the usual

we started our usual texas football weekend with tailgating at 8 am (game at 11). brad painted his face just like he always does for home games, but this time, to look like vince young. I think some people mistook this minstrel idea and were offended. you know how much brad loves vince young, and he misses him terribly. consequently, brad had a little too much md 20/20, and we had to walk him and his bike home at halftime. when we got home, we was passed out in the backyard clutching his vince young and bevo stuffed dolls with the radio blasting the post-game show.

we actually had our usual brad rides, mh does whatever. I slept until nearly 10 am yesterday! that is probably the first time in over 10 years. we got new glasses and picked them up today. brad's are really cool. mine, of course, make me look smrt.
looking forward to doing a lot of nothing tomorrow. it's not 1000 degrees outside, a pleasant reprieve.
getting things done for my proposal presentation in 3 weeks!!!

I don't know why everyone thinks Jean Schmidt doctored her 1993 Columbus marathon photo. Marie ran 3:19 at age 40.

Oh, here's our friend Stacy winning IM HI.

I guess I was out of the loop when the healthcare workers in NO were charged in late July. It is completely disgusting that those who risked their own lives, not to mention comfort or health to take care of the infirmed, (whom everyone else had abandonned) would be charged with a criminal offense. PLEASE, if I am 70 years old and a DNR, the hospital is flooded, no fresh water, no electricity, it's over 100 degrees inside PLEASE give me morphine and midazolam. Where was the law enforcement after the levees broke? Shooting at people trying to leave, already left themselves. We should all be so fortunate to have truly selfless people to take care of us during a disaster if we could not take care of ourselves. Ugh, it is digusting!!!!
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-na-katrina21jul21,0,6607636.story?coll=la-home-headlines
LA Times article from July 21.

In non-news, I got my diss survey up and running online. Still waiting on person #5 and now, September to roll around. Wouldn't it have been wonderful to get it done BEFORE classes started, like when I emailed all of them in early August. Oh, well. Obviously it's the tiniest blip on the radar of importance.

Johnny was a naughty boy, but Johnny is no more, for what he thought was H20 was H2SO4. HS chemistry. Apparently, the new airplane bombers would have died from sulfuric acid inhalation while assembling the bomb inside the airplane bathroom before the over an hour it would have taken to assemble the bomb with the chemicals they brought. So, apparently, it is not necessary that we have trashed all the creme de la mer and evian water before boarding. But, doesn't it make the Republicans look herioc to stop the terrorists before they get us again.
I suppose I am susceptible to the culture of fear just as much as anyone else, but it is disgusting to try to manipulate us into believing that what we are doing in Iraq is OK because we are preemptively stopping war or being attacked.
I can't believe the world has allowed the US to preemptively stop war essentially since we declared independence.
I know I said it wouldn't be so bad to be a tea sipper, but apparently the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree as Blair and W are bff's.

Well, some news is we saw Andy Roddick at Austin Java. Did I already tell you that? He is tall.
He won his first big tournament of the year today. The UT swim alums are breaking their own WR's left and right. Texas invite is this fall. It's pretty neat. Although, I don't know many of the current collegiate swimmers.

ready to move

bh and I had a great vacation. met up with th in santa fe. hiked up santa fe baldy. it was not TOO tough, except the last mile was 1000 ft ascent. the net ascent was only 2000 feet - from 10 to 12, but the round trip was 14 miles. except that bh and th are part mountain goat, and have hearts the size of grapefruits, and mine is the size of a tangerine, I think. then we drove up to leadville. it was pretty awesome. we hiked up mount elbert - the easiest route was a 5000 foot ascent over a little over 5 miles up. from 10 to 14.5. round trip was around 11 miles, I think. the footing was easier, though. we were above tree line for a long time. the views from the top were pretty spectacular. leadville, itself was awesome. they have a 12 mile asphalt trail that circumnavigates the town, coffee shop with soy lattés, and a lap pool. the houses are cheap and unbelievably cute. most built in the late 1800's. we ate at tim's high mountain pies 3x. 2x pizza, and once an amazing sub sandwich. stayed at the historic delaware hotel. it was historic, but not too historic - running water in the room, etc. drove back in one day. not our plan, but it worked out. really enjoying each others' company. that has been wonderful.

back on the bureaucracy train trying to get 6 adults in a room together to listen to my proposal. I can see why people quit this thing before it is over. I have been able to see at many stages why people quit. I suppose it is not an intellectual feat at all, but a feat in perseverance and stubbornnes. thank goodness I am unbelievably stubborn. I had always viewed that as a defect.

felt emotional today during spin class when U2's "one" came on. kind of goofball, but I was overcome with sadness. still very unhappy with what all the goverments and militaries involved are doing in the middle east. I don't know what I can do about it. brad told me the san marcos convenience store owner, who is pakistani, gets harassed by the san marcos pd, a professor from texas state, and various patrons. I am so increduluous that these things happen in 2006???!!! I suggested we call the ACLU, but she would be run out of town, I suppose. she is unbelievably nice. it is irrelevant, but she is a non-practicing muslim. how inoccuous is that? her phone is tapped. rest assured your tax dollars are being spent listening to her talk about her family, their medical problems, and the store for hours on end. good job, w!

marion jones suspected of taking EPO. if these pro athletes really are taking drugs, would someone PLEASE tell them which drugs will actually enhance their performances. jones and landis should switch docs if they are guilty. maybe I am naive, but I think landis is innocent. I have no idea why a sprinter would take EPO, so I think Jones must be innocent, also.

bff neil walker was on the relay team who set the new WR in the 4x100 free at the commonwealth games. pretty cool!!!
saw other bff shaun jordan for the second time in a row while I was wearing my shaun jordan swim camp tshirt. guess we are cosmically tied... I really don't wear that tshirt very often!

better

look at a picture of floyd landis. then, look at a picture of barry bonds. one of these things is not like the other.
I was going to post some, but don't feel like going thru the trouble. but, do you get my point?
floyd's 2nd test comes back saturday. I will be shocked if it's true that he took steroids. if he did, he really needs to get a new doc. that would not help his cycling performance.

lana is here visiting. we are having a nice time. we took brad's computer to the mall today. we spent longer at the mall than we have in years and bought nothing. weird.
we have walked at the lake after I exercise every day so far.

48 hour cease fire that lasts 12 hours. huh.

despite the state of the earth, I am feeling better. I guess individuals have to do well to make any change, so I am not going to feel guilty about it. brad got a letter back from kay bailey yesterday. he had pointed out that she opposed clinton's going to somalia, and supported bush's going to iraq. she said that conflicts without an end date needlessly endanger our soldiers' lives. hm. she didn't respond to her contradictory statements in the letter. at least someone from her office wrote back. I believe if enough of us write to them and tell them what we think, surely they will listen. or VOTE. I realize this is probably unrealistic. but, otherwise, I go back into existential meltdown.

dark cloud slightly lighter

well, if you are wondering what to get me for christmas.... it's a subscription to multivariate behavioral research. just in case you were wondering. who knew I liked research methods? not I. but, I do!
lana and I went to my offfice today. got my grant proposal updated. just need to do a couple more things and I can send it off. once I get committee approval!
sent them all an email yesterday to try to begin the ball rolling to presenting my proposal. I now see that the ball rolls much like a bowling ball pushed by an ant uphill through sand. ok, maybe not quite that bad, but I didn't get any response from 3 of them, yet.
looked a lot for a job yesterday. many jobs for DSHS (TDH). many. a professor I asked was optimistic and said it was a matter of timing. to me, time is one my side because of my skills. I have a job that I could work more at for a period of months. this seems totally reasonable to me. is it, in fact, unreasonable?
she also said I could work for the city. it also seems to me a school district would be a reasonable option.
I felt very anxious looking. of course the ones I found were for today, this week, etc. a few looked REALLY cool. but, those will be gone. this is how I felt looking for a house. I can see why I have not yet looked.
anyway, trying to talk myself down off the ledge.
afterall, I am healthy, bh is healthy, family is healthy. ok, physically, not mentally, clearly!!! I can run, although my leg is a little irritated so I am biking tomorrow instead of running. I have a great roof over my head. I never miss a meal. I think I need bigger hand paddles to swim with, that's super cool. bh and I are going to the mountains. trying to get reexcited about that one. my house is not being bombed.

I don't categorically support any government under all circumstances. I have been talking with my peeps about the middle east situation. it seems many categorically support a country no matter what it does. I don't categorically support anyone or anything no matter what it does. if brad started bombing people, even if they had bombed him in the past, I would not categorically support him. I would still love him, and I would support him as a person, but I would not support his bombing people.

found out some more old friends died. Alex Magocsi who used to write for the Observer and Mark Durham. sad.
I guess this is what happens the longer you stay alive. it is hard to think this will get easier, especially as people closer and closer go. people say that births balance it out, but I have never felt that.

we did have a birth, however in the fam. d&d had girl #2. very cute. all are well. that is good news.

et tu, floyd?

I really hope it's not true. I don't know enough about thyroid meds to know if that is a plausible answer. Or the hip meds. I think I could have grown a beard while I was on the prednisone, but I don't know if the dose I was on would have been considered performance enhancing.
I just hope the B sample comes back neg.
geez, over the edge today!

ugh

when the importance of something is very high, and there is another variable I can't remember, motivation required to do it becomes very high. it's an exponential relationship between the 3. I have the article in my office, and I am at home.
not getting any school work done. I did reorganize a couple of things, clean, laundry, other little things I had been putting off because I have been working so hard on my diss.
had a discussion regarding my career plans. feel very depressed. feel very unable to concentrate. feel very hopeless. yucko.
I was really rocking along, and now I am having an existential melt down. yucko 2.
lana is coming to visit. "we" are going to knit and work on my diss. that is, if I can get my brain to reboot.

cross-eyed

I guess it's from drinking iced tea all morning and staring at the computer.
#1 I had a set of arrows drawn the wrong way in my SEmodel. DUH!
#2 I am getting a negative variance I can't figure out. It is impossible to have negative variance. Duh.
#3 I have a standardized regression weight greater than 1. Also impossible. Duh.
2 and 3, however, I cannot figure out. they will have to wait until another day. this afternoon is clients. tomorrow, clients. last day of swim lessons.

floyd!

brad said now when we ride people will yell, "floyd!" instead of, "lance!" yes, they will. he is certainly a more humble and likable fellow.
got an actual SEmodel to run today. the fit was pretty terrible, but I used my own data, drew the model, and got the dang thing to run. I am pretty excited.
noise in bmont is a little disturbing to my deep thought. fortunately, the workmen quit around 2 pm. must me nice to be contracted by UT. today I was entertained by the escalator repairmen who were enjoying wham!, kool and the gang, and a duran duran. it kept going, but I cranked my organ hymns. fairly amusing.
lifted weights with bh yesterday at the J. sore.
did you see the sunday talk shows? bush press secretary? ugh.

go, floyd

yesterday my yahoo news had a headline lance and bruyneel knew landis couldn't hack it. today it says landis can probably win. I like to make headlines in retrospect, also. got to watch quite a few stages at my parents' house. alp d'huez was pretty cool.

there has been so much going on in the news I haven't had time to comment.
it seems so blatantly and painfully obvious that bush is a total incompetent based solely on the stem cell research bill. yet, he continues to add more evidence on top of that. either life is sacred or it is not. embryos that would have been used to save lives will now be destroyed, or as he thinks of it killed. how could that make any sense? he supports the death penalty - strike 2. and there is that war.
one time at the 7 am gary h. talked about getting upset by the news. he said his sponsor told him the newspaper was not for him to read. I kind of agree, but I also think that we can handle things when the wind stops blowing. I wrote letters to my senators and representative about the stem cell bill. I am not sure how they ended up voting (or if they voted at all.)

coach steve won't be at practice today so I am going over to the J this morning. I hope the water is 80 or above. the masters coach there thinks freezing is better. I am banking on the 100 degree weather to undermine his evil plot.

got a lot of work done in my office yesterday. I am in super clean-out mode. got stuff like that done here on wednesday.

consumer note: don't buy an appliance from sears. our frig quit working last week. I had bought the extended warranty when I bought the frig. they couldn't come out to fix it for 2 weeks. they said in order to get reimbursed for our food spoilage, we would need to keep the food to prove we had food in our frig. yes, most people don't keep any food in their frig. poor brad called probably 20 different times including the times to the "direct service line." he kept getting hung up on, transferred, put on hold. finally he talked with a manager who "escalated" our call. why should a repair need to be escalated, and why do they not have enough technicians so that people don't have to wait 2 weeks? the guy came out on wednesday and fixed it. he didn't want to see our trashcan full of food. we also took pictures of the food before we threw it away.
anyway, just a word of warning. who knew they would suck so bad.

big d

in big D. played last night. had fun. remembered most of my own songs. had some help. that part was fun. saw some folks I hadn't seen in a LONG time and some that I hadn't seen in a while. it was nice to see everyone. I felt loved. cool.

gave my 2nd cousins swim lessons yesterday. it is easy to teach kids that have been indoctrinated with don's lingo. shark nose bubbles, giant pizza circles, and aloha ears. no wonder they looked at me like I was speaking Japanese.

heard the word Doran 2 is here. congratulations!!!

haven't gotten any work done, but I have gotten to enjoy the company of my parents. that is pretty cool.
riding inside watching the tour on their cable is fun. makes it easy to push on the trainer. got to swim at the landry center and am going again. was going to go to the dallas J, but it is far. the bapists are close to my parents house.

speaking of baptists, my dad said the baptists have the best hymnal as far as religious music goes. I guess I have to agree that there are some classics, but I love me some anglican organ music. how great thou art, his eye is on the sparrow, and were you there are pretty awesome. but o, God our help in ages past and a mighty fortress is our God totally rock.

mother and I have some serious missions today. getting packets of condiments at a store near fair park and hot dogs from costco. we both enjoy doing those things.

96

made a 96 on my last stats test. isn't that awesome? especially because I am taking the class pass/fail.
well, I think it might be a first for me.
enjoyed the dry-er weather which now appears to be over.
steve's pool was 75 on wednesday morning. too cold!
cc swim team is winding down. I wish I could adopt my little 6 year old. I don't think his mom would appreciate that. plus, I would have to bring him up to my office during the day which I don't think he would appreciate.
bh and I are having July 4 hangout day on Sunday because I will be working on my last SEM test on July 4.
thinking about vegging in Dallas in a couple of weeks. awesome.

cuckoo

Just got a reply regarding my exercise dependence survey email soliciation that was pretty funny. This lady said she would be happy to fill it out if I told her how I got her email address. If I didn't reply to this email, she would report me to "internet security." I imagine Al Gore must be running this deparment. It is actually legal to send someone an email asking them to participate in academic research, FYI.
Many are ironmanning today. Checking on folks online. Everyone looks good so far. I feel relieved to not be up there. It would be WAY too much with summer school, clients, munchkins, sleeping.
Had our munchkin meet yesterday. Had to scrap the relay because of the rain. Everyone did well.
Finished my take-home test! Going to work in the yard this afternoon.

91

I have lots of data for my exercise dependence study. woohoo. people are complaining about internal consistency reliability. if you say strongly agree for I like to run, and strongly disagree for I like running, I know you are cuckoo and will not give your answers as much weight. see? I hope I can get 200 from the online survey. that would be awesome.

for the record, the windows remote server is a HUGE pain in the neck. AMOS software is giving me grey hair. other than that, things are peachy.
swm meet for the little guys on saturday. then working on my SEM test.
only two more weeks of both after tomorrow. wow.
was getting run down, but I rested yesterday, and today feel perkier.
had a send off dinner for marie last night. I imagine she will kick ass at IMCDA.

An old friend, Mark Bynum, passed away on Thursday. Young with a young family. Unbelievably sad.
I hadn't seen Mark for about ten years, but I always remember him having a smile on his face.
When Mark lived in Austin, he had a dog named Fritz, often called Fritzy. He told me the dog didn't like girls. (The dog had apparently been taunted by girls earlier in its life.) I thought I could fool the dog, so I tried lowering my voice to call the dog and walked over to the dog like a guy. Did not work. Pretty funny.
We visited lots of lakes and springs one summer - Krause Springs, Hamilton Pool, and others I don't even know the names of. Lots of floating on tubes and drinking beer.
Mark let us stay at his ranch while we were getting sober. I remember his driving us into "town" which consisted of a gas station with a sandwich shop to get a sandwich. I think the sandwich was especially good because I hadn't been eating much, but it was a really good sandwich.
The family requests that charitable donations be made in his name. Communities in Schools, 6707 Brentwood Stair Road, Suite 510, Fort Worth, TX 76112. Keep praying for his family.

like a normal person

ran yesterday morning on the street pretty much like a normal person. I did 9 min run, 1 min walk for 40 minutes, then ran the rest of the way. no leg pain at all. back is a little sore today.
summer school class going well. getting a little handle on spss. material is not challenging so far. it's the dang software. but, I found a TDH job online the other day for researcher that said must be proficient in stats analysis, etc., so here I go becoming proficient.
coaching the little kids is making me want a little kid. my 9:15 spin class this morning said, "hi, miss meredith." when I said hi to them. I told them about the little kids, and they said, yes, they love you because you didn't get them up early, make them eat and get dressed to get to swim practice. still, they are cute and sweet. a few in particular. one little girl hugs me hello and goodbye every day. an 11 year old boy tries to tell me weird stuff, and it's funny, and a 5 year old I am in love with. extremely precious. finish school, let Brad go to school, and then some offspring, I think.
saw al gore's movie yesterday. inspired to commute on my bike when I have time. inconvenient, it is. seems unbelievable we are where we are, but seems doable to get to where we need to be if we can REMOVE the republicans from congress and the white house. ugh.
went to costco yesterday and tried to remember that, with the exception of me, most people don't bring their brains to costco. this helped me understand the driving and parking in the middle of the aisle. or at least to hate the game and not the playas.
next sping I am going to get ready for "so you think you can dance tryouts." awesome.

gay terrorists

read about the national gay marriage ban/flag burning amendment - in the interest of securing our nation's values. SO many problems with this. if you want to secure the sanctity of marriage, execution for people who get divorced. number 2) all those boy scouts who burn old flags as a service to us will go to prison, now. why are we moving backwards on civil rights, freedom of speech, not to mention world peace? is it not 2006?

had a good long weekend. lots of house projects progress. leisurely ride with bh, yesterday. awesome. running easy with marie this morning as she DOMINATED her age group and the masters' age group at cap tex yesterday. we got to sleep a little late, today.

have my regular work day of clients today. 8 hours. it's not too bad broken into 2 halves.

voters

the same cuckoos who elected GWB must have called in and voted on American Idol this year.
I reiterate that Elliot Yamin is awesome and by FAR the best vocalist on all 5 seasons of the show. I have watched at least 20 minutes of each season. this season I saw quite a few. Elliot was awesome on the Burt Bacharach medley of the finale.
at least the girl was hot. the guy that won, can't sing, is a goob, and is nc (not cute).
possibly one of the darker moments in American history.

good news is I got subjects for my diss study!!!
it's a secret, I guess. now, all I need is IRB approval, do the pilot, and present to my committee. that's it.

crack

happy bday, TH!!!

last week coach steve kept asking me if we were staying on the intervals he gave us. I kept saying yes. then I said I always stay on them unless you go crazy. there was a crazy kick set shortly after that.
today, more craziness. I said we needed to get the crack out of steve's coffee. I am not sure he knew what I meant.

WU 300 fr/dr/fr/kk on 6:30 no fins. yeah, came in at 6:45 on the first one and 6:5x on the second. drilling & kicking with no fins during warm up = extremely slow.

12x50 kk (on :60 desc 1-3, 4=3 pace, 5 ez, 6 all out. x 2)
200 ez swim

3x(3x50 on :50, 1x100 on 1:50, 4x50 on 1:30 coming in at :45). first 50 was :47 - as fast as I have ever gone. slowest was :52 which would be WAY over the interval. most were :50 which is NO rest. I think he forgot the pool was 25m or possibly forgot who marie and I were.
250 ez swim

2x(3x100 on 1:45, 2x100 on 1:50, 1x100 on 1:45 pull). totally doable. he said that was not the right answer. ?

12x50 kk (1-3 on :70 at :45, 4 ez, 5-6 on :50 at :40 x 2)
CD 150 ez
=5000 m. tired.

I lifted weights yesterday, too, so I can't lift my arms very well right now.
there was a cuckoo at the j yesterday. I figured he must have ptsd from wwII pacific front. doesn't really give him an excuse to be a total asshole, though.
got lots done on monday. hoping to repeat.
thinking about how to seriously relax this weekend. I think we should start by sleeping in on monday. whoa.

bummer

spurs lost. duncan had career high 41 points. what else can you do?
dreamed I was going to be working at cvs a few shifts a week. the only good thing was Neil Walker was also going to be working there, and also right outside was the ocean, so you could swim on your 2-5 minute breaks - in a 5 hour shift.
yeah, weird. he hadn't told everyone about his gold medals, yet. he just told them he had been a mahogany salesman for the past 4 years and was really advancing in the company.
getting ready to run at the track with marie. trying to get some coffee working.

resting

ONLY swam 3000 this morning. Felt like going home and taking a nap after my clients this morning, but instead went to Steve's. He took pity on me and didn't kill me. Dr. B asked me if I was training for 2008. That was a good one. I guess not, now.
Tried to do my own thing and relax this weekend with minimal success. Did make it to a meeting in the other room. Finally, a good meeting!!! The topic was detaching. Wow. I shared. Now, how to apply it really life.
Speaking of application. At my office today. Blindly stumbling through SPSS. It is funny how all those stats classes really don't help at all with actual data. Maybe funny is the wrong word. This SEM class is supposed to be applied, so I hope I can learn how to do it. If only I had some subjects from which to collect data and apply it.

GO, SPURS!!!

#2 Elliot Yamin is the best singer American Idol has ever had. Versatile, doesn't over sing, beautiful timbre. As if Debbie Gibson having the number 1 album in the US wasn't proof enough that we, as Americans, have TERRIBLE taste.
Just discovered Michael Bublé. Whoa. Hot and a gorgeous voice. Better than Harry Connick because he puts modern intonations on those standards. He is already super popular in Canada, Europe, and Australia. Well, at least the Beatles caught on here. OK, off to swim at Barton. Trying to get some coffee in me because last week I had to take a mid-swim bathroom break. It is really hard to get a wet wetsuit back on, FYI.

immigration

I guess W got out of taking American history at Yale. Has he completely forgotten that every person who came to this country for all intents and purposes immigrated? We stole this land from the Indians by brute force. Brought other immigrants over by brute force, and now we are talking about building a fence, wasting more money on national guard troops. Although the rest of the world prohibits us from emigrating away, we, of all countries, should let anyone who wants to, come here. Did you see the SNL skit with Al Gore? He bugged me, but the skit is funny. I heard Ira Glass ragging on Kerry. Kerry was not wishy washy. Intelligent humans who form an opinion based on information often change their their minds based on new information. Ga.

in your face

I don't know to whom I would say in your face, exactly, but I got the evaluations from my aerobics classes, and I just want to say, "in your face."
3. The instructor provides modifications/options for exercise
• she is very very good and precise in her instruction
• she also asks who has what type of injury, then streamlines exercises for those people.

4. Adequate safety and alignment cues are given throughout the class?
• Meredith is one of the few instructors that does this.
• very strong at this.

7. The class is well organized and flows smoothly
• very streamlined and focused

12. Overall instruction provided by this instructor
• Meredith is awesome as well!

Although I think I do a good job, it never gets old being told you are "awesome."
Just wanted to toot the horn a little bit.
Toot!

sleepy

slept until 6:45 today! yes, it was similar to a teenager. I was supposed to swim, but I think I am going to ride inside easy and watch some er. did you know er is on at 3 pm weekdays? I have been taping it this week.
found an AWESOME website the college of engineering puts up that designs web surveys for you. it was like discovering the wheel yesterday. I think I will do another exercise dependence survey online. surely I can get all those tri geeks to fill it out for me. I thought about an incentive drawing. any ideas? maybe a jack and adam's gift certificate.
saw my pt yesterday. she wants me to try to quit sticking my butt out. it's funny. I did leg press on tuesday, 3x12@ 300 lbs. but, I can't sit down and stand up without over-arching my back. well, I can, but I was sweating doing it. I do keep my belly button pulled in when I do leg press, but I guess it is different. so one of my new exercises is body weight squats keeping my spine in neutral. I always thought I just had a little sista in me. I can't dance, but I can feel the 2 and the 4.
feeling better about the rec sports thing. it is always better to sleep on things. ALWAYS. 24 hour rule. yesterday I was angry and hurt. today, I just feel a little bummed.
brad and I did our really fun thing. it was fun for me. got some insight. oddly, it was a big epiphany about why I am the way I am. I think this is a good jumping off place, but not the end. yes, it is very helpful to know WHY I am the way I am, but the main thing is to heal, and to learn HOW TO DO IT DIFFERENTLY. I feel hopeful I can and we can.
off to enjoy a little george clooney.

reframing

supposed to meet with a professor today. I guess he forgot. went up to his office, not there. emailed, no response.
the upside is that it got me up to school. here I am in my office working hard on my blog, organizing my desk, and checking email. (I did get some real work done, too.)
irritated with rec sports. I religiously attended the required cont ed meetings for 3 years. I didn't go this spring because I finally decided to break away in the fall. now, the requirement is supposedly semester by semester, not year by year. so, I will not be subbing there this summer. mother had a spiritual spin to view it as a gift. it's just one of those "I'm not fired, I quit" kind of things. I guess that's the root. e g o. and feeling a little underappreciated. I did an awesome job for them for 3 years, and to say goodbye, they sent me an email saying I would not be back in the fall. anyway, it's dumb. I just thought writing it down might remove it from my head. out out darn spot.

think I should do another exercise dependence study with a couple of different scales. could have run this by the professor who wasn't there. definitely going to use scantron this time!

swam 5000m again this morning. now, I don't want to do anything other than 5000m
the main set was pretty good.
WU 300 fr/dr/fr
400 frkk/bkkk x 50's fins
6x100 pull last 25 build on 2:00

I. 5x(2x100 on 2:10. 200 fast on 4:00). I was happy my 200's were around 3:20. that is fast for me.
II. 3x(3x50 kk desc 1-3 on :60, 2x25 ez kk on :40, 3x50 all out on 1:30)

CD 400 IM dr/sw by 25's
250 pull (the extra 50 was my idea. who could swim 4950? not mr. monk!)

headed to pt this afternoon. fib feels good today. point 4 on a 1 to 10 scale of pain. I just BARELY notice it's there. brad and I are doing something fun, too. sore from lifting weights yesterday. I was happy I could do dips. that was neat.
this morning I was thinking about the movie the life of brian - the song at the end. if jesus can sing "always look on the bright side of life" while being crucified, surely I can get my attitude together. my default prompts are "what about me?" and "this sucks." reprogramming is ongoing.

meant to put this one up last week. I liked it and not too tough. gre outdoors chlorine is screwy. felt itchy and burning on skin when I got out. boo.

WU 400 Fr
300 K
500 Pu
200 Dr

I.200 Fr
4x100 IM
300 Fr
6x75 fly/bk/br
400 Fr
9x50 IMR
500 Fr

II. 3x150 Pu desc 1-3

CD 300 EZK
200 EZ Fr
=5000 yds

got to 22000 m last week. awesome. running SOME. it is hard to not do what I CAN do versus what I SHOULD do. ran some with marie this morning on the track. it was no problem to run pretty fast, but now my fib is a little achy, and a new little irritation emerged in the front of my hip. lateral hip feels fine, though, so maybe that's progress. still loving swimming a lot. I feel like a swimmer. funny.
trying to get things done around the house and RELAX. this is challenging. my brain. not motiviated to do some things that have been waiting for me to do around the house all semester, yet I have a hard time sitting still and/or just being. this morning I tried to think of things i LIKE to do. I like to have a really clean house, and I like to be organized. no, those are not things I like to do, but I am willing to use a means to get to an ends. therefore, the workout post, and cleaning off my home desk.
going to the other room some. I know how to detach in anger and frustration. I have no idea how to detach with love. except maybe from my grandmother, or someone I love who doesn't have a strong emotional attachment.
one of my clients helped me realize all my women friends are very self-sufficient. very interesting. I want the fruits of those relationships, so I know I need to cultivate them. those are places of safety and comfort. where to get my needs met. I have a hard time discerning what is a reasonable expectation and what is crazy. then, the next step is to know that just because it is reasonable doesn't mean that it will be met by one person, or one person in particular.
it is funny how when I dodge growth opportunities they do go away for a while, then they come back. I thought I had already figured out what Meredith likes and what her core values are, what she is willing to live with and what she isn't. this one I didn't dodge, but ironically has reemerged on a new level. things to seek God about.
if life were eating cake all day, I wouldn't need God's help. easy to remember sitting at the computer.
lots of clients today. tomorrow back to school.

on my way to 21000m

took justin to swimming and cdl for his burfday. didn't know you could eat vegetables for breakfast. they were good. we couldn't figure out exactly what kind of "milk" was with the oatmeal. they definitely don't drink real milk.
WU 300 fr, 300 kk

2x(3x25 catch up regular, 3x25 catch up from shoulder, 1x75 catch up from elbow - most like swimming)

I. 3x300 dec 1-3 on 6:30 - this was over a minute rest even on the 1
2x50 ez on 1:15
3x200 all out on 6:00 - this was also tons of rest. steve said go fast
2x50 ez on 1:15
3x300 desc 1-3 same

2x(3x100 kk desc 1-3 :10R, 50 ez, 3x50 desc 1-3)

CD 300 pu, 100 IM

if I swim 3500 yds tomorrow, 5m on friday, and at barton sat I will be at all time high.

walked/ran yesterday. seriously got my speed walk on. ant tibs are SORE. no leg pain by fibula, though.
going to shoot for tomorrow, but not if I can't dorsiflex my feet.

turn down the heater

did I sleep through spring? it is seriously hot outside. I taught coached swim at noon. I was the only one trying to get away from the sun. it's funny how after it's too late people try to protect their skin from the sun. my oldest triathlete was wearing sunscreen at our 6:30 am workout the other morning. it was cute. her skin looks great, though.
definitely going to have to do some reforestation. gave my 20 copies of my revisions to irb. I told the person I gave it to my proposal was about the destruction of the giant sequoia. he didn't think it was funny. the box was kind of sweaty, so maybe that's why he wasn't smiling.
thanks to help from dr miller made some serious progress in spss. now I just need to figure out exactly what procedure I want to use. it's interesting how easily that proposal got by irb when I had NO IDEA what I was doing. now that I do, they are micromanaging me. boo.
ran this morning at the same time marie ran. 5 min on/10 min off. I got some serious power walking in. leg and everything felt great during. I notice it, now, but on a 1-10 pain scale it's barely a 1. I just notice it. of course, the injury recovery schedule I found said do (10 walk/5 run)x2 and I did x4. I know, but I had already run some, so I wasn't really starting from scratch. going to swim at coach steve's in the morning. swimming outside at gre on thursday. then back at coach steve's on friday. if barton is open, supposed to go early on saturday. I am getting my IM on, again. finally I have a granny fly, again. I had lost it briefly.
well, I am going to head home and change out of this sweaty outfit into a different one.

quiet

it is great on campus today. quiet, cool outside, peaceful.
swam at gre outdoors with john.

WU 300 fr/300 kk/300 pu
4x75 fr/dr/fr
4x50 dr/fr
4x25 fr

I. 3x200 IM
300 pu
3x50 kk

2x200 IM
200 pu
2x50 kk

200 IM
100 pu
1x50 kk

CD 200 kk
200 IM ez

=4000 yds
the water was hot!!!
messing around with spss today. going to pt later. brad and I walked at the lake yesterday. I watched the second half of the spurs game and fell asleep. last night brad said he didn't realize he was married to a man. haha. a gay man trapped in a woman's body.

ups and downs

better today. played with spss a little this afternoon. entered grades. swam at the tsc this evening due to storm this morning. got up at 4:30. checked the radar. another one coming. back to bed.
lana left this afternoon. it's funny the way we both have separation anxiety. got to see my bf neil walker at the tsc. I gave him another b&m wedding water bottle to give to his wife. funny. I should give him some to give to his other Olympic gold medalist friends.
it was nice swimming for about an hour, then the governor (splashy mcsplasherstiff) got in next to me, and other people split with me. I am normally fine with splitting, but I was in the middle of a challenging set with a lot of fly. I tried to be nice eventhough I didn't feel nice. I wish I could tell the governor I have democrat tatooed on my left ventricle.
going to swim at barton in the morning with marie and justin. it was open today, so if it's not stormy in the morning we should be good to go. definitely going to a meeting in the other room tomorrow. the other thing I need to work on is on page 69 of my book (the 3rd edition).

WU 300 fr
300 k with fins fr/fly/bk
300 pu
8x75 fr/dr/fr

main set I got off mvm.org
building a 200 IM:
25 fly
50 fly
50 fly/25 bk
50 fly/50 back
50 fly/50 bk/25 br
etc up to 200 IM. it said :15R between each, but I took closer to :20 on most of those long ones.
:60R

then back down but thank God not all those 50 flys, again
200 IM
25 fly/50 bk/50 br/50 fr
50 bk/50 br/50 fr
25 bk/50 br/50
all the way down to 25 fr

there was another main set, but I was pooped.
cd was 300 k, 100 IM ez, 100 fr ez
=3700

ugh. sad

I am sad today. don't know why. maybe combo of mother leaving, classes over, brad is 100 million miles away. I liked these classes ok, but I think if I want to keep in touch with anyone, I will. there are a couple or three people. I feel like I was a spaz with my classes this semester. I guess I freak about all change. yet, I also get bored. trying to get in a place of graitude. there have been a lot of deaths around here lately. not people I knew, but once or twice removed. thank God we all have our health and some of us have our sanity. I guess most of the time I am fairly sane. I played water polo with my 2nd triathlon class. it was challenging and fun. it was funny though, because I didn't call turnover on touching the ball with two hands. the woman who was reffing while I was playing called it on everyone including me. it is hard not to do. I cannot do that egg beater kick, either. guess I need to practice. that is the first time I have ever played after teaching swimming for 4 years. I have really made a lot of progress in my swimming and teaching skills over the years. that is good.
get to go swimming in the morning if a tornado doesn't hit us tonight.

ga

I was feeling sorry for myself yesterday! Feeling more hopeful today. NPR is the great grateful maker.
Have you heard Steven Colberts' speech to WH press dinner? It was pretty awesome. Had a great and challenging swim this morning. 5200m!

WU 300 fr/kk by 50's with fins
300 pu
3x100 fr desc 1-3

4x[4x100 fast :20R, 2x50 ez :10R]
(All were around 1:38-9. That was good for me. We circled.)

100 IM
2x50 fly/fr
200 IM
4x50 bk/fr
400 IM
6x50 br/fr
(400 IM was slow, but not the slowest of all time. Not telling the time!!!)

400 pu ez

8x50 odds ez/build, evens ez/fast
200 ez

balance

I can see, now that I am coming out of the fog of the semester, once again, that I keep myself busy so that I don't feel my feelings. I think that I used to drink over being lonesome. I know I did. I see that I teach aerobics, have clients, teach swimming, teach triathlon class, work on my dissertation, exercise, there certainly must be more, to avoid sitting still.
I think I will try to see how I have made progress in this area rather than beat myself up about there I go again. Step 1 is quitting rec sports. Step 2 is saying no to a volunteer thing. Step 1 is teaching for Don Crowley. OK, fine, but it's only 2 mornings a week for 6 weeks. I do feel less lonesome than in the past end semesters. I think that other people struggle with this phenomenon. Maybe not in the academic year kind of way, but I hear that others work on balance. So, maybe it is one of those things like someone to pray for - something that I need God for. And probably some outside help, which I am getting. Haven't gotten to the other room, yet.

misc

having euphoric recall about being 21 and 22. I was not having a good time looking for the elusive, ephemeral drunken evening. yet, looking at people's facebook pics makes me compare my insides with their outsides. yes, it does look like fun, but I didn't ever have actual fun doing that. yes, it is titilating, but it was not fun to play games and try to be coy in the mating game. being hungover, blacked out, passed out, not fun. I never drank one beer in my entire life. even as a 12 year old. I also "dated" more than one dude. not fun.

swam 4500m this morning.

WU 400 fr/dr/fr/dr
300 pull
200 fr/dr
100 kick
50 fr

11x200
1-5 EZ
6-8 desc
9-10 holding 8 pace
11 all out

11x100 kick same as 200's

CD 150 not free

supposed to storm tonight and tomorrow morning.
we might swim in Barton in the morning if it isn't lightening.
found my buddy jonathan through google. get to meet his SON and visit with him and his wife next week.
wanted to reconnect with my old buddy stewart lupton. maybe I will put that out in the universe, too.

I ran I ran I ran I ran I ran I ran

and I felt good. it was fun. don't know how far. don't know exactly how long it had been. ran/walked with the jcaa tri ladies.
it was fun. I am happy.
yeah!

listening to music

had a yen to hear tom waits tonight. thought about jonathan cole. got to see him about 6 years ago, I guess, in dallas. met his wife whom he met in japan. wonder how he is. he and chesley. chesley and I literally slept together - slept in the same bed. ok, passed out. they came over for dinner one night with amy dreiss when I lived on enfield. I made spanikopita. I slept in chesley's bed another time. I met them through jennifer/grace and luke/curtis. what sophistocated, wild days. chateau neuf du pape or something like that. rolling drum tobacco cigarettes. listening to tom waits. reading henry miller. and eating at les amis. jonathan first told me about gillian welch. funny.
yes, I am up late!!!

too cold!

water was too cold this morning after all that rain. I was a big trooper and hung in for the whole workout. I never really got warm, though.
WU 4x100 Fr last 25 build
4x100 IM Dr Fly and Br

6x50 Fly K on bk arms down fins
6x50 Br Ez/Build
6x50 Bk K fins
6x50 Fr Ez/Build

3x(3x100 Fr descending 1-3, 2x100 Bk/Fr :10R!)
still cold!

CD
3x300 Pu all 5:05
still cold! but not cooled down because I was trying to stay warm.
oh, well

dad has been under the weather big time. I am assuming he is doing better because my mom hasn't called to tell me otherwise!
have clients this morning. going to office this afternoon. motivation=LOW
enjoying the rain. going to a meeting in the "other room" tomorrow. strongly suggested by several people.
I filled out a survey about social support the other day. I realized my jewish mom clients are probably the strongest source of social support because they all know how to talk about their feelings, and they all know how to hear me. they can be very objective because I am not their kid, and they have had lots of therapy. I was kvetching about them kvetching, but I really get a lot more from them than I give. supposed to go to the baseball game tonight. brad didn't seem like he wanted to go. he has a meeting that he doesn't remember what time it starts, and he doesn't know how long it will last. when I asked if he could ask his boss for an estimate of start/stop time, he seemed irritated.
insanity is doing the same things over and over expecting different results. I wish I knew how to do it differently. I am finally in enough discomfort about it that I am willing to try anything.
this semester I have noticed my controlling "tendency" (let's be gentle) with my students. this is somewhat adaptive because it's deep water, danger, etc, but I can see that I have a hard time finding a balance. this is one reason why I think I am afrad to have kids. how will I ever let go and yet still provide guidance. what a hard line to walk.
one client told me about mentoring a kid who has an incarcerated parent. wow. there's not much fine tuning, there. just show up and talk and play.

sit down to read this

From what I have heard on the news, I agree with Perry's budget plan.
Increasing cigarette tax, taxing businesses, these sound like the smart ideas of a democrat.
Reforming CPS, giving raises to teachers, again, ideas you would only think a democrat could come up with.
But, no.
I totally disagree with him on gay marriage, the death penalty, funding for prisons. But for the budget, his ideas make sense.
I know, it's weird.
Other reasonable Republicans: John McCain.
Yes, that is the end of the list.

circling

got in 5000m this morning. we circled. I am liking it. I am the middle speed. Chris is faster and Scott is slower. Scott is a sprinter, but is nice and let's me go 2nd even on the short stuff. Mark broke his collar bone.
I am REALLY feeling apprehensive about riding outside.

got to eat at Frank & Angie's with Stacy and Steve last night. they are both really liking their jobs. that is great news. I was anticipating more good news, but not yet....:)

students turned in nutrition lab. I am always amused by the alcohol consumption. amateurs. or underreporting. one person didn't underreport. I think I still could have drunk him under the table in the old days. all we need to find out is a keg of shiner and a time machine. thanks be to God I don't have to be 23 and under ever again.

WU 400 free
400 K fins
300 pu

I. 8x[(200)(100)(50)(25) in a row = all the 200's first, then all the 100's...] R:15 btwn the 8's, 2:00 between each leg. 1-2 moderately fast, 3-4 faster, 5-6=all out, 7-8 easy.
(effort level increased, but my 25's didn't change time much. that was funny.

II. 12x50 K fins. 1-3, 7-9 EZ/build, 4-6, 10-12 EZ fast

CD 300 EZ Pu

weezer

mac OS 10.4 has this feature called the wizzard. because brad is obsessed with weezer, I started calling it the weezer. last night we were having dueling weezers to see who had found cooler ones. he definitely had - a weather radar won. there is one that has a daily bible verse. I clicked on it and it was the verse that says that husbands should love their wives because it is similiar to the way jesus loved the church... so, I read that to brad. bible church goer that he is comes back with the one that says wives should submit to the husbands - that's the next verse. funny. good one, bh.
up early this morning. no reason. glad the tstorms passed so I can swim outside.
I swam on monday at the tsc. I was happy I stayed in the water as long as I intended and got a good workout. it was less hectic than trying to rush down to lc in between clients and teaching, so I think I will do that for the rest of the semester - about 2 weeks, I think!

attitude

things to be grateful for:
light holiday traffic
awesome parking spot due to holiday
no clients due to holiday
my own office with mood lighting and my own thermostat
all day npr on wbur
had a great swim

challenges:
construction noise!
MS Word/formatting this $%^& application

swim was
WU: 200 free
500 K with fins
200 dr/br

2x (100 fast, 100 mod, :20R. 2x50 EZ, :10R, 3x200 descending 1-3. 3 is all-out :20R) :30R between whole sets

8x50 fly K on back arms down, fins
6x50 br
4x50 free all out

CD: 2x300 pu dps
100 EZ
=4300

taking my guitar in to get it to play the correct notes all the way up and down the neck. don't know if that's possible, but worth a shot.
going to work until 4ish.
riding with marie in the morning. I hope she doesn't kill me. surely it won't be harder than riding with BRAD.

stolen

"When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him.
The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born.
Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt.
I am the Lord your God." - Leviticus 19:33-34

I stole this from another blog. It's a good one.

passover

Terry Gross had a duo on yesterday called "What I like about Jew." It was funny. They wrote a song that summarizes the Seder. "They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat." We are not going to an official Seder this year, but I would like to have one at home. I am hoping I can find the ceremony online as well as the recipes. I'm not going to make the gefilte fish, but I will make some haroset and matzah ball soup. Mmm.
Swam this morning.
WU 200 free
400 fly kick on back arms down/free kick x 100's fins
200 pull
8x50 free kick EZ down, fast back

3x400 pull. :20 R There were 4 of us in the lane. Mine were all under 6:30. Group pressure, I guess
8x100 Fr with fins EZ/Build/EZ/Fast x 25's. :20R

300 IM
2 x 100 Fr
200 IM
2 x 100 Fr
100 IM
2 x 100 Fr
R:15! Ugh after the 300 IM

CD 150 Kick with Fins Bk/Fr/Bk
150 Swim with Fins Bk/Fr/Bk
100 EZ
=4800

Shoulder is a little irritated. Not going to swim tomorrow or Saturday, so I am not shooting to top the distance record, yet.
Saw a PBS thing on China last night. Really felt grateful that we can talk bad about our government and that they hear us, even through eavesdropping. As corrupt as it may be, we have it REALLY good. That is not an excuse to become complacent, but I also think I need to sit in a place of gratitude! Going to try to get some work done this afternoon after I teach and make myself stay until 7 to go to the Alderson lecture. I will not be wearing business attire. Oh, well.

saturday

swam 19,600 m this week. that is by far an all time high. I would guess that is close to an Olympian's daily workouts. 2x/day @ 10,000 m a time. the only other thing I did was ride about 40 miles, though. and teach 2 body sculpt classes.
went to part of the water polo tournament after swimming and riding this morning. team crush is back on. o, to be a piece of lettuce in a water polo team sandwich.
tomorrow is long day at the j. the spinning trouble maker has been at it with a vengeance. she is seriously getting prayed for.

http://amarillo.com/stories/040406/opi_4349180.shtml

A reasonable op ed from the amarillo paper.

yards are shorter

swam at gregory this morning. yards are shorter than meters. fast 100 free was 1:24. Still not 1:17. I have no idea how I ever did that. It was at the TSC with Justin pacing me. He was in the other lane, though - I wasn't drafting. I think I could have gone a second or two faster today, but not 7! Fast 100 IM was 1:39. It was extremely pleasant in there until about 7 am when everyone started coming in. I had seeded myself in the medium lane when I was the only one in the pool at 6. I figured that was not correct for gregory, but my paradigm is that I am medium.
DRC sent IRB to actual IRB so that I may get on the April docket. I didn't know I needed to provide IRB with 20 copies of my proposal. I just happened to email the DRChair and asked if there was anything else I needed to do now that she sent it through. It is very interesting, this whole thing. The NIH/OSP/IRB triumverate is an ironcurtain of red tape. Welcome to a life in academia. Are you ready? Go.
I plan on riding my trainer when I get home. Coach Steve told me swimming will help my running while I can't run. While I don't exactly believe that, I am really enjoying swimming right now, so I am going with it. Hopefully my lats will get huge.
800 IM

swim workout this morning. challenging. so challenging that I didn't quite make all the intervals.

WU 200 free
400 K fins
3x100 IM on :10R

4x100 on 2:00 fast turns
4x100 on 1:55 fast from flags
4x100 on 1:50 last 25 fast
4x100 on 1:45 strong/fast x 50's
all free. staying on the interval. the last 4 were essentially a 400 free as fast as I could go at that point

4x200 IM :30R

6x50 fly K on back arms down fins
6x50 breast K
6x50 back K fins
all on :10R

CD 400 pull, 100 choice.
=4700

Went back to the chiropractor this morning. It is funny the people I tell I am going either have a strong, categorical opposition to chiropractors, or they love this particular one because he helped them so much. He, himself was in a bike accident that almost killed him, almost lost his leg. Now he rides again and has won big races. Wow. No more complaining about 3 more weeks off running!

happy bday, lana!

my mom is one of 5 or 6 people who reads my blog, so shout out to her. holla. happy birthday. 49. wow. teenage mom. that must have been rough.
and today is 4/5/6. at 1:02:03 am and pm it is 123456 today. whoa.

woke up WAY too early this morning. no reason. didn't get much done. balanced the quicken. made myself a latté. unfortunately, while my new starbucks latté maker does make drinks that taste just like the one I like from starbucks, it sounds like a freight train is coming in the kitchen for about 5 minutes that it takes to steam the milk. 3 days in a row brad has been amicable about it. unlike me who gets irritated when he doesn't put the towel/sound barrier up to muffle rockit's 4 am wakeup calls on the weekends. no, even I don't like to get up at 4 am on the weekends.

went back to the chiropractor yesterday. saw the life-size xrays of me from head to below my knees. it looked like it was a wonder I was standing upright at all. several noticable curves in my spine from the frontal view, and my cervical curve is not really there, lumbar curve is huge. pelvis is tilted and rotated. seems to make sense why I might have problems. but, why now, I guess is the question that can't be answered. he did the "adjustment" which took about 5 seconds. he likened it to unscrewing a rusty bolt - we have to do a little at a time. the thing he is trying to fix is at my sacroilliac joint. funny that the night before I was having pain there and had forgot to tell him that I sometimes do have pain there. anyway, I had some doubts, but his knowledge and sensibility have won me over so far. in three weeks I am going to pt for "unloaded" running - they can harness you into a treadmill and have you just bear 1/2 or more of your body weight. pretty neat.
meanwhile, I am swimming a lot, and biking some. I think I will be ok not running 3 more weeks. just going to be SO grateful when I can run, again. before the injury, I was trying to be mindful of being grateful that not only do I have 4 limbs that work well, but I can do all the activities in life that I want to do. this is truly a minor setback. I don't think I have been too whiny, so far, but I want to continue as such.
re: the starbucks machine. brad said, do you really think starbucks would sell a home machine that makes drinks exactly like the ones the sell in the store? I said yes, because people are lazy. he said people? I said yes, and people does not include me. of course.

did I mention I don't like to save daylight?

Made myself get up a little earlier than necessary today to try to ease into this thing. It was hard.
Rode to Kyle yesterday. It was essentially 30 miles hard, 30 miles easy. Very windy from the south on the way down. I was pooped when we got home.
I am very happy I don't teach at the J this morning. Last week I had a little epiphany during class that it's like Groundhog Day (the movie). You get to have the exact same experiences over and over so that you may be your best at them. I also think taking breaks is good. I was more patient with the tri ladies last week. I hope my patience continues to grow. I guess I have identified my pet peeve in life. I am explaining something, someone is talking to their neighbor instead of listening, someone asks me a question that I have already answered had they been listening the first time. Why does this make me homicidal? Well, I guess that's my problem. Take breaks! 18-60 year olds do it, so there is no escape. Must adapt!
I am going to ride the trainer this morning and watch my taped Thursday night TV. BTF. I don't have to leave until 10:10 am. Whoo hoo!

spring forward=boo

I used to hate it because in the bars it meant an hour less of drinking. Now, I hate it because it means it's harder to get up at o'dark hundred. Oh, someday, Arizona....
Got letters composed to 4 "randomly chosen" HS's today, and little packets of solicitation.
Went to a chiropractor to help me with my detective work regarding the stress fracture. He took several xrays and is going to "study them and take measurements" before I see him again next week. Seems very reasonable. I liked him. I wonder, however, if I will start glowing in the dark. I have been irradiated a lot in the past couple of months. He told me not to run for THREE MORE WEEKS. I think I will need therapy for that. 5 weeks flew by. No problem. These past 5 days have lasted forever. My swimming is going well, however. I am going to ride outside tomorow. Whoa.

WU: 100 FR
300 DR
300 K
300 FR

I. 2x(3 x 100 FR on 2:05, 4 x 100 IM :20R, 100 FR all out)
200 DR/Swim

II. 9 x 100 FR on 2:15 descend 1-3. 4-6. 7-9. fastest ones :05 secs slower than all outs. My all outs were 1:38, 1:37. I managed to come in 1:39-1:41 on the fastest. I was very happy with that.

CD: 100 DR
200 IM K
100 DR
100 FR
=4200

middle ground

I think some people, like Brad, experience life with a middle ground. I am trying to see if I can go there, or even figure out what it looks like. It is a foreign concept to me. I am trying to not judge myself regarding being an extreme extremist, but use Mary's "isn't that interesting?" Indeed.
Wading through the grant app. Does the 25 page max include the biblio? Does it include the questionnaires? Do I include the questionnaires or just cite them?

Had a good, challenging workout this morning.
WU 1000 - free, kick, drill, kick, free x 200's
I. 400IM, 2x200IM, 4x100IM.
100 loosen
II. 3x(4x100 FR on 1:45 holding 1:25's. 50 EZ) with FINS!
100 loosen
III. 4x50 fly kick on back arms down
3x50 back kick streamline
2x50 breast kick
CD 200 EZ
=4400.
My 100 IM's were all under 2:00 with :20R. That was exciting at the end of the other business.

OK, I am withdrawn from CDA. I also cancelled my hotel reservations that had a nonrefundable deposit. I tried to give the hotel woman on the phone a sob story (which is true) that I have a stress fracture and can't run. She, although expressed regret, did not give me back my deposit. I do get some money back from IMNA. I just would like to say, in writing, for the record, that I do not want to do another IMNA race. I will do a mom and pop IM distance like Boerne, but not IMNA. I am going on record. They are too expensive, and they are too assholey if you need to withdraw - like when Brad had to withdraw from IMCA a few years ago. And this time. However, Gulf Coast Half IM is the nicest of all time, and I would do that race, again. (Because I had to withdraw to get a tonsilectomy, and they gladly refunded at least 80% of my money). That was very cool. And I think they are an IMNA race. Buffalo Springs= not nice, IMCA= not nice, IMCDA= not nice, for the record.
Anyway, I feel relieved, so I am thinking I made the right decision. 400 IM and 5k running races, here I come.

ncaa's

hard to find news about the ncaa swimming champs going on concurrently with basketball. Peter Vanderkaay broke Tom Dolan's long-standing American/NCAA record in 500 free. and Phelps' new 200 IM American record didn't last long - Ryan Lochte of FLA broke it by nearly a second. PVK is a facebook friend. talked with my former facebook friend Aaron Peirsol yesterday. he decided facebook was too addictive, so he took himself off it.

ok, tackling the grant app this afternoon!

thinking

Seriously thinking about withdrawing from IMCDA. #1 I don't feel like doing a 4-6 hour ride every Saturday. #2 if I take summer school, it will be hard to get to Idaho and back in a short amount of time, plus the fatigue, etc. #3 I can't start running for another week and need to work up to a long run of 20 miles in less than 4 months. #4 it feels like a have to and not a get to. #5 I can spend my lump however I want to, and if it means in another couple of years I want to do another one, I could. This is not the last possible IM I can ever do, and even if it is, I have completed 2 and 3/4, and it is not related to my value as a person to do a sub 12 hour IM. I have several PR's with which I am happy. Those can be enough. I am seriously an addict. One is too many and 1000 are never enough. I think that is true with everything in my life.

Pros are: #1 Marie is doing it, and it would be fun to train with her. #2 if I end up training with her, I know myself, and I will want to do the race. #3 I will lose some money from the entry and possibly the hotel. That is not really a pro, but a reason not to withdraw. #4 I will feel like a little bit of a loser that I said I was going to do it, and now I don't want to. That is a silly reason to do it.

I have actually been unimpulsive in considering this. I was going to wait until I saw the doc in a week, but now I want to resolve it, and move forward. I have slept on it many nights. Last night I dreamed I had an affair with Slade Cleaves. Why? In the dream, I thought, oh no, I really don't want to do that. That was good. I am go glad my subconscious has a conscience. At least it feels guilt, even if it doesn't prevent behavior. In the dream I was telling him how I got to play with Ron Wood from the Rolling Stones when I was 18. Wow. That part would have been cool.

I killed 2 giant sequoias for no reason by turning in 4 copies of my proposal to the HED secretary. You are not supposed to give her your actual proposal; you are supposed to give her your IRB proposal. Duh. This is a much shorter document. I feel like an idiot. Oh, well. Lesson learned. Maybe this experience will benefit others - I think she has told several people that is what I did. Yes, I see that it is funny. It is a virtue to laugh at oneself. OK, I am laughing!

workout

WU 200 free
2 x 100 IM
200 pull
2 x 100 IM
200 kick with fins on back

2 x 25 fly :05R
4 x 50 back :10R
6 x100 breast :15R
8 x 200 free, descending 1-3, 5-7, 4 and 8 are easy :20R

12 x 50 breast kick :10R

300 back/drill/back
50 ez free
=4600 it was fun and challenging.

200's were about same both times through. Funny, I don't have a faster than about 1:45/100m pace. With tons of rest, I can get it down closer to 1:35, but I guess the good news is, it doesn't get much slower, even for 500.



HED secretary says IRB will not take 3-4 months. Decided to take SEM this summer. Ugh. But maybe it will make me a better researcher. Afterall, my whole study is self-report survey data. The work is in the analysis and interpretation. I want to be able to make conclusions from my results, and I don't want to use procedures that would not be taken seriously.
Using multiple regression to find 3 mediators would shoot type I error through the roof. And who wants that?

irb

turned in my proposal to the irb - along with 4 copies to the hed secretary which I printed out on the printer in my office. that took about 7 years. talked with a classmate today who told me it takes 3-4 MONTHS to get irb approval. stink a link. I am all in writing mode. this is a good thing, but now I feel disappointed that just as the wind was making my tiny ship sail forward, I am docked. I have no idea what that analogy means, but anyway. so, I decided to try to work on an advocacy manuscript to try to get published in a little journal. plus lana is going to have some data for me soon. I just have to make an appt with the stats people so they can help me figure out what the heck the numbers mean. eek.
REALLY enjoying the weather. love cold mornings and cool days. awesome.
about a week and a half left of not running. can't beat that. and with my 400 IM coming back, I have nothing to complain about. speaking of, I certainly enjoyed having a week off from my clients. god bless them, but I needed a break. yes, I really want you to do 3 sets, and I really want you to use that weight, and yes, it is challenging, that is why we are doing it. ugh.

staying in shape

coach steve is making sure I stay in good cv shape while I can't run. my leg is not hurting too much as of today.
only 2 more weeks!

WU 300 free, 200 IM, 300 pull
I. 3x(400 IM, 3x100). 1st set of 100s back, 2nd breast, 3rd free
II. 12 x 25 fly with fins :15R. I think I may be faster at fly with fins than free with fins. they took 23 secs. I will have to check that out.
III. 16 x 50 K with fins. 1st 8 - on back fly arms down, 2nd 8 - bk flutter
CD 4,3,2,1 breast drill: 3K, 2K, 3,2,1 swim
50 EZ
=4300.

that's 8550 m + 6000 yds since sunday. =approx 14000 meters. could be an all time weekly high. good job
funny i had a dream last night I swam 300 fly. I got 2nd to Michael Phelps by 1:00. I swam it in 4:00. haha
saw Olympic gold medalist Ian Crocker walking into Moncrief today. he is tall. (and, for the record looks better with clothes off.)

ended up working on my proposal ppt most of the day. I think I am addicted to working on it. I like being in my office! I had planned to watch my gay stories and veg, but I just didn't feel like it. isn't that the weirdest thing? I am also completely addicted to starbucks. I know this is not news, but I am trying to take the first step. facebook addiction is gone. contingent upon the maintenance of my spiritual condition. supposed to rain here a lot this weekend.

feeling dumb

After completing my proposal, I sat down to try to tackle this grant application. I can't believe anyone actually receives money from the federal government. It is an extremely complicated process. Ugh.
I am listening to my organ hymn music. It is calming.
Be careful if you leave the house after dark tomorrow. Amateur night #2 + SXSW = DWI. Actually, probably people who get loaded on St. Patrick's Day do so more regularly than the people who get loaded on NY eve. That's just a guess.
I did like Guiness, myself.

not corroborated

Well, the primary care doc who gave me the prednisone did not concur with my hypothesis that it was related to my stress fracture. I figured he would not because I guess I could sue him. That was not on my mind, but of couse I always want to be right.

Sent my proposal off to IRB. 68 pages - most are double spaced. Making the table of contents was harder than I thought. Apparently there is a way to do it in word, but I couldn't figure it out. Oh, well. Every time I read the thing I make a little change. I figured the IRB won't care if a comma is in the wrong place. Hopefully, I am right. The biblio also gets screwy which I have to go in and fix every time I change something. Oh, well.
I am going to work on that dang grant app tomorrow then try to relax on Friday.

Yesterday, someone from Iran visited meredithlouisemiller.blogspot.com. Hello, there. Welcome.
Hopefully, my advocacy for all things gay, all things democrat, and all things obsessive thinking sat well with him/her. I figure we have exactly the same opinions about GWB.
Oh, speaking of all things gay. I heard a Republican congressman from MA talking about banning gays from adopting because "every child deserves a mother and a father." So, in addition to banning divorce to protect the sanctity of marriage, we should ban divorce especially of parents so that every child may have a mother and a father. Great idea.

a little pissed

I have been a little obsessed with why I have a stress fracture. I ran fewer miles/week than I have ever run for a marathon, I get plenty of calcium, I strength train, regular female processes, etc. I was thinking about the prednisone I took for the sinus infections - 2 rounds, then a shot. Of course, as soon as I started taking it I felt 1 million times better so I continued to train. I just looked up side effects of prednisone - inhibits calcium absorption in small intestine! I don't know exactly what this proves or anything, but I knew I wasn't doing anything cuckoo that would make me get a stress fracture like most people who get them do!
Anyway, I am not feeling very motivated today to work on my proposal. Boo. Going to do it anyway.

woke up

woke up REALLY early this morning. just wide awake. no reason. I went to bed fairly early last night, but nothing ridiculous. night before last I slept great, so I can't complain.
swam at the tsc last night due to coach steve's absence. marie was supposed to come, but didn't. I surprisingly staying in the water for 4000 at 5 pm! I was thinking I was going to be too tired.

WU 600 (300 free, 300 pull)
8x50 K
4x50 drill/swim (I did sculling)
The main set was supposed to be 8x300's - odd's IM, evens free
I did (200 IM on 4:00, then 100 IM on 2:00, then 300 pull on 5:00) x 4. It was challenging.
CD 300 EZ kick
100 IM EZ

Brad and I are seeing a CPA today to do our taxes. I drove nearly 2000 miles to do personal training last year. whoa.
I am not feeling too bummed about the stress fracture. my dad said he knew I had one the second I told them I was hurt. I told him he could have saved my insurance company $500 for the MRI. he said I was too skinny. no woman ever tires of hearing that she is too skinny. I weigh the most I have ever weighed in my whole life. I am lean, because I am not any bigger, but I don't think weight is the problem. plus, I don't have any of the risk factors for the female athlete triad. except maybe we hardly ever eat meat. I guess I need to get my protein eating on. my bones are good, I am regular as clockwork, and I definitely don't have an eating disorder. plus, the fibula is not weight bearing. I don't understand why I got it while we were tapering, however. maybe I'll try to get a dexa sometime. this time last year my t score was above normal. +.3. that's really good FOR SOMEONE MY AGE. ugh.

stress fracture

turns out I do have a stress fracture in my fibula. very rare. no running 3 more weeks. had to walk thru the rehab area of st.david's. didn't feel nearly as sorry for myself!
reflecting on the wedding. there were some antiquated things that made brad and me bristle with antagonism - obey, man is boss, etc. but, overall the wedding and reception were nice. it always surprises me when people get drunk at weddings.
JH and "DH" were staying with us. that was fun. I swam in barton yesterday. had my fastest 400 there - 6:56! that was the first loop weaving thru "swimmers." don't ask me how I did that. ate at casa de luz last night. mmm, vegetables.
working on my proposal today. after talking with another professor I am doing a bit of an overhaul.

more from LA

Went riding this morning. I was paranoid of dogs, so I decided to stick to the driveway to the hotel - 2 miles. I had plans to do this 4 mile loop for a couple of hours. After the 4th time of climbing Alp D'Huez, I decided to come inside and ride the trainer. I looked down and my HR was 186. I felt like I was going to throw up. I thought, that is near my HRmax or maybe that fruit I ate this morning was bad. That IS my HRmax. Although, I got it up to 189 the next time. That's good. I can still get it up. haha
Drove into downtown Many to eat at Subway. It was actually very good. We were going to watch the bball game with Matt, but they had to go on an errand for ferns. Right now the weather is pretty nice. Although, there is a 50% chance of Tstorms later. Hopefully they will come and go or wait. The ceremony is at 5. We are going to head back early in the morning. I woke up at 6 this morning for no reason. Of course that is 1-1:30 later than I usually get up, so I guess I slept in.
So far, Texas looks good in the game. Hope they do well.
Orange tower part deux?

went to Matt's rehearsal dinner. it was very sweet. his family and friends are great. this place is out in the middle of nowhere. we are going for a bike ride tomorrow. I don't want to go very far away due to possibility of dogs.
yes, it's 9:10 and I'm still awake. I might stay up until 10 or even 10:30. partay.
this is Brad and my's first getaway weekend in a LONG time. years? it's good to be away from the routine.
I am looking forward to the ceremony tomorrow.

Ga!

For the record, I don't think the water polo team is gay. I just like thinking of them as being gay.
What could be hotter than dudes rolling around together in the water?
I can't think of many things.
Except two cowboys...


Got to eat lunch with Ben yesterday. He is part of a large, San Antonio contingent that I used to hang out with about 15 years ago!!! Whoa. We talked a little about the old days, but mostly about the new days. He writes grants for non profits. He started a non profit that is now run by someone else. Pretty cool. Oregon banned gay marriage, too. Boo.

I am off to swim with Marie. Coach Steve is not going to be there. I hope we stay in the water.
Then a 6 hour drive to LA. I do love weddings, though.

workout

Here's this morning's workout

WU 300 free, 300 fly kick on back (abs!= ouch)

2x(4x100 IM on :20R, 200 IM on :30R) moderate pace

4x50 FR Pu Ez/Fast on :10R
6x200 FR Pu with last 100 fast on :10R

2x400 IM kick last 50 of each stroke fast :30R

200 Br Dr
200Fly Dr
100 loosen
=4500
tired.

Going to Matt's wedding on Friday. Trying to get my IRB app done and work on that grant app. It's complicated!
Planning on taking one spring break day for QAF videos. I was going to make a photo montage of the water polo team using the soundtrack to Brokeback Mountain, but I don't have a crush on them anymore.

AM records

got to see 2 AM records broken last night. 400 IM TMFOAT by Phelps, who was 13 seconds ahead of 2nd place, and the power quadruplet - Neil Walker, my bff, Peirsol, Crocker, and Hansen - broke the AM record in the 200 medley relay. That was really cool.

my record-long crush is also over. thank God because it was driving me a little cuckoo. apparently, the art of conversation is not borne in men until after age 28 or so. I really felt like I was in HS talking with him yesterday, the unpleasant part of HS. I volunteered for the meet, but didn't have much to do. that was ok after I stopped waiting for some job to do. I talked with every person I knew about 1000 times. I am going to try to stay awake and go again tonight, but I couldn't get to sleep last night, and I got up early to go swim with Marie.

I also saw my facebook friends, Phelps and Sandeno. it was funny when I saw them, I wanted to say hi because they look familiar. but, they don't actually know me, so they didn't recognize me. also saw Jason Leezak, Klete Keller, facebook friend, Tara Kirk, some more UT men. they all look cuter with clothes off.

I was thinking there are a few people with whom I could talk about dirt or nothing, and it would be interesting. Brad, TZ, JH, that's about it. I had a huge crush on TZ at one time. I drove around listening to Dave Matthews at full blast thinking about it. funny. I told Brad about the now defunct crush. and we talked about his crushes, which are awesome - 2 women over 40. one may even be over 50. as I lament about aging, that makes me very hopeful.

here's the workout from this morning. I liked it.
meter pool!

WU 400 free, 400 kick with fins
I. 2 x ( 2x25 scull catch, 2x25 scull finish, 2x25 scull thru pull)
II. 2 x (4x100 free on 2:10 moderate pace for me is 1:48ish, 400 free holding faster 100's pace than on the 100's).
III. 200 IM kick, 6x100 fast kick with fins on 1:45 @ under 1:30, 200 IM kick
CD 200 IM ez
=4000
I was tired. the 100's were slow. my effort was high on the 400's, but only on the second time thru did I get my 100 pace below. I did get the kicks under 1:30, but that was hard. burning legs.

I don't know if you knew this, but facebook is a news source. I was watching kvue last night, and they posted a quote from the woman who found the ricin from her facebook page. So, facebook is not a complete waste of time, but a credible source from which we get our news. FYI.

Also, I am switching to aim.

leg keeps getting better

But is not totally well. I jogged about 10 steps in the hall to the water fountain. Nope.

Well, what I was thinking earlier this week was that at almost 34 years of age, at some point I think it would be lecherous for me to have a crush on a 22 year old. However, physically, I feel 22. I think, I don't know because I was so absolutely miserable and out of it at 22. Mentally, things just get better and better. Clearly, I am still plagued with obsessive thoughts, but I am learning that this is human, and not pathological.

Going to try to volunteer at the short course meet as my birthday present to myself. Also, maybe some waxing and facial. TMI?

I am up at school working on my proposal. I am really getting into it and wonder what I will do when I finish.

Oh, yeah. I am giving up facebook for lent - which starts Thursday - Jesus said it was ok to postpone it.
So, I imagine my blog will be frequently updated.

almost 34

much better

Leg is getting much better.
I keep thinking about it, and I think the main thing is I didn't want to be a big failure because I am supposed to be the teacher who runs fast and has great races. I didn't want to have to tell everyone I didn't start the race, so I started it. Then, I didn't want to have to tell everyone I dnfed, so I kept running beyond the point of injury.
I can swim, now, and ride my trainer with no pain.
I can almost walk normally. It's silly. My hip flexors are on fire from walking weird. My infraspinatus' are starting to recover.
Yes, I am supposed to be working on my proposal right this second.

on account of I am still an addict!

I started to go up to my office yesterday. Pushing the gas pedal and brake was painful, as was walking, and standing on the bum leg. Brad said I looked similar to Jar Jar Binks initiating movement. Yes, very sympathetic. (But, Brad does get huge props for taking us to the race in terrible traffic as well as picking up a weepy and cold MH on Red River.)
Anyway, I called the UT nurse line and they said come in. I did. They did xrays. No stress fracture. That was my biggest fear. They did a blood test for a marker of compartment syndrome, the only other major concern. Nope.
So, they said go see an orthopod today. Meanwhile, I am walking around on crutches. This is extremely challenging. My infraspinatus muscles are extremely fatigued. As are my forearms, etc.
Anyway, glad to have the use of all 4 limbs. Find out what the deal is later this afternoon.
I need to double check the adapted DSMIV diagnostic questions for exercise dependence. I think because I didn't go running today, I am in the clear.

not so great

I was going to say I stunk it up at the marathon, but that is not true. I was running a good pace - 7:45-8:00 for 20 miles. At mile 10 my right leg was hurting. At mile 13 took more ibuprofen. At mile 18 looked for Brad, but didn't see him. Had a little melt down. At mile 20, it was really hurting, so I stopped at the rec sports center and left an unintelligible message on his cell phone. Fortunately I saw one of my swimming students and called Brad again, and he came and picked me up.
The weather was good, I felt good, my quads felt good, I could have kept going except for pain in shin and peroneous muscles.
If it doesn't get better, I will go to doc.
I think it's time to turn the focus back to the 400 IM.
I was thinking I need to see how this experience will benefit others. I had a slew of PR's and great races. Then, a DNF at CDA, then had a medium 5k, a bad 5k, a good 50k, now another DNF. i suppose if it were PR after PR, I wouldn't be mortal, right?

Stewart Smalley/MJ dialogue

When Michael Jordan was awesome he was on SNL with Stewart Smalley (Al Franken).
SS: Michael, when you are shooting baskets and playing basketball, do you ever think, 'there is no way I can shoot this basket. I am a big fraud. I am not good enough. I can't do it.'?
MJ: No

I am totally tapered. I am rested. 3m was easy to run even faster than I am going to run tomorrow. I have enough fuel. I run well in the cold. I am going to go out conservatively, and I do really well when I go out conservatively. (The only time I am ever conservative!!!) I run well downhill, and it's a mostly downhill course.

I was being super negative nelly earlier, but now, I am thinking Olympic gold medal.
Also, now that I can complete the 400 IM, I decided my winter Olympic gold is slalom ski racing.
I am definitely wearing a helmet, though, because I don't want those gates to hit me in the face.
My nose is too pretty.
OK, a little chamomille tea and I am off to bed. 8:15. AWESOME!

maybe not everyone has

"On the 197th birthday of Charles Darwin, ministers at several hundred churches around the country preached Sunday against recent efforts to undermine the theory of evolution, asserting that the opposition many Christians say exists between science and faith is false." from Texas Freedom Network. Good news!

But, I was thinking, maybe not everyone has evolved, e.g. Pat Robertson.

Marathon is Sunday. The right side of my body is not very happy. Maybe from 3M, track, sititng a lot, and the fact that I have been using the left side of my brain so much lately. I am icing, etc. We'll see... Boo. It's supposed to sleet. We'll see.

way to go brazil, seriously

if you don't have cable like we don't, check out jon stewart's monologue on cheney.
http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_daily_show/videos/headlines/index.jhtml

brazil is doing an amazing health ed campaign to coincide with mardi gras.
http://abcnews.go.com/International/Sex/story?id=1594079

ok, haven't figured out how to put in links, but you can cut and paste.

making a lot of progress on my dissertation. I am on a roll, and very energized and excited.

however, I woke up in the middle of the night on sunday worrying about training for the IM. kind of silly. I think I will take a little break after the marathon and regroup.

way to go, dick

Well, I was going to seriously make fun of Dick Cheney, but in fact quail apparently are reluctant to fly away even when flushed. So, the fact that he was bird hunting and shot a person is not that strange, because quail don't fly away like ducks do.
However, I think the idiot thing stands as guilt by association.

as in the shroud of

OK, I know I am not the only one who didn't know where Torino was and was too embarassed to ask.
NBC wanted the locale to sound exotic, so they are calling it Torino as the natives do. In AMERICA we call it Turin. As in the shroud of. No, I don't know where that is, either exactly, like in the toe or in the boot, but I do know it's in Italy.
#2 Did you hear Kelly Clarkson won 2 grammies? Reasons number 101 and 102 why I quit pursuing music as a business. Stink a link. Songs in a can. Yes, she has a nice voice, but egads, the American Idol winner winning grammies? That is the bad news at the bottom of the hill that began with Debbie Gibson having the number one album in the country in the 1990's.
#3 Yeah! It's winter!

freight train

I have decided that beginning writing my dissertation proposal is as hard as starting a freight train. I dragged myself up to school after my clients this morning. First chore, organize the desk. That took a good 30 minutes. I have been working for about 3 hours. I did, I think, find or put out leads on the questionnaires I am going to use. That is good. I have also peed about 3 gallons. Writing makes me thirsty, I guess. Well, I should rephrase that, searching Ebsco etc makes me thirsty. Still, the only words I have written are my research questions. I even bought a printer for my office - amazon.com = great deal. It did not, however, come with a printer cable. I thought that was a little odd. I have plenty at home. I am considering coming up here tomorrow, but I also want to hang out with BH. I have had long days this week and haven't seen him much. We did cuddle during ER last night. The cuddling was awesome, but the episode was SAD. Usually, ER is so funny and light.
Marie and I have a short long run tomorrow. Maybe it was the cortisone shot, but I have been running really well for about 2 weeks. I am going to take credit for it and say it's an accumulation of my training and resting, but maybe it is a performance enhancing drug. OK, back to work.

marathon is on!

We ran our marathon pace today as we bandited 3M. We actually ran about 20 seconds per mile faster than we planned, but felt great. It was easy. This is very good news. I feel very happy and confident about the marathon.
Now, I just have to maintain and taper.
Feeling SO much better sinus-wise, too. I got a cortisone shot on Wednesday, and that fairly immediately made my sinuses feel a LOT better.
I actually wrote the RQ's for my dissertation on Friday. Tomorrow is an afternoon planned for writing!

I think I am going to have to retract my previous statement that Alito is reasonable, and just say that he is an excellent lawyer.

Brad and I spent a good deal of the weekend hunkered down trying to learn how to use Quicken. I am so pleased to announce that Brad has moved away from the dark side of microsoft and over to the side of truth and justice that is apple. So, we are trying to get off MS Money and move to Quicken. It is a daunting task. I worked most of the day yesterday at the J, and Brad cleaned the kitchen. He does a much better job of cleaning than I do because he is very thorough. He excavated the toaster oven so that it looks somewhat fit to eat food from. There was much debris from our stoveless year of cooking in the toaster oven. I did a big cook-off last night of ground turkey and vegetarian chili for the next week or so I hope. We are going to try to reduce our grocery spending. That was one of our largest expenses of last year. TAXES were our largest. Boo.

I am going to try this morning, after my clients to go swim. This has not worked very often. If I don't start exercising within the hour I arise, I don't do it.

Alito

I've been listening to the Alito Senate judiciary committee hearings off and on. Coburn from OK is extremely scary!!!! I hate to say it, but Ted Kennedy is a screwball. And, the other shocker is, from what Alito has said so far, he seems extremely reasonable. All the senators are articulate, but Alito himself is very impressive. Brad pointed out he has been a practicing lawyer and judge for a long time, whereas the senators have been stuck talking with each other for however many years. So, I guess Alito has had some practice. I just wish we knew what he was going to do regarding Roe v Wade. (Go to Coburn's website. NUTJOB). http://coburn.senate.gov/

I asked Stacy what recused meant and she gave me an amusing example. Alito keeps talking about recusing himself from cases, which I gathered from context had something to do with his taking himself off a case, but I knew Stacy could give me a legal description.

"a judge is recused when she is disqualified (or disqualifies herself)
from hearing the case because of self-interest, bias, or prejudice.

for instance, if i were the judge and i was assigned a case in which
you were sued for waking up too early, i'd be recused from the case
because (1) i'm your friend and i'm biased and (2) i am prejudiced
because i am predisposed to think that you are GUILTY. ; )

usually, a judge will recuse him or herself when they know they have
self-interest (maybe they are a major shareholder of a corporation that
is being sued or their father is on the board of directors of a company
that is being sued)."

Speaking of intolerance

Just got an email from a fellow student regarding the Gender and Sexuality Student Center on campus. Some intolerant bozos want to withdraw student funding of the center and require that it be privately funded. If I have to pay for countless things I don't use on campus - all the courts that use balls, all the buildings except Bellmont and Gregory, watering the grass in the middle of the day in the middle of the summer, keeping the classrooms at sub 0 - then the Young Conservatives of Texas can pay their $2 a semester or whatever it is bring peace and harmony to the world, or at least to the UT campus.
It is not a question of morality. That would be like questioning the morality of someone's being black. It is, however, a civil rights issue. Ga!

I need to do a major service project to restore my faith in humanity. Seriously.

I did swim in the new outdoor Gregory pool today. I wore sunscreen on my face and hands, but not the rest of me. I got a little tan. Weird. It is nice. VERY warm - 82˚. I don't know how they keep it that warm in the winter with no cover - maybe by wasting my student fees!!! Anyway, I also taught coached swim and recycled Coach Steve's workout from this morning which was appropriate because the only swimmer I had was a former LCA swimmer who now goes to Texas.

We already sold the Trooper. I took it in to get something fixed and the mechanic had a buyer.

Don't read this if you haven't seen Brokeback Mountain

I just saw it. It was very good. Very sad! Ugh. People had told me how sad it was, but I didn't know it was going to be that sad. Both actors were very good. Heath Leger's accent was awesome the way it sometimes carried an Australian lilt in the twang. Sheesh. So sad. I can't get over it. I was just going to see some mano y mano, I didn't know it would come at such a tragic price. I want to read the short story. I have heard it was based on a true story. Ugh.
I remember when Matthew Sheppard was murdered in Wyoming. It is very difficult for me to believe that that can happen in the world we live in. I am in such an insulated bubble. I don't know what to do to change it. I guess start by being vocal against intolerance. I am extremely intolerant of people who are intolerant. I think this is totally justified. Maybe I am wrong. It seems as though there is an absolute good and many of us know what it is, but many of us do not. I think that 90% of people in the world could agree on this, could they not? I guess not, because the US is divided 30/70 about the war, still, correct? The fact that George Bush could be elected 2x in the US baffles me. I guess we cannot agree. The fact that the state I live in just passed a law that limits civil rights of some of its citizens baffles me. And we are one of several states. How can this be 2006? I guess what not to do is crawl in a hole and bemoan how bad things are. The thing to do is try to change intolerance, one intolerant person at a time. Can we round them up and send them to tolerance camps?

Tim left a few days ago. We pretty much worked on the house, ate, and exercised the whole time he was here. Now, Brad is back at work, and I am working more at the J.
Swam 3 x 400 IM this morning. My effort level increased with each, but my times stayed the same. Oh, well. Last week Steve gave me a pep talk along the lines that I will not swim as fast as I have ever swum every time I get in the water. I guess I know that is true.
We may get to get a new stove - they make restaurant ones that are 34". If we can put one in a residence, it is going to be awesome. I will definitely have to start a catering business to pay for it, however.
Took all my books and articles up to school so that I can do my writing up there. I hope that is going to work and that after having the office to myself for a year, no one will move in.
I am going to watch at LEAST the first half of the Rosebowl tonight. GO, horns!

Today is the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's death. I was reading a pictorial bible book over at Grandmother Crook's house when I found out Lennon had been murdered. She was reading the paper and said, "that rock star died." I am not sure if I knew exactly who the Beatles were, but I remember knowing who he was. She bought me the pictorial bible book because not too long before that, I had quoted my dad to her to tell her there was no God. We had been watching Donny and Marie. She was pretty upset that I thought that (and probably that my dad thought that.) I was just thinking it would be cool to mock tv like Dad did.

Anyway, have my last exam ever today. Woohoo!

Saw some awesome swimming this weekend. Saw Peter Vanderkaay win the mile. It was really beautiful. He didn't kick for about the first 1000, then as the closest guy started to make his move, he started kicking.
Got to see Kaitlin Sandeno, many of the UT Olympians, PVK and some other Michigan badasses. It was really cool.
I get to go to a clinic taught by Neil Walker tomorrow. That is going to be awesome.

Played on Thursday. Several friends came out. It was fun. I enjoyed singing and was surprised at how well my fingers worked. I am going to try to get a gig at that coffee shop inside the Groovy Lube on Guadalupe. They have music.

Brad has redone another window, and I helped a little on one today. That only leaves 3. Awesome.

committee confirmed

Everyone I asked to be on my diss committee said yes. Now, my candidacy application needs to go through a long series of approvals, but I should be good to go.
Got to watch some prelims at the Texas Invite this morning. Saw Ian Crocker and Neil Walker swim 100 fly in the same heat. That was cool. Saw 8 heats of 100 fly. Ouch! And several heats of 500 free. All well under 4:45, many well under 4:30. A couple in the 4:20's. Wow. Faster than I can swim a 50, I think.
I am going to go back on Saturday and watch some prelims and/or finals. Saw Sandeno. Didn't see Phelps this time. He could swim, I guess since Crocker did, but maybe he just wasn't there this morning.
Brad has a cold. I am eating a lot of zinc and vitamin C and trying to get plenty of rest. He doesn't feel bad, but is stuffy.
Only one more week of school. Eek.