native Human, grateful wife, mom to 2 humans, 3 cats, and 1 dog; only child/daughter; singer-songwriter; swing, salsa, and C&W social dancer; forest-lover, streaming video-listener; palindromophile, craft enthusiast, indefatigable civil rights advocate; gratefully recovered since 1995 from what then seemed like a hopeless state of mind and body by a Power greater than I am in 12-step rooms full of garden variety drunks and addicts just like me.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
don't ask why
Monday, December 29, 2008
happy sad
yesterday today
Saturday, December 27, 2008
new year's eve
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
I'm 13
Sunday, December 21, 2008
non sequiturs
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Jesse's girl
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
everyone loves DID
Monday, December 08, 2008
recurring dream
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Friday, December 05, 2008
not going to be perfect, yet
Dear P-e Obama
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
what the hell?
Friday, November 28, 2008
on Broadway
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
for the agnostics
Sunday, November 16, 2008
123 567
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Should have been Cody Linley!
Sunday, November 09, 2008
now, awake
Inspiring Book
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Happy Days Are Here, Again!
Monday, October 27, 2008
baby songs
Sunday, October 26, 2008
To Palin
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
kettle bell train
the good ol' days
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
WAY less zeal
Going to do a 4:30 run with Marie this morning before bootcamp. Our first since we were about 3 months prego.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
not as much zeal
Then we picked up my fixed computer. A new, big HD and more RAM. A LOT less expensive than getting a new computer.
BH thinks an iPhone is too expensive. I hope I can take the gift certificate back.
Tomorrow, we are going to visit DJ and back to L&E's to use my Dad's 10.5 CD and scan some things. I have a scanner, too, but I might as well do it over there.
Hank stood up today several times by sitting behind his plastic Einstein thing. It was for the sole purpose of eating the top of the Einstein. I went into to the kitchen from the den, which is essentially the same room, and when I came back, he was standing there with his lips sticking out, standing, slightly bent over going for the green thing on top. There is not anything he doesn't want to eat these days. The other day he wanted to eat the window, so I let him. It was a little dusty, but not anymore.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Happy Bday, BH; Happy New Year, J friends!
It is funny how one marries one's mother or father. I am awake, now because he woke me up with his snoring. (I think they would all be surprised to hear I see many similarities between the three of them - my parents and BH). I beat him to sleep, which my mom also says helps her, but I couldn't get back to sleep. BH and my dad are quick to remind my mom and me that we snore. We don't deny we do, and I will gladly change positions to stop. When I was pregnant, there was no position in which I didn't snore. That snoring was due to fluid retention. Usually, my snoring is due to sinus congestion. I know this is so mundane. I just ramble to entertain myself until I get sleepy enough again that I can sleep through snoring..
I enjoyed the process today with Hank. We left the house THREE times. I didn't fall asleep when he napped, but once I cuddled with him and the other time just sat in the room with him doing other things. I read most of the Attachment Parenting book. It made me wish I had worn him more as an infant. I also wish I had embraced the cosleeping thing earlier. I didn't want to sleep touching him when he was an infant because I thought it would be bad if he got used to sleeping while cuddled (beware baby trainers). It makes sense to cuddle a baby while he sleeps ESPECIALLY when he is tiny. Progress not Perfection. The other suggestion in the book that resonated with me was, "don't think about all the things you should be doing while you are nursing your baby (or doing whatever with baby)." Illegal! He said it's fine to make a list, but you are not allowed to worry about finishing it, and you should just enjoy the sweet time with baby. The dishes will get done later.
I saw a segment of an extremely heartbreaking story on Oprah, a family addicted to heroin - the parents and 2 teenaged sons. They also had a 13 month old baby. That story is one of the most tragic I have heard. I speculate Oprah will receive many requests to adopt that baby. She offered each of them treatment in a separate facility, including travel and the cost of treatment, if they would each call to express their desire to go within 24 hours.
I get my computer back tomorrow. We are also stopping by the condo to get the mail and check in. Wednesday we are going to visit DJ in the hospital. She is getting a bionic knee. I am proud of myself for going to the hospital to see Courtney. I used to do lots of things like that, without fanfare, but I have mentioned that I have felt like doing NOTHING or going ANYWHERE for more than a year. I hope this turn for the better (normal) is an upward spiral I can keep riding. I like the gets out and does nice things for people Meredith. I guess my next goal should be makes social engagements and keeps them. The integrity Meredith.
OK, I am going to shoot for sleep, again.
Shana Tovah!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
itchy skin disease
It woke me up this morning. The hydrocortisone cream she gave me did nothing to keep it from itching. I am now doing some cryo-therapy on it. When I had that stress fracture in my fibula, before I knew it was a stress fracture, I accidentally gave myself frostbite on my shin by leaving this ice pack on it too long. It made that skin numb, though, and I am thinking it would be awesome if my forearm skin went numb right about now.
My computer has been dead for a while. I finally took it in to get a new hard drive because being computerless was making me anxious. Being cut off from the world via technology is something some people have a hard time with. Apparently, I am one of those people. Isn't that interesting. I am trying to quit shoulding all over myself.
I have been feeling, off and on since I got pregnant with Hank, like not doing ANYTHING. It is getting better lately, but while I was sitting in the anxiety of being computerless, I couldn't make myself take the initiative to go get it fixed. I was so proud of myself on Friday for getting out with Hank and running a few errands. Seems like a given, and I never knew I had that kind of agoraphobia, but apparently it's a tendency of mine. When I talk to myself about it, it usually starts like, "geez, you really need to go do___. Just go do it. I don't feel like it. Well, you are lazy, then. I am tired. Other people have babies and aren't tired. Other people leave the house. Self, stop shoulding all over me. It's ok. Just do the next 5 minutes. You're right, I'm sorry. I am always right. Hello."
Had a bad sinus infection last week. It was the first time I have been sick since I was pregnant. It must have been at least a year ago. That's pretty good. Went to the doctor a little late in the illness, and she gave me augmentin, an antibiotic. I usually have an iron stomach when it comes to medicine, but it made me very sick. I couldn't sleep and was very nauseated. I thought I was back to normal the next day, so I went to Central Market. While I was in line being talked to by this hippie who was admiring Hank, I got vasovagal and had to get out of line and go sit down. A Central Market employee was extremely nice and gave me a bag of ice and a free, giant bottled water (score!) and loaded my groceries. He even offered to drive me home. The ice and the car a/c made me feel much better, and I was able to drive home fine. These two little old ladies came up and were trying to entertain Hank while he was still sitting in his floppy in the cart, but he is just starting to get stranger anxiety, and when they tried to pick him up out of the cart, he started crying. It was funny how I snapped out of feeling nauseated to soothe him. Not like lifting a car off your kid or anything, but the same principle, I think.
LM and EB are in Red River. Be jealous!
Two new babies recently - William (Will). I think his middle name is Thomas.
And John Hudson (Hudson). Both very cute. Both born by c-section, and both moms are recovering well. C-section babies do come out already looking cute because they aren't squished at all. Of course, Hank was cute even squished, but some babies it takes a couple of days to get cute. These guys were cuties from the first minute!
One more baby coming in November in my circle. And hopefully a Hazel or Hannah or Hayle or Hughes sometime in the works within the year.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
cool morning in Dallas
I think Hank woke up before I did because I woke up to his pulling my hair, and I think he had been talking to me before that. It was 8 am!!! Extremely late for me.
I think warrantless wiretapping should be called unwarranted wiretapping.
Thank God I fell asleep before Palin talked last night. I would have had to clean up WAY too much puke.
Today Lana and Ernie have been married 43 years. Congratulations! i hope Brad and I make it that long. Just kidding. I know we will. He is an awesome husband and an awesome dad. We just had our 6 year anniversary in August. We didn't do anything to celebrate it, really. Well, we bought a giant, comfortable mattress. That was a celebration in itself. It is the most awesome mattress of all time. The other person can be doing kickboxing on his side of the bed, and you can't feel it on your side.
The other day, however, my wonderful husband had his feet where my head goes. That is a totally Monk no no of mine that I have had as long as I can remember. No feet in the vicinity of where any other body part goes, particularly not the head. But, I averted the crisis by just changing my pillow cases. Whew. I know we are going to make it.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
who are these nutcases?
Romney talked about family values, sex, drugs... Palin's daughter is "choosing" to keep her baby. She gets to choose because we still have a right to choose.
Lastly, it is SO bizarre Fred Thompson postured that McCain is anti-government establishment. The Republican party is the establishment reasonable people are trying to undo, not vice versa. Fred Thompson also used the phrase "angry left." I didn't feel angry until he used that phrase, then I felt disgusted.
It was only 78 when we got to Dallas today. We waited 2 hours in Jarrell to have a flat tire changed. Fortunately it was only about 80, there. Going to clean out more of Lana and Ernie's house.
I wish people would say, "God bless humans" instead of "God bless America." Or, "God bless the earth." Why just bless us? We need God to bless everyone so we can all get along. Do they think God is listening, was thinking about blessing everything and everyone, but instead decides then only to bless the US? Plus, are they asking God to bless North and South America, or do they just mean the US. Does that include Canada? What about Puerto RIco and Guam? God bless the Universe.
Monday, September 01, 2008
misc
Speaking of the exploited, Brad and I watched Fast Food Nation, the fictional narrative based on the non-fiction book about the fast food industry, illegal immigrant workers, poor kids from small towns, and the reason you will never want to eat another fast food hamburger, again. The movie was VERY depressing. I think it might have been more depressing than say, Schindler's List. While SL was extremely depressing and sad, at least there was a small glimmer of hope (Schindler and the list). The plight of these folks is endless and hopeless and cycles for generations. Very very dark.
Enjoyed seeing Brad for an extra day this weekend. Wednesday, the kid and my parents and I are going to Dallas to do another round of clean up and clean out in their house.
Lastly, I got the oil changed on Brad's truck this morning at the Jiffy Lube where we always go - Lamar at around 34th. As I was leaving, the young, attractive, African-American chap that performed the oil change for "my husband's truck," said, "you got some guns, too." I can only speculate that what he meant by "too" was that in addition to having my oil changed, I also have large biceps muscles. I am not sure, however.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Sunday, August 10, 2008
names for the record
Thursday, July 31, 2008
up LATE
I got a cortisone shot in my wrist today. I do have de Quervain's tenosynovitis (also called washerwoman's syndrome; also called macho personal trainer syndrome). BH asked if Dr Spears was going to consult me next time he needed a doctor. Of course. Going to pump and dump for 4 days so Hank doesn't grow chest hair, already. I am guessing the shot is why I am WIDE awake at 11:41 pm. The shot HURT, but my wrist already feels better.
I am completely addicted to MONK. I can relate to many of his quirks. The germs thing, no changing thing, having things a certain way for no good reason, but being completely aversive to changing thing, wearing the same clothes every day thing (I have 2 nursing tops I switch back and forth). I have been renting them on Netflix and watching them while doing things around the house, etc.
Going to try to go to sleep. I am tired, but not sleepy. When I have taken oral corticosteroids for sinus infections, I felt like a million bucks: cleaned the house, organized closets, and ran hard enough to get a stress fracture on a bone that only bears 1/6 of one's body weight (also combined with antibiotics which I also implicate in the cause of the stress fracture). [I also think my fibulas in particular must bear more weight due to my high, extremely rigid arches].
I am reading some Raymond Carver short stories. They are easy, quick reads, but apparently some part of his genius is going WAY over my head, because the back cover reviews go nuts over him, and I am just mildly entertained.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Vote for me, too

Vote for me at Competico, too!
I'm sitting in my swing, and I have a pink kitty cuddley thing my cousins gave me.
Yes, real men cuddle with pink things.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Friday, July 04, 2008
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Happy 5 months!
Total non sequitur, I googled thumb extensor pain and after performing the Finkelstein test diagnosed myself with de Quervain's tenosinovitis. I just did some more googling on treatments, and apparently this is common in new moms. I first irritated it at least 9 months ago while carrying 2 x 15 pound dumbbells in each hand. My right hand could handle it, but my left hand could not. But if I was carrying around 4 x 15 pound dumbbells I had to be pretty early in pregnancy. Apparently hormones released during or surrounding breastfeeding tend to prevent it from healing. Along with picking up an ever heavier baby, it stays irritated. That is my experience. Couldn't find a consensus on whether you can have a cortisone shot while breastfeeding. It looks like no, but I also found many women who had had one. I tried ice and that made it feel worse. Weird because it's inflamed and ice reduces inflammation. Heat feels good except that it's hot outside and wearing a heat pack on your arm makes you HOT. Although, the past 2 days have been unbelievably not unbelievably hot. Amazing.
Happy declaration of independence day! Brad is glad we don't have to bow to the House of Lords. I wouldn't mind afternoon tea, myself. But, I am glad we have fluoridated water. No, I think Britain does also, now. But we (Michigan, actually) were WAY ahead on that one. E.g.
Shane McGowan
Sunday, June 29, 2008
house pictures and orange picture
Baby recommendations
No Cry Sleep Solution
No Cry Discipline Solution
Sleepsacks I like:


Found new Halo and Kiddopotamus Sleepsacks on eBay, FYI.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Old Stuff
Little dude is asleep in the swing. I couldn't stand to get rid of a few things without making a record of them, so I scanned them. My friend Amy Dixon and her sister Deborah and I used to use those stencil-type letters that you had to rub on individually to make stationery prototypes that would potentially, some day get made into real stationery. Amy and I were about 10. I had to show you this one.

I also found (had delivered by my parents) a semi-Hello Kitty plastic thing for note paper. I had hardly used any of the paper because I wanted to save it because I thought it was so neat. 1976 San Rio.


Lastly, the little dude is doing very cute things such as laughing and putting his entire fist in his mouth. I think he will be standing on his own (holding on to something) soon. His reflux is better, but now he is teething. Brad thinks he is getting fangs, first. Those are the only ones he can feel. Although we know it's usually the bottom front teeth.
The first CCC swim meet is this weekend. I hope the parents can keep their Mr Hyde's at bay.
In house news, we are almost almost done. The cement floor was cleaned and sealed. The drawer pulls and towel rods got put up today. We have been enjoying our tree house bedroom for over a month. It is so awesome. Quiet. Relaxing. I have watched extremely little tv since we moved. The living room tv got moved to the exercise room, so the only time I watch taped Ellen is when I ride the spin bike. The bedroom tv is 1)too far away for me to see a)because it's small and b)because the bedroom is big! and 2) I used to watch tv before bed, and now we listen to Hank's relaxation CD. I made him 2 new ones last night. I took out the organ music. 1)because Brad didn't care for it and 2)because it had too big of crescendos I couldn't equalize with iTunes.
3)Would you like another numbered list?
4)Little dude is waking!



Thursday, June 12, 2008
sweet
Dude is asleep and as soon as I get done pontificating, I am going to do something intellectual!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Diagnosis spider
I had baby duty for 24 hours because we initially thought he had the flu. For the first 2 months, I did not ever want to be away from the baby. Now, I need breaks. Especially due to his acid reflux. Poor guy. It's hard to be around him with no break when he is upset. MA and I talked about feeling guilty when we left our husbands alone with the kid. Or feeling like the husband was baby sitting the kid. In fact, the responsibility is half his, and he is not baby sitting. Our husbands never act like it is more our job or act like we should feel guilty when we leave, this is just our thought process. I even sometimes feel guilty when I go to work, particularly when BH is usually at work and is staying home to work. He can work from home any time he feels like if he doesn't have meetings. I guess this is one of those things I have to say, isn't that interesting, Mary. It's not bad or wrong, just interesting. The reality is, I love the baby, and I want to be around him 99.9% of the time. Normal people have to have moments of silence to themselves. I am a normal person. I suppose that is up for debate.
Determined to write up my dissertation as a manuscript to submit to a journal. Feel like if I had a block of 2 hours every now and then I could get it done. I cannot think long enough to write complete paragraphs when I only have 20 minutes here or 20 minutes there. I am hoping the dude will eventually get on enough of a schedule I can predict when I might have 2 hours.
I can clean the house in the short breaks, answer email, become self-absorbed on my blog. But, I can't use very much of my brain unless I have a block of time. That was true even before baby.
It's funny how almost everyone I know from age 30+ complains that their brain does not work as well as it used to, and they think they are abnormal. Maybe this is another one of those things. I am going to stop telling myself my brain isn't working even when it isn't. The other day I couldn't think of the word highchair. Isn't that interesting.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
miscellaneous, but what isn't
Feeling good about democratic party. Not crazy about Hillary, but appreciative of her magnanimity. Didn't like Bill while he was prez, but post-prez was doing great until he tried to get his wife elected. I figure he is still trying to make amends to her. Too bad he screwed it up! I really really really really hope Barack Obama becomes our president for the next 8 years. It will be the only way the US can continue to show its face in the world. John McCain seems like a nice person, and what a life he has had, but I don't want him to continue the beehive poking in the Middle East, and he seems determined to do so.
HH is feeling better, but is not cured from his acid reflux. It is extremely sad to see him upset.
We started a bedtime routine last Saturday night. 1. Get naked 2. Bath with lavendar Aveeno baby body wash 3. Sleep sack 4. Relaxing music - I made a CD 5. Ad lib food. Tonight he has gone to sleep 3x, but this last time has stayed asleep for an hour. His max sleep time was 7 hours, but that was a TOTAL fluke. His normal max is 4 hours. I am trying to stretch him to 5. I think once he can eat better during the day, he will be able to go longer at night.
Tomorrow starts some new classes at the J. We are changing the early spinning class to a "cardio" class. I am thinking there will be some rebellion. I thought we would do some kick-boxing. Everyone gets into punching in the mirror.
Selling some old board games on eBay. Found one similar to one I have buy it now for $54. Wouldn't that be nice. They must have been put somewhere I couldn't reach, or I couldn't get anyone to play with me. Brad said having siblings did not facilitate playing board games, either. Well, I hope Hank does get a board game partner, but I guess it's not a done deal that they will play together.
Coaching at Canyon Creek for 6 weeks. The sweet kids. I love working with/for Don. I also liked working for Steve, but this team is an entirely different animal - only a 6 week season, 2 intramural meets that only last 3 hours, and the kids are less skilled, but very very sweet.
Someday maybe I can swim at Lost Creek, again. I miss wanting to swim 5000 m. I have been lucky to swim 2x/week, and if I can make myself stay in 2000 yards, it's a success.
Even before the kid, my motivation to exercise changed. When I was doing triathlons, I think I was highly motivated by anxiety. Once I stopped being plagued by anxiety, I stopped going on 5 hour bike rides. I was still swimming a lot, but it was purely for the joy of 400 IM. I think if I could swim in the morning, I could get back into 5000 m, but if I swim in the afternoon, I have a really hard time being energetic, and for some reason my brain will not stay in the water.
It's inconvenient that Brad and I are both morning exercisers. I think we are both doing fine, though. Neither one of us has become obese or developed type II diabetes or heart disease. Well, I take that back, I could be overweight. I probably am. I don't feel huge, but I am still 15 pounds heavier than my normal. I'm fairly cool with that.
Hank is training to be a security guard. He likes to hold keys, stand around, and check all the doors.
Friday, June 06, 2008
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
hardly a disaster
Thursday, April 10, 2008
my hip hop band
Friday, March 28, 2008
Lost tense
No, it doesn't have quite the same ring, but I think we should use the subjunctive tense.
I am trying out for The Search for the next Pussycat Doll and trying the new version out.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Variation on another acronym
Awesome. Someone googled TXTing acronyms, and the first page was my first batch. OK, OUR first batch. These are really going to catch on!!!
Normally, I'm a nice person,
Monday, March 24, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Looking for an indoor pool in Austin, TX
I don't want to get all the UV radiation swimming outside at the J, and I can't seem to get out of bed at 4:30 am to make it there when it opens so I can get back so Brad can go exercise, too. When he gets home, I am too tired and don't feel like swimming. I hate swimming in cold water, and at UT there is no where to park. Isn't this such a sad, luxury problem? Can anyone think of a good indoor pool somewhere near Lamar and 53rd St?
Lifetime fitness at 620 x Parmer has an indoor pool, but that is pretty damn far. Town Lake YMCA has one, but not very easy to get to. Brad and I talked about building a 25m lane in our driveway. Wouldn't that be awesome? We would also have to have a fence surrounding it to make it 4 feet by 26 yards. I also imagine a pool can't butt up to the road, so we might not make 25 meters.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Recent News
I think we should boycott the Olympics. (And the IOC should never have agreed to have them in CHINA.)
Dick Cheney doesn't care what we think. (OK, that's not news, but it happened, again.)
It's flooding in Texas, but not in Austin. TURN AROUND. Don't drown.
The kid is awesome.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
The Year of the Rat
A New Earth
A new kind of coach
Best way to change behavior
Olympic Swimmers at Texas Swim Center
Pool records were broken. More world records have been broken at the Lee and Joe Jamail Texas Swim Center than at any other pool in the world.
Leading Cause of Mortality in US
Smoking causes over 400,000 deaths per year in the US. Smoking is the leading preventable cause of death in the US.
Daily PA
Do moderately intense cardio 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week
Or
Do vigorously intense cardio 20 minutes a day, 3 days a week
And
Do 8-10 strength-training exercises, 8-12 repetitions of each exercise 2x a week.
Moderate-intensity physical activity means working hard enough to raise your heart rate and break a sweat, yet still being able to carry on a conversation. It should be noted that to lose weight or maintain weight loss, 60 to 90 minutes of physical activity may be necessary. The 30-minute recommendation is for the average healthy adult to maintain health and reduce the risk for chronic disease.
Danskin Triathlon Austin

Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
TBBOAT 1 week+
He just ate for about 1.5 hours, so, now I am awake and also hungry.
I think I have post partum elation. I think it's well deserved because I had prego depression. That was super stink a link. I feel better physically and mentally than I have in months. Wow.
Also, for the first and only time in my life I finally have the playboy bunny body I have always wanted. Not really that I have always wanted it, but my boobs are huge and I have a little pooch on my belly. It's funny.
