Monday, March 24, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Looking for an indoor pool in Austin, TX
I went to the J to swim today. I swam Thursday (82˙) and Friday (80˙), and today the water was 78˙ = a big boo. To some (especially non-swimmers) this difference may sound negligible, but trust me, it is very noticeable. Especially being out of swimming shape, I get way too cold in 78˙ water. I tried 24 hour fitness this afternoon, which I thought would be perfect - it's got great hours, there was no one else swimming, and the water temperature was perfect. However, while I was swimming, 1 guy got in the water 2x after emerging, covered in sweat, from the sauna. EXTREMELY gross. Another guy did the same thing, but did stand under a water shower for about 10 seconds before getting in. It was especially gross because the pool is 3 lanes (small), and the water was salty. I couldn't tell if they didn't use chlorine, or if the saltiness was a result of these chaps' periodic dunking. Either way, I am not going back.
I don't want to get all the UV radiation swimming outside at the J, and I can't seem to get out of bed at 4:30 am to make it there when it opens so I can get back so Brad can go exercise, too. When he gets home, I am too tired and don't feel like swimming. I hate swimming in cold water, and at UT there is no where to park. Isn't this such a sad, luxury problem? Can anyone think of a good indoor pool somewhere near Lamar and 53rd St?
Lifetime fitness at 620 x Parmer has an indoor pool, but that is pretty damn far. Town Lake YMCA has one, but not very easy to get to. Brad and I talked about building a 25m lane in our driveway. Wouldn't that be awesome? We would also have to have a fence surrounding it to make it 4 feet by 26 yards. I also imagine a pool can't butt up to the road, so we might not make 25 meters.
I don't want to get all the UV radiation swimming outside at the J, and I can't seem to get out of bed at 4:30 am to make it there when it opens so I can get back so Brad can go exercise, too. When he gets home, I am too tired and don't feel like swimming. I hate swimming in cold water, and at UT there is no where to park. Isn't this such a sad, luxury problem? Can anyone think of a good indoor pool somewhere near Lamar and 53rd St?
Lifetime fitness at 620 x Parmer has an indoor pool, but that is pretty damn far. Town Lake YMCA has one, but not very easy to get to. Brad and I talked about building a 25m lane in our driveway. Wouldn't that be awesome? We would also have to have a fence surrounding it to make it 4 feet by 26 yards. I also imagine a pool can't butt up to the road, so we might not make 25 meters.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Recent News
China is stupid.
I think we should boycott the Olympics. (And the IOC should never have agreed to have them in CHINA.)
Dick Cheney doesn't care what we think. (OK, that's not news, but it happened, again.)
It's flooding in Texas, but not in Austin. TURN AROUND. Don't drown.
The kid is awesome.
I think we should boycott the Olympics. (And the IOC should never have agreed to have them in CHINA.)
Dick Cheney doesn't care what we think. (OK, that's not news, but it happened, again.)
It's flooding in Texas, but not in Austin. TURN AROUND. Don't drown.
The kid is awesome.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
The Year of the Rat
The kid and I share the same Chinese new year zodiac symbol - the rat. 1972 and 2008.
A New Earth
I have never read an Oprah book club book that I know of, but I started reading A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle so I could do her interactive class. It's pretty cool.
A new kind of coach
I am interested in becoming a wellness coach. I think my clients would benefit from this type of consultation. Thoughts?
Best way to change behavior
If you want to lose weight, stop smoking, etc., bet someone you will. The threat of losing money is a great motivator.
Olympic Swimmers at Texas Swim Center
Phelps, Crocker, Hansen, et al. were among swimmers at the TSC this weekend.
Pool records were broken. More world records have been broken at the Lee and Joe Jamail Texas Swim Center than at any other pool in the world.
Pool records were broken. More world records have been broken at the Lee and Joe Jamail Texas Swim Center than at any other pool in the world.
Leading Cause of Mortality in US
The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has continued to identify the leading cause of mortality in the US as cardiovascular disease.
Smoking causes over 400,000 deaths per year in the US. Smoking is the leading preventable cause of death in the US.
Smoking causes over 400,000 deaths per year in the US. Smoking is the leading preventable cause of death in the US.
Daily PA
The American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) has recommendations for physical activity for healthy adults under age 65:
Do moderately intense cardio 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week
Or
Do vigorously intense cardio 20 minutes a day, 3 days a week
And
Do 8-10 strength-training exercises, 8-12 repetitions of each exercise 2x a week.
Do moderately intense cardio 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week
Or
Do vigorously intense cardio 20 minutes a day, 3 days a week
And
Do 8-10 strength-training exercises, 8-12 repetitions of each exercise 2x a week.
Moderate-intensity physical activity means working hard enough to raise your heart rate and break a sweat, yet still being able to carry on a conversation. It should be noted that to lose weight or maintain weight loss, 60 to 90 minutes of physical activity may be necessary. The 30-minute recommendation is for the average healthy adult to maintain health and reduce the risk for chronic disease.
Danskin Triathlon Austin
The Jewish Community Association of Austin is offering the 4th annual training class for the Austin Danskin Triathlon. Here is the weekly training schedule. You do not have to be a member of the JCAA, and it's not too late to sign up for the class.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
TBBOAT 1 week+
The best baby of all time.
He just ate for about 1.5 hours, so, now I am awake and also hungry.
I think I have post partum elation. I think it's well deserved because I had prego depression. That was super stink a link. I feel better physically and mentally than I have in months. Wow.
Also, for the first and only time in my life I finally have the playboy bunny body I have always wanted. Not really that I have always wanted it, but my boobs are huge and I have a little pooch on my belly. It's funny.
He just ate for about 1.5 hours, so, now I am awake and also hungry.
I think I have post partum elation. I think it's well deserved because I had prego depression. That was super stink a link. I feel better physically and mentally than I have in months. Wow.
Also, for the first and only time in my life I finally have the playboy bunny body I have always wanted. Not really that I have always wanted it, but my boobs are huge and I have a little pooch on my belly. It's funny.
Monday, February 04, 2008
2 Cubed = 8
There's a thing he does with his bottom lip that could get him the car for the weekend whenever he wants.
The whole thing is unbelievably incredible, just like everyone says.
FYI "let down" in breast feeding is not bad; it's good. It takes several days to make milk after you give birth.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Having a person
I rode my bike inside this morning and read about half of the Supernanny's book. While I was reading, it occurred to me that we are not having a baby, we are having a person. We made a person who is going to be living with us for at least the next 18 years. And I had thought that we should quickly try to make another one to give him a friend, but at this point, I think he's just going to be lonesome. Not really, but geez, I am starting to freak out, again.
The main thing Supernanny stresses is stay calm during your consistent presentation of the world and its limits. I think this will be very challenging. It is hard to remember, even with adults, that they are not doing it to me, they are just doing it. I also think my new year's resolution of staying in the present is not going to be challenging, because babies need your immediate and present attention. There is no ADD jumping from task to task as usual.
I put together the swing and playpen/bassinet. I had to call the swing tech support 2x. Both women I got on the phone acted like I was really stupid. While I felt stupid, the instruction manual was not very instructional, so I had to call for help. The playpen thing was much easier.
The last thing to install is the car seat. I am glad it looks assembled, though I know putting in the car will be much harder than one would think.
I am really looking forward to this being my last week of swimteam for a while. I hope I become delighted, again, after my hormones calm down. I haven't been delighted by them in a LONG time. I do remember being delighted quite a bit by my Canyon Creek kids. In fact, it was there I entertained the idea of having one of our own. I assume the genetic thing will make it easy to be delighted by Hank. It has always seemed very narcissistic to me to breed. But, the physiological and physical similarities between you and your mate neccessarily and adaptively make it easy to love the kid. If the kid looked nothing like either of you, it would take a lot of magnanimous generosity to be as delighted by him as you would be someone who looks like you. TZ could do it.
I filled out a lot of Hank's baby book. I am sure he will not be interested in it at any point, but I will be, and his wife (or husband) might be.
Headed to pajamas and David Sedaris.
The main thing Supernanny stresses is stay calm during your consistent presentation of the world and its limits. I think this will be very challenging. It is hard to remember, even with adults, that they are not doing it to me, they are just doing it. I also think my new year's resolution of staying in the present is not going to be challenging, because babies need your immediate and present attention. There is no ADD jumping from task to task as usual.
I put together the swing and playpen/bassinet. I had to call the swing tech support 2x. Both women I got on the phone acted like I was really stupid. While I felt stupid, the instruction manual was not very instructional, so I had to call for help. The playpen thing was much easier.
The last thing to install is the car seat. I am glad it looks assembled, though I know putting in the car will be much harder than one would think.
I am really looking forward to this being my last week of swimteam for a while. I hope I become delighted, again, after my hormones calm down. I haven't been delighted by them in a LONG time. I do remember being delighted quite a bit by my Canyon Creek kids. In fact, it was there I entertained the idea of having one of our own. I assume the genetic thing will make it easy to be delighted by Hank. It has always seemed very narcissistic to me to breed. But, the physiological and physical similarities between you and your mate neccessarily and adaptively make it easy to love the kid. If the kid looked nothing like either of you, it would take a lot of magnanimous generosity to be as delighted by him as you would be someone who looks like you. TZ could do it.
I filled out a lot of Hank's baby book. I am sure he will not be interested in it at any point, but I will be, and his wife (or husband) might be.
Headed to pajamas and David Sedaris.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Detach with love
BH came home for lunch yesterday because I was having a hormonal meltdown. It was very sweet.
He can detach with love or possibly indifference from his work. I know the swim team is an opportunity for me to practice for the ultimate challenge. I realized yesterday I do want my child to answer or pay some sort of attention after his name is called once. I do not think I will drop him off at swim team until he is at least in middle school, and even then, I don't think I will routinely drop him off. I also don't think I will take my 6 year old to swim practice outdoors when the outdoor temperature is below 70 or the water is below 79. The little kids actually didn't drive me as buggy as the big kids did, yesterday. BH told me when they were given a track workout of 6x400, they would want to do 10x400 because they thought that would make them faster. Isn't that the goal??? Most of the big kids try to talk me down like it's an auction. I made the mistake of doing it once, so part of that is my fault. Meanwhile, Steve and I have both given several inspirational talks. It's actually not the whole team. It's the boys that whine like little girls. The middle school kids asks if what is next is going home. I say, "Yes, you can always go home. I don't have a gun." I also have been ignoring the questions: Is this set hard? Is this the last thing? What time is it? What time do we get out?
There may be others. It would never occur to me at any age to question my coach in activity I wanted to do. I remember telling the gymnastics coach I was afraid, but I let him talk me into trying. I don't know. I do know the problem is me, and I need to let it go. Do what I can, and let it go.
I have many thank you notes to write on Hank's behalf. I am very grateful his room is setup enough so that he has a place to sleep, eat, and get cleaned up.
He can detach with love or possibly indifference from his work. I know the swim team is an opportunity for me to practice for the ultimate challenge. I realized yesterday I do want my child to answer or pay some sort of attention after his name is called once. I do not think I will drop him off at swim team until he is at least in middle school, and even then, I don't think I will routinely drop him off. I also don't think I will take my 6 year old to swim practice outdoors when the outdoor temperature is below 70 or the water is below 79. The little kids actually didn't drive me as buggy as the big kids did, yesterday. BH told me when they were given a track workout of 6x400, they would want to do 10x400 because they thought that would make them faster. Isn't that the goal??? Most of the big kids try to talk me down like it's an auction. I made the mistake of doing it once, so part of that is my fault. Meanwhile, Steve and I have both given several inspirational talks. It's actually not the whole team. It's the boys that whine like little girls. The middle school kids asks if what is next is going home. I say, "Yes, you can always go home. I don't have a gun." I also have been ignoring the questions: Is this set hard? Is this the last thing? What time is it? What time do we get out?
There may be others. It would never occur to me at any age to question my coach in activity I wanted to do. I remember telling the gymnastics coach I was afraid, but I let him talk me into trying. I don't know. I do know the problem is me, and I need to let it go. Do what I can, and let it go.
I have many thank you notes to write on Hank's behalf. I am very grateful his room is setup enough so that he has a place to sleep, eat, and get cleaned up.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
More naked peeps
I like this lady except for her possible resemblance to me at age 50.
Skeleton Lady
The infamous Spencer. Everyone's drawings of him looked pretty much the same - a rock with arms and legs.
I forget what the orange oil-crayons are called, but this one turned out kind of neat.
Collage
Skeleton Lady
The infamous Spencer. Everyone's drawings of him looked pretty much the same - a rock with arms and legs.
I forget what the orange oil-crayons are called, but this one turned out kind of neat.
Collage
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Name the speaker
"I am the decider. I decide."
Here's a pic around 30-31 weeks.
I am now 34 weeks. WHOA.
Here's a pic around 30-31 weeks.
I am now 34 weeks. WHOA.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
indigent dogs
Small dogs + poodles are the best. Poodles are ugly and snooty, but add them to a cute, small dog and they are awesome. They hardly shed, and they are smart. If you know about an indigent dog, let me know because I don't think Brad would let a dog die in the cold, harsh winter of Austin, TX.
Pomeranian + Poodle = Pomapoo
Papillon + Poodle = Papapoo
Shiz Tsu + Poodle = Shipoo
Yorkie + Poodle = Yorkiepoo
Bichon Frisé +Poodle = Poochon.
Chihuahua + Poodle = Chipoo.
These combos are all 4-8 lb dogs. How much mess could an 8 lb dog possibly make? The cat weighs 14. Brad weighs 150. I think I am currently holding at 159.
Bichon Frisés + tiny dogs are also good because they also hardly shed.
Same for Miniature Schnauzers, but I haven't seen a cute combo with a schnauzer, yet.
Cocker Spaniels are the final low-shed breed, but they are too big for me.
Helen's dog is a paperanian. I didn't notice any stray hairs anywhere in the house, but I think both poms and paps do shed some. But, again, she weighed 5-6 lbs. Her poop was the size of a tootsie roll.
I am extremely hormonal. And, consequently, am still very upset that I only have a 49% vote on the dog. C'est la vie, je suppose. Si triste.
Pomeranian + Poodle = Pomapoo
Papillon + Poodle = Papapoo
Shiz Tsu + Poodle = Shipoo
Yorkie + Poodle = Yorkiepoo
Bichon Frisé +Poodle = Poochon.
Chihuahua + Poodle = Chipoo.
These combos are all 4-8 lb dogs. How much mess could an 8 lb dog possibly make? The cat weighs 14. Brad weighs 150. I think I am currently holding at 159.
Bichon Frisés + tiny dogs are also good because they also hardly shed.
Same for Miniature Schnauzers, but I haven't seen a cute combo with a schnauzer, yet.
Cocker Spaniels are the final low-shed breed, but they are too big for me.
Helen's dog is a paperanian. I didn't notice any stray hairs anywhere in the house, but I think both poms and paps do shed some. But, again, she weighed 5-6 lbs. Her poop was the size of a tootsie roll.
I am extremely hormonal. And, consequently, am still very upset that I only have a 49% vote on the dog. C'est la vie, je suppose. Si triste.
Monday, January 07, 2008
I wanna dog
There was a "song" in Sid and Nancy sung by this yahoo who was trying to pitch a song to Johnny Rotten. The lyrics were, "I wanna job. I wanna job. I wanna good job. I wanna job. I wanna job. I wanna job that pays. I wanna job. I wanna real job - one that satisfies my artistic needs."
Totally random, but that song keeps popping up when I think about a DOG.
Got a lot done yesterday. Took pics of old artwork. When you spend 8 hours+/week drawing naked people, you end up with a lot of drawings of naked people. I like these 2.
Totally random, but that song keeps popping up when I think about a DOG.
Got a lot done yesterday. Took pics of old artwork. When you spend 8 hours+/week drawing naked people, you end up with a lot of drawings of naked people. I like these 2.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Ready
to be able to lie on my back.
for Steve to be back. I was kind of enjoying coaching the whole team, but today I felt pretty exasperated at 2:30 pm after being at the pool since 5:15 am.
to not have a baby poking me in the ribs.
to be over my stuffy nose and sleep in the same room as Brad, again. Poor Brad, sleeping with Archie Bunker must be unpleasant.
This morning it was in the low 20's. I actually have been a LOT colder at the pool before. Today there was no wind, and the water was 81-2˙, which was AWESOME. I am loving swimming, which is good because it's the only PA I am doing.
Resolve to be present, not rush through one task to get to the next.
Carry over resolutions: you can't take it with you, and love and tolerance is our code.
Selling off a lot of my record collection. Surprisingly, many LPs go for $10-200 on Amazon. I was fairly shocked by the variety of punk rock and new wave records listed for sale and the prices they are going for. I listed them all yesterday, and have already sold 4 at a little over $12 a piece. I had to buy $50 worth of shipping supplies, but after these records go, I'll be in the black. I haven't begun to list my rare Sex Pistols collection or some picture disks that did not show up in Amazon's listing.
2 more days without Coach Steve. I think I can handle it, but I also think I am going to bed about 7.
for Steve to be back. I was kind of enjoying coaching the whole team, but today I felt pretty exasperated at 2:30 pm after being at the pool since 5:15 am.
to not have a baby poking me in the ribs.
to be over my stuffy nose and sleep in the same room as Brad, again. Poor Brad, sleeping with Archie Bunker must be unpleasant.
This morning it was in the low 20's. I actually have been a LOT colder at the pool before. Today there was no wind, and the water was 81-2˙, which was AWESOME. I am loving swimming, which is good because it's the only PA I am doing.
Resolve to be present, not rush through one task to get to the next.
Carry over resolutions: you can't take it with you, and love and tolerance is our code.
Selling off a lot of my record collection. Surprisingly, many LPs go for $10-200 on Amazon. I was fairly shocked by the variety of punk rock and new wave records listed for sale and the prices they are going for. I listed them all yesterday, and have already sold 4 at a little over $12 a piece. I had to buy $50 worth of shipping supplies, but after these records go, I'll be in the black. I haven't begun to list my rare Sex Pistols collection or some picture disks that did not show up in Amazon's listing.
2 more days without Coach Steve. I think I can handle it, but I also think I am going to bed about 7.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
- 4˙ F
I was going to walk over to the gym this morning to see my favorite hippie Taoseños, (I guess that is redundant) but it's -4˙F, and I don't feel like it.
I have swum everyday since Monday. That is good enough for a pregnant lady. I imagine we will stop around Amarillo today, and our favorite motel in Amarillo has a workout room.
On Tuesday at the Genoveva Chavez Community Center pool, it was set up as long course - 50 m. I was reminiscing about one of the first times, if not the first, that I swam over 3000 m in the UT pool when it was set up long course. It was with BM. The thing I remember was we did a set of descending 300's, which I thought sounded impossible and too hard. But, we did it. That was neat.
Yesterday, I didn't feel as perky in the pool, but I had swum 4000 yds the day before, etc, and it was the middle of the day. I do so much better when I exercise first thing in the morning. I hope Hank lets me do that.
He moves around a lot especially when I am still - sitting for a while or lying down to sleep! I asked Brad and my mom if that meant he was going to move around all the time when he moves out. They didn't know.
I have had such a relaxing time this week. I think my mom has, too. The only time I really can relax is in a motel. There is nothing to clean; I am not reminded of my to do list (even though I did get a few things on it done, here). I didn't send out Christmas cards. Merry Christmas, everyone! I LOVE being in a motel, watching their cable, exercising, rambling on the internets, eating every once in a while, getting out only to do something fun. I cannot ever reach this level of relaxation at home. Yes, I take naps, yes, I fart around, but I have a lingering guilt that spoils it. I guess I really need to work on that for 2008. Being present and just enjoying the moment. That is what I am able to do on vacation.
I was worried about missing Brad too much because it seems like the oxytocin is going nuts making me want to be with him every second of the day, but I didn't. Just kidding. It was like ripping off a bandaid - a big bandaid over a hairy arm or something. It was painful to separate, but I haven't been crying over missing him the whole time we've been gone. I am enjoying Lana's company. It also helped we had a gorgeous view of Wheeler Peak outside our window - we didn't always have to get out in the -4˙ to enjoy the mountains.
It looks like the ice on the roads will melt today, and we will have fairly smooth sailing. Last year a lot of folks got stuck in the panhandle - in their cars or in a motel in Lubbock. Now, I don't know if I could relax quite as much in a flea bag motel in Lubbock. There is a nice Comfort Inn Heather and James and I stayed in once, however.
My mom keeps talking about bringing 10 month old Hank here next year. I am not so sure about that one.
I wonder if Brad and I can take Hank on our 14ers quest over the next few years. Weighing Brad down with 30-50 pounds of Baby Bjorn would certainly make it easier to keep up with him. Maybe not, though, he adapts quickly to training stimuli.
I hope you all have relaxing holidays. I am going to enjoy the spirit of my family members and try to bring joy while not trying to control the outcome.
Those are good resolutions - be present, bring joy, and let go of the outcome. What an order!
Hey, today I am 12! DUHHHH!!!!!! December 23, 1995. Hello! Thank God and the Universe for my sanity and continuous sobriety. Life certainly is so much better and so much different than I ever could have dreamed. I never thought I would go to graduate school (much less graduate), be a recreational athlete, marry the best husband in the world, and have a son. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and debauchery. I was always seeking an always elusive fun. I can honestly say it was so rarely fun, even though I told myself I was out to have fun. Yes, I may have laughed with friends, but it was with a panic of never being present. Wow. I couldn't have planned this. I was headed for an early sex, drugs, and rock n roll end. I can't even articulate how grateful I am. Someday, I will revisit rock n roll for good and not to an end. I hope Hank doesn't say "aw, Mom" until he's at least 12 or so when I break out the Bob Dylan and Replacements covers.
I have swum everyday since Monday. That is good enough for a pregnant lady. I imagine we will stop around Amarillo today, and our favorite motel in Amarillo has a workout room.
On Tuesday at the Genoveva Chavez Community Center pool, it was set up as long course - 50 m. I was reminiscing about one of the first times, if not the first, that I swam over 3000 m in the UT pool when it was set up long course. It was with BM. The thing I remember was we did a set of descending 300's, which I thought sounded impossible and too hard. But, we did it. That was neat.
Yesterday, I didn't feel as perky in the pool, but I had swum 4000 yds the day before, etc, and it was the middle of the day. I do so much better when I exercise first thing in the morning. I hope Hank lets me do that.
He moves around a lot especially when I am still - sitting for a while or lying down to sleep! I asked Brad and my mom if that meant he was going to move around all the time when he moves out. They didn't know.
I have had such a relaxing time this week. I think my mom has, too. The only time I really can relax is in a motel. There is nothing to clean; I am not reminded of my to do list (even though I did get a few things on it done, here). I didn't send out Christmas cards. Merry Christmas, everyone! I LOVE being in a motel, watching their cable, exercising, rambling on the internets, eating every once in a while, getting out only to do something fun. I cannot ever reach this level of relaxation at home. Yes, I take naps, yes, I fart around, but I have a lingering guilt that spoils it. I guess I really need to work on that for 2008. Being present and just enjoying the moment. That is what I am able to do on vacation.
I was worried about missing Brad too much because it seems like the oxytocin is going nuts making me want to be with him every second of the day, but I didn't. Just kidding. It was like ripping off a bandaid - a big bandaid over a hairy arm or something. It was painful to separate, but I haven't been crying over missing him the whole time we've been gone. I am enjoying Lana's company. It also helped we had a gorgeous view of Wheeler Peak outside our window - we didn't always have to get out in the -4˙ to enjoy the mountains.
It looks like the ice on the roads will melt today, and we will have fairly smooth sailing. Last year a lot of folks got stuck in the panhandle - in their cars or in a motel in Lubbock. Now, I don't know if I could relax quite as much in a flea bag motel in Lubbock. There is a nice Comfort Inn Heather and James and I stayed in once, however.
My mom keeps talking about bringing 10 month old Hank here next year. I am not so sure about that one.
I wonder if Brad and I can take Hank on our 14ers quest over the next few years. Weighing Brad down with 30-50 pounds of Baby Bjorn would certainly make it easier to keep up with him. Maybe not, though, he adapts quickly to training stimuli.
I hope you all have relaxing holidays. I am going to enjoy the spirit of my family members and try to bring joy while not trying to control the outcome.
Those are good resolutions - be present, bring joy, and let go of the outcome. What an order!
Hey, today I am 12! DUHHHH!!!!!! December 23, 1995. Hello! Thank God and the Universe for my sanity and continuous sobriety. Life certainly is so much better and so much different than I ever could have dreamed. I never thought I would go to graduate school (much less graduate), be a recreational athlete, marry the best husband in the world, and have a son. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and debauchery. I was always seeking an always elusive fun. I can honestly say it was so rarely fun, even though I told myself I was out to have fun. Yes, I may have laughed with friends, but it was with a panic of never being present. Wow. I couldn't have planned this. I was headed for an early sex, drugs, and rock n roll end. I can't even articulate how grateful I am. Someday, I will revisit rock n roll for good and not to an end. I hope Hank doesn't say "aw, Mom" until he's at least 12 or so when I break out the Bob Dylan and Replacements covers.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
snow delay
Staying one more night in Taos due to the snow we got yesterday. About 6". It's pretty spectacular. We are having a very relaxing time. I have swum everyday, and I finally don't feel like a slug in the water. Even at 8000 feet.
I have made friends at the pool, too: A urologist who works at the hospital whose best marathon time was Boston in 2:32. And a mom who swam all the way through her pregnancy.
Last night we had an AWESOME dinner at Lambert's. We split a salad and an entreé. It was unbelievably awesome.
I wish I could ski today because it would be awesome up there, but probably not a good idea. Plus, Taos just caved and after years of fighting and finally allowed snow-boarders. Boo! Taos is not good for snow-boarders. If they are going to allow them, they need to make them a special area to keep them away from the skiers.
Feeling a lot better, physically. I have only taken 2 naps the whole time we've been here. Just still eating tums like candy and my fiber pills.
I have made friends at the pool, too: A urologist who works at the hospital whose best marathon time was Boston in 2:32. And a mom who swam all the way through her pregnancy.
Last night we had an AWESOME dinner at Lambert's. We split a salad and an entreé. It was unbelievably awesome.
I wish I could ski today because it would be awesome up there, but probably not a good idea. Plus, Taos just caved and after years of fighting and finally allowed snow-boarders. Boo! Taos is not good for snow-boarders. If they are going to allow them, they need to make them a special area to keep them away from the skiers.
Feeling a lot better, physically. I have only taken 2 naps the whole time we've been here. Just still eating tums like candy and my fiber pills.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Monday, December 10, 2007
nothing new
As requested, I will try to get a pic of BH at 31 weeks. I will get him to take one of me, too. It's hard to put on shoes, now. It just feels like you can't breath very well. And, I get to enjoy food I ate hours ago again and again.
We went to Coach Steve's last night to watch the Patriots with the Natl team. We had a nice time. I ate a concoction of Steve's that was very good, and I can no longer chastise him for killing the bird of peace - a chunk of dove meat, a slice of jalapeño, a dab of cream cheese, all wrapped in a small piece of bacon. He made them and grilled them outside. It was pretty awesome. However, I did experience the retasting phenomenon for several hours later. It was worth it.
We didn't watch the game - partly because the TV area was full of swimmers and partly because we were talking with Steve and his wife about the Bradley childbirth method. I did not know that only 1% of mothers today opt for natural childbirth. Well, I guess more opt for it, but opt out once it starts happening. Coleen said she has a high pain threshold, and she said it was worth it - FOUR times. I have a very low pain threshold. She did tempt me more, however, with what follows birth - the baby and you are totally alert, and you feel awesome. I imagine it's even better than a successful marathon high. Those are better than any drug you can buy, so maybe that's why they decided on 3 more kids. I need to stop harassing Brad about reading the book. Yes, it's called husband-coached childbirth, but I think he feels overwhelmed by other things.
BH redid the windows in Hank's room with new trim and touched up all the paint on the walls. It looks very good. I am ready to put everything back in its place now, however. He told me to close the door and pretend it was. I didn't tell him that that was an unhelpful "male" response. I didn't want an alternate solution, I just wanted to be heard - a "female" desire. (I had volunteered to put everything back, myself, I just needed to know the one area he still wanted to paint because I didn't see it.)
I ramble.
This week I plan to get at least some of the things on my Getting Things Done list done. Last week was not very productive, but it was also not dark at all. I started letting Rockit sleep with us after Brad vetoed the dog. He has been a tempting nap companion. Good thing he sleeps over 18 hours a day. Just like me. Not quite.
Sunday LM and I leave for NM for a week. I bought support hose for the car ride. Geez, those things are hard to put on especially when you can't bend at the waist. However, they are VERY sexy.
We went to Coach Steve's last night to watch the Patriots with the Natl team. We had a nice time. I ate a concoction of Steve's that was very good, and I can no longer chastise him for killing the bird of peace - a chunk of dove meat, a slice of jalapeño, a dab of cream cheese, all wrapped in a small piece of bacon. He made them and grilled them outside. It was pretty awesome. However, I did experience the retasting phenomenon for several hours later. It was worth it.
We didn't watch the game - partly because the TV area was full of swimmers and partly because we were talking with Steve and his wife about the Bradley childbirth method. I did not know that only 1% of mothers today opt for natural childbirth. Well, I guess more opt for it, but opt out once it starts happening. Coleen said she has a high pain threshold, and she said it was worth it - FOUR times. I have a very low pain threshold. She did tempt me more, however, with what follows birth - the baby and you are totally alert, and you feel awesome. I imagine it's even better than a successful marathon high. Those are better than any drug you can buy, so maybe that's why they decided on 3 more kids. I need to stop harassing Brad about reading the book. Yes, it's called husband-coached childbirth, but I think he feels overwhelmed by other things.
BH redid the windows in Hank's room with new trim and touched up all the paint on the walls. It looks very good. I am ready to put everything back in its place now, however. He told me to close the door and pretend it was. I didn't tell him that that was an unhelpful "male" response. I didn't want an alternate solution, I just wanted to be heard - a "female" desire. (I had volunteered to put everything back, myself, I just needed to know the one area he still wanted to paint because I didn't see it.)
I ramble.
This week I plan to get at least some of the things on my Getting Things Done list done. Last week was not very productive, but it was also not dark at all. I started letting Rockit sleep with us after Brad vetoed the dog. He has been a tempting nap companion. Good thing he sleeps over 18 hours a day. Just like me. Not quite.
Sunday LM and I leave for NM for a week. I bought support hose for the car ride. Geez, those things are hard to put on especially when you can't bend at the waist. However, they are VERY sexy.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Sunday, December 02, 2007
have to go home
Our stay at Chateau Vue Incroyable/Chienne Mignone ends today. I love staying in hotels and in other people's houses. It is the only time I ever feel completely relaxed. I spent way too long searching for Paperanians to adopt yesterday. As much as I believe in adoption, (of dogs and kids. Hey, we'll get there) Chewy is so close to the perfect dog, I would consider a puppy from a breeder. Now, you know what to get me for Christmas!!!
I did get some work done on my paper this week. (I am supposed to be done by last Friday, but classes don't end until next Friday, so that will be OK.) The Best Times Meet went well. Some best times and great swimming. And, it was over EARLY. Awesome.
I am really glad we only have one more week of school. This semester was harder than when I was taking classes. I had good batches of kids for the most part, I just had a really hard time showing up. Not normal for me. This too shall pass.
Bummed OK beat MO. Now, I don't care about any of the teams in the running for big bowls.
I did get some work done on my paper this week. (I am supposed to be done by last Friday, but classes don't end until next Friday, so that will be OK.) The Best Times Meet went well. Some best times and great swimming. And, it was over EARLY. Awesome.
I am really glad we only have one more week of school. This semester was harder than when I was taking classes. I had good batches of kids for the most part, I just had a really hard time showing up. Not normal for me. This too shall pass.
Bummed OK beat MO. Now, I don't care about any of the teams in the running for big bowls.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
note to self
If you wake a paperanian (pomeranian/papillon) up at 5 am for 4 days in a row, she will want to get up at 5 am on the 5th day, also. She is unbelievably cute. And, Brad loves her, so I think the probability of Hodgkinson dog is now 1%.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Still good = very cool
I like Robert Earl Keen, but I don't like the song that goes "feels so good feeling good, again." BUT, it does! I have felt like myself + nap times since TG. I also feel pleased and satisfied with the current organization of the house. We moved my desk out of Hank's room, Brad painted the china cabinet, Lana made really cute curtains, and except for the mattress, the room is ready for a baby!!!
I think I can go to work - all the jobs - everyday this week. I will start with today, but I am optimistic.
I even made progress on my part of the manuscript I am working on. Whoa.
I get to dog sit for a REALLY cute dog this week. I will try to take a pic.
Bad bowl news for TX, but the women's soccer won their national championships, and volleyball is seeded #1 in their NCAA championship games.
I think I can go to work - all the jobs - everyday this week. I will start with today, but I am optimistic.
I even made progress on my part of the manuscript I am working on. Whoa.
I get to dog sit for a REALLY cute dog this week. I will try to take a pic.
Bad bowl news for TX, but the women's soccer won their national championships, and volleyball is seeded #1 in their NCAA championship games.
Friday, November 23, 2007
VERY GRATEFUL
Had a great Thanksgiving, yesterday. Felt the best I have felt physically and mentally in about 7 months. Brad was very sweet, too. My parents are here, and we are enjoying each others' company. We ate at Luby's around noon. It was very crowded. We got it to go because Brad was afraid we would be sitting ducks for mass murder.
I backed up my computer and reinstalled everything onto my laptop. We moved the kitchen thing that was Brad Mom's that I use as my desk into the kitchen. It looks really good in here. And, the kitchen is where Brad does stuff on his computer all the time, so that is kind of neat. He spent a few hours sanding and painting the china cabinet to go in Hank's room. I get all misty when I think of how lucky Hank is to have Brad as a dad.
The china cabinet looks beautiful painted white with the insides still wood. I will have to take a picture and put it up.
Today, I am about to ride my bike inside, then I have clients at the J just from 8-9, then Brad and I are going to lift weights, then my parents and I are going to eat and possibly walk. Then THE GAME. I don't know what my dad will do during the game. He says he doesn't like football. It will be us women folk teaching Hank (probably erroneously) about football. That's ok. I had a bunch of half-worked NYT crosswords yesterday that my dad and I traded working on. Some were very mean. There was one where several of the clues were numerals, like 90 or 3 or 7. Then the summary clue was "what is held in 90, 3, 7." The answer to the summary was "the shift key," and the numbers were punctuations on a typewriter!!! Very mean.
Speaking of typewriters, Brad likes to watch Kid Nation, and there is nothing else on during that time, so I often end up watching it. Their challenge this week, including some pie ambulation, was to put in chronological order by date of invention these communication devices: tv, radio, phonograph, telegraph, telephone, and typewriter. Of course, some of the kids didn't know what a phonograph was! I thought the typewriter would have been first, but the telegraph was first: telegraph, typewriter, telephone, radio, phonograph, tv. I don't know if I could tell you the order in which digital technology has emerged. I think digital audio tape was the first, or I guess recording directly onto a hard drive, then CD's, then probably digital video tape, then dvd's, then I have no idea the difference between blue ray and whatever the other one is called. I am sure Hank will think we are totally square that we still have an bulky, analog tv, which I plan to have, if it continues to work. I heard we are going to have to get a government-issued converter box in the near future to watch an analog tv signal. I ramble, but I wonder how many folks of our SES do not have cable versus other SES brackets. It seems that on the eaves of every low-rent apartment building there are satelite dishes and cable tv boxes. How do you spell satelite? I have no idea.
OK, onto some video-taped tv shows and my favorite, biking inside!
I backed up my computer and reinstalled everything onto my laptop. We moved the kitchen thing that was Brad Mom's that I use as my desk into the kitchen. It looks really good in here. And, the kitchen is where Brad does stuff on his computer all the time, so that is kind of neat. He spent a few hours sanding and painting the china cabinet to go in Hank's room. I get all misty when I think of how lucky Hank is to have Brad as a dad.
The china cabinet looks beautiful painted white with the insides still wood. I will have to take a picture and put it up.
Today, I am about to ride my bike inside, then I have clients at the J just from 8-9, then Brad and I are going to lift weights, then my parents and I are going to eat and possibly walk. Then THE GAME. I don't know what my dad will do during the game. He says he doesn't like football. It will be us women folk teaching Hank (probably erroneously) about football. That's ok. I had a bunch of half-worked NYT crosswords yesterday that my dad and I traded working on. Some were very mean. There was one where several of the clues were numerals, like 90 or 3 or 7. Then the summary clue was "what is held in 90, 3, 7." The answer to the summary was "the shift key," and the numbers were punctuations on a typewriter!!! Very mean.
Speaking of typewriters, Brad likes to watch Kid Nation, and there is nothing else on during that time, so I often end up watching it. Their challenge this week, including some pie ambulation, was to put in chronological order by date of invention these communication devices: tv, radio, phonograph, telegraph, telephone, and typewriter. Of course, some of the kids didn't know what a phonograph was! I thought the typewriter would have been first, but the telegraph was first: telegraph, typewriter, telephone, radio, phonograph, tv. I don't know if I could tell you the order in which digital technology has emerged. I think digital audio tape was the first, or I guess recording directly onto a hard drive, then CD's, then probably digital video tape, then dvd's, then I have no idea the difference between blue ray and whatever the other one is called. I am sure Hank will think we are totally square that we still have an bulky, analog tv, which I plan to have, if it continues to work. I heard we are going to have to get a government-issued converter box in the near future to watch an analog tv signal. I ramble, but I wonder how many folks of our SES do not have cable versus other SES brackets. It seems that on the eaves of every low-rent apartment building there are satelite dishes and cable tv boxes. How do you spell satelite? I have no idea.
OK, onto some video-taped tv shows and my favorite, biking inside!
Sunday, November 18, 2007
hanging in
Feeling much better now that my neurotransmitters are tuned up.
Happily watched Tech beat OU last night. Sadly watched the ball slip more out of the hands of Michigan than it did of OSU. I may have said this before, but I like watching games where I want someone to lose more than my team to win. It's because it's too painful to watch your team lose, if they lose. But if you want someone else to lose because it would help your team look better, it's no big deal if it doesn't happen. Meanwhile, you get to watch some great football.
During the Michigan game, an architect came over to measure the inside and outside of our house in great detail for the City permits. He sounded like me, a woman, talking about football. He said something along the lines of, " I admire their athleticism and grace, but wouldn't it be nice if our society didn't revere people smashing into each other. What if 80,000 people gathered in a stadium to watch an engineer work and cheered when he came up with something great?" The second part, I am not sure about, but the first part, I definitely agree. Soccer is almost as brutal, a lot more boring, but probably equal or greater than football in terms of athleticism and agility. I do love swimming, and I think it's a great spectator sport. The Texas Invite is coming up Nov 28-Dec 1, FYI.
The architect also told a joke an engineer told him: it's just a little bit harder to communicate with an engineer than it is to communicate with the dead.
I came up with the opening line to my stand-up routine: We went to this Starving Artists' Sale last weekend. It was a real treat. Yeah, we saw a lot of pretty good paintings. We didn't buy anything, though. No, we just brought sandwiches for the artists....
Only 2 days of school this week. 4 days of swim team. Lana and Ernie are visiting. Should be a good week.
Happily watched Tech beat OU last night. Sadly watched the ball slip more out of the hands of Michigan than it did of OSU. I may have said this before, but I like watching games where I want someone to lose more than my team to win. It's because it's too painful to watch your team lose, if they lose. But if you want someone else to lose because it would help your team look better, it's no big deal if it doesn't happen. Meanwhile, you get to watch some great football.
During the Michigan game, an architect came over to measure the inside and outside of our house in great detail for the City permits. He sounded like me, a woman, talking about football. He said something along the lines of, " I admire their athleticism and grace, but wouldn't it be nice if our society didn't revere people smashing into each other. What if 80,000 people gathered in a stadium to watch an engineer work and cheered when he came up with something great?" The second part, I am not sure about, but the first part, I definitely agree. Soccer is almost as brutal, a lot more boring, but probably equal or greater than football in terms of athleticism and agility. I do love swimming, and I think it's a great spectator sport. The Texas Invite is coming up Nov 28-Dec 1, FYI.
The architect also told a joke an engineer told him: it's just a little bit harder to communicate with an engineer than it is to communicate with the dead.
I came up with the opening line to my stand-up routine: We went to this Starving Artists' Sale last weekend. It was a real treat. Yeah, we saw a lot of pretty good paintings. We didn't buy anything, though. No, we just brought sandwiches for the artists....
Only 2 days of school this week. 4 days of swim team. Lana and Ernie are visiting. Should be a good week.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
24 weeks
I am now at 26 weeks, but here's 24 weeks.
You can also see Rockit dashing through.
And, Hank's new sofa.
Gone through a mental rough patch, but feeling better.
Hank is great. Hormones and neurotransmitters have been SCREWY.
I keep thinking about women, like my Grandmother, who picked cotton all the way through pregnancy. And, of course, plenty of women who went through labor out there, too.
I know everyone is different, and giving up beating myself up helped some.
Change in brain chemistry has helped a lot.
Mom has been here, too which has helped.
Today we go to San Antonio, home of the World Champion San Antonio Spurs,
for a LC swim meet.
You can also see Rockit dashing through.
And, Hank's new sofa.
Gone through a mental rough patch, but feeling better.
Hank is great. Hormones and neurotransmitters have been SCREWY.
I keep thinking about women, like my Grandmother, who picked cotton all the way through pregnancy. And, of course, plenty of women who went through labor out there, too.
I know everyone is different, and giving up beating myself up helped some.
Change in brain chemistry has helped a lot.
Mom has been here, too which has helped.
Today we go to San Antonio, home of the World Champion San Antonio Spurs,
for a LC swim meet.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
changes
Changing American standards of "beauty." Sure, I'll buy Dove stuff for that reason.
Short Film
Picture at 21 weeks
Notice the stump. Had to get rid of the pecan tree to make room for Hank.
Short Film
Picture at 21 weeks
Notice the stump. Had to get rid of the pecan tree to make room for Hank.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Up early, quelle surprise!
Le bébé m'a réveillé à 3:30 am, encore.
I am guessing he is getting me ready. However, I hope when he gets me up at 3:30, it's only he who is hungry and not me, too.
I am also guessing there is a long nap in my immediate future.
Got to swim at Steve's, yesterday. It was pretty awesome. I swam about 10 more 100 IM's than I have swum in a while. I am slower. I am cool with it. I can still pull fast. And, I am pretty proud of myself that I have graduated to the big, yellow paddles. There is only one more that is bigger, and only the superfast high school boys use those.
I have a new respect for the Ntl. Teamers. They go to practice at 5:30 am on MWF, then go to school all day, then every afternoon and every Saturday, they practice another 2 hours. I have done 2-a-days, but never of the same event, and never more than a couple of times a week. 3 at the most if you count lifting weights. They do that, too. I think they do dryland 3-4 times/week.
Today is the swimathon. It's essentially a long practice with breakfast and coaches vs them relays. I was a little afraid of the relays at first, but now I saw that they are silly ones. One is a pumpkin relay. I think I will be able to use my water polo skills on that one because I think pumpkins float.
One of the dads talked with me yesterday and was very sweet and encouraging. He acknowledged my job was challenging and said how much his daughter had improved. I don't think I can take credit for her improvement. She is just getting more coordinated with age and being back in a routine of a fairly high volume of swimming for a 6 year old. He said the best way to get little kids to do want you want is to "give them love." He is French. Then, once they like you, they will do whatever you want. That seems to be true. As they have gotten to know me, they do what I say more and more. I am still trying my no response technique when they are whiny. The whining has persisted, however.
Yesterday, a kid who wears a longsleeved sun shirt was supposed to be doing backstroke. Instead, he filled up his shirt with air and very leisurely kicked on his back about halfway down the pool. Inventive. The day before that I told the littlest kids 50 choice to cool down. They always reply with "anything?" and "pop-ups?" I usually say yes, "anything!", and have given up trying to get them to call pop-ups bobs. ("Pop-ups" sounds too Yankee). So, the first kid does bobs down, then gets out at the other end and walks back. He is 5. I look at him and ask if he is ok. He said, yes, you said we could do anything. So, he walked back. Yes, you are right, I did say anything. Of course, the rest of the kids behind him did the same thing he did. They all thought it was hilarious and thought they had really pulled one over on me. I guess that is pretty lovable.
I am guessing he is getting me ready. However, I hope when he gets me up at 3:30, it's only he who is hungry and not me, too.
I am also guessing there is a long nap in my immediate future.
Got to swim at Steve's, yesterday. It was pretty awesome. I swam about 10 more 100 IM's than I have swum in a while. I am slower. I am cool with it. I can still pull fast. And, I am pretty proud of myself that I have graduated to the big, yellow paddles. There is only one more that is bigger, and only the superfast high school boys use those.
I have a new respect for the Ntl. Teamers. They go to practice at 5:30 am on MWF, then go to school all day, then every afternoon and every Saturday, they practice another 2 hours. I have done 2-a-days, but never of the same event, and never more than a couple of times a week. 3 at the most if you count lifting weights. They do that, too. I think they do dryland 3-4 times/week.
Today is the swimathon. It's essentially a long practice with breakfast and coaches vs them relays. I was a little afraid of the relays at first, but now I saw that they are silly ones. One is a pumpkin relay. I think I will be able to use my water polo skills on that one because I think pumpkins float.
One of the dads talked with me yesterday and was very sweet and encouraging. He acknowledged my job was challenging and said how much his daughter had improved. I don't think I can take credit for her improvement. She is just getting more coordinated with age and being back in a routine of a fairly high volume of swimming for a 6 year old. He said the best way to get little kids to do want you want is to "give them love." He is French. Then, once they like you, they will do whatever you want. That seems to be true. As they have gotten to know me, they do what I say more and more. I am still trying my no response technique when they are whiny. The whining has persisted, however.
Yesterday, a kid who wears a longsleeved sun shirt was supposed to be doing backstroke. Instead, he filled up his shirt with air and very leisurely kicked on his back about halfway down the pool. Inventive. The day before that I told the littlest kids 50 choice to cool down. They always reply with "anything?" and "pop-ups?" I usually say yes, "anything!", and have given up trying to get them to call pop-ups bobs. ("Pop-ups" sounds too Yankee). So, the first kid does bobs down, then gets out at the other end and walks back. He is 5. I look at him and ask if he is ok. He said, yes, you said we could do anything. So, he walked back. Yes, you are right, I did say anything. Of course, the rest of the kids behind him did the same thing he did. They all thought it was hilarious and thought they had really pulled one over on me. I guess that is pretty lovable.
Friday, October 05, 2007
good news
It has been cool hearing back from everyone I emailed regarding the future Mr. Hodgkinson. The first person to respond was a guy I lived at Pearl Street Coop with in 1990. We found each other on myspace a few months ago. I think that finding old friends is absolutely the only constructive use of facebook, myspace, etc. I can say I am no longer addicted to either and that is probably the only thing I have ever quit and been able to use in moderation.
Speaking of, I think I have now finally crossed over into looking pregnant and not full of beer. However, even when I was full of beer, I did not have a beer belly. I just had slightly bigger everything. Until a few weeks ago, my maximum weight had been while I was drinking. Now, I am at my lifetime maximum weight. I am totally OK with it. I still feel like my athletic self and am now even more feel connected to the bambino inside. Now, that I know he is a boy, I can even more easily picture getting to know him.
I think it is ideal we are starting with a boy. I know I am going to have a hard time detaching with love and letting the child be himself. I think I will be less likely to project my stuff onto a boy or try to control things I can't control. I think I will be able to guide without suffocating. Of course, we shall see. I think it will also be really cool for Brad. I hope that he can heal a piece of the loss of his dad by being a dad. He is going to be such an awesome dad. I also think I will be able to be totally adult about his attention to a boy. I know no mother intends to be jealous of her daughter and wants the dad to love the daughter, of course. But at least unconsciously, the mom must have a little jealousy toward daddy's little girl.
I guess I will have to let Brad know he is still my favorite guy. Although Brad is the opposite of jealous. I think he would rather not have the attention at all.
Swim team has gone well this week. I have been more calm. The assistant has been gone. He is great and is very helpful. But, I think I have had a better attitude with the kids when I am by myself. As I told Coach Steve, I know it is I who needs to change my perception, not the kids who need to change, per se.
Speaking of, I get to swim at Coach Steve's this morning, then coach the masters. I am giggling about asking Steve if I can go to the bathroom in the middle of practice. Maybe in the middle of a 100 in the middle of the main set. Hilarious. This is, of course, what the kids do. I cannot tell if they are wanting a break, or really have to go. I don't want to risk their peeing in the pool, so I always say yes. I would rather they just tell me, "I have to go to the bathroom." I will tell them that. That way, I know they are ok, not sick, but will be back. If you have to go or even if you have to sneak a break in, I am ok with it.
I am definitely working on my abstract this afternoon!!! I pledge to finish a great draft. Signed, MLMH
PS, Yes, I have awakened every day this week before my alarm and have been hungry!!!
Speaking of, I think I have now finally crossed over into looking pregnant and not full of beer. However, even when I was full of beer, I did not have a beer belly. I just had slightly bigger everything. Until a few weeks ago, my maximum weight had been while I was drinking. Now, I am at my lifetime maximum weight. I am totally OK with it. I still feel like my athletic self and am now even more feel connected to the bambino inside. Now, that I know he is a boy, I can even more easily picture getting to know him.
I think it is ideal we are starting with a boy. I know I am going to have a hard time detaching with love and letting the child be himself. I think I will be less likely to project my stuff onto a boy or try to control things I can't control. I think I will be able to guide without suffocating. Of course, we shall see. I think it will also be really cool for Brad. I hope that he can heal a piece of the loss of his dad by being a dad. He is going to be such an awesome dad. I also think I will be able to be totally adult about his attention to a boy. I know no mother intends to be jealous of her daughter and wants the dad to love the daughter, of course. But at least unconsciously, the mom must have a little jealousy toward daddy's little girl.
I guess I will have to let Brad know he is still my favorite guy. Although Brad is the opposite of jealous. I think he would rather not have the attention at all.
Swim team has gone well this week. I have been more calm. The assistant has been gone. He is great and is very helpful. But, I think I have had a better attitude with the kids when I am by myself. As I told Coach Steve, I know it is I who needs to change my perception, not the kids who need to change, per se.
Speaking of, I get to swim at Coach Steve's this morning, then coach the masters. I am giggling about asking Steve if I can go to the bathroom in the middle of practice. Maybe in the middle of a 100 in the middle of the main set. Hilarious. This is, of course, what the kids do. I cannot tell if they are wanting a break, or really have to go. I don't want to risk their peeing in the pool, so I always say yes. I would rather they just tell me, "I have to go to the bathroom." I will tell them that. That way, I know they are ok, not sick, but will be back. If you have to go or even if you have to sneak a break in, I am ok with it.
I am definitely working on my abstract this afternoon!!! I pledge to finish a great draft. Signed, MLMH
PS, Yes, I have awakened every day this week before my alarm and have been hungry!!!
Monday, October 01, 2007
the baby is hungry
since I had my 48 hours of sleep during the onset of ragweed, the baby has been waking me up about 3 or 4 am to eat. this is kind of an odd feeling. yesterday I didnot go back to sleep, but I did take a nap. I am hoping to get back to sleep today, because I don't particularly have time for a nap. I keep wanting to work on this abstract and have now put it off for 2 weeks. eek.
JH, FYI, my hair is always curly when it's shorter.
2:04:26
JH, FYI, my hair is always curly when it's shorter.
2:04:26
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
the only problem
the only problem with my swim coach job is that I now hate swimming and children.
BH is feeling better but not great. the adaptiveness of his running has become extremely clear to both of us because he has been seriously bummed. Monday night we were watching Ken Burns' War movie and he said, "I'm irritable! Even the PBS guy is irritating me. Not everything is pleasantly interesting!" well, said , BH. poor, darling. he is very frustrated in his job, also. I think we have served each other well in acting as sounding boards. he is also much better at detaching from the results than I am. I going to practice that.
off to boot camp. I now perceive my J ladies and college students as so pleasant and easy-going! there's that silver lining...
BH is feeling better but not great. the adaptiveness of his running has become extremely clear to both of us because he has been seriously bummed. Monday night we were watching Ken Burns' War movie and he said, "I'm irritable! Even the PBS guy is irritating me. Not everything is pleasantly interesting!" well, said , BH. poor, darling. he is very frustrated in his job, also. I think we have served each other well in acting as sounding boards. he is also much better at detaching from the results than I am. I going to practice that.
off to boot camp. I now perceive my J ladies and college students as so pleasant and easy-going! there's that silver lining...
Friday, September 21, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
ok, but bunged-up
BH took a big spill on his bike today. had a flat while riding across the dam on the dam loop - going downhill (probably at about 30 mph!!!) he's scraped and bruised, but ok. didn't his his head, thank God. but, he did hit the cement wall. ouch!!! some good Samaritan cyclists took care of him. I was working at the J. in an extreme act of toughness and self-reliance, he RODE HOME - up the dam and back up to our house. on my way home from the J, I saw he had called but didn't leave a message. I called him back and he was at the ER because his side hurt. very cautious and smart, BH. turns out his side hurts due to bruised ribs. : ( poor darling. his bike is ok. fyi, if I ever were in a bike wreck, and BH was at work, I would call every phone number possible to get him to come and pick me up. he said he didn't think about it.
had our first swim meet at LC, yesterday. the kids did well. it was HOT.
had our first swim meet at LC, yesterday. the kids did well. it was HOT.
Friday, September 14, 2007
no info
Baby's heart is beating great, but we did not get to find out the sex today.
We will find out in 3 weeks.
Trying to get the things done today I didn't get done last post.
Finished Plan B. Started All New People, an earlier novel. When I finish that, Lana sent me Ann LaMott's newest book. Very sweet.
We will find out in 3 weeks.
Trying to get the things done today I didn't get done last post.
Finished Plan B. Started All New People, an earlier novel. When I finish that, Lana sent me Ann LaMott's newest book. Very sweet.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
no reason
been reading Plan B by Ann LaMott. loved Traveling Mercies. this one is also excellent. it got me fervent about continuing to mentor my little gal. however, it also spawned a material desire, for no good reason. I have probably vegged an hour in front of the computer this weekend (which is fine, I need some mindless escape) looking for .25 ct CZ or diamond, round, stud, white gold, screw back earrings. haven't found any that are perfect, plus, I realized this was a gazingus pin the Money or You Life book warned about. I am white knuckling it for now.
decided to pare-down Sundays, more. I am too pooped to teach 2 classes, then have 3-4 hours of clients. I need to call them all and tell them, but who likes calling with bad news!
definitely going to back up my computer today. after this week, it will be a little less hectic until Don's wife has the baby. this week I am continuing to hep the new TA teach swimming. he is very good and doesn't need help, per se, but can use assistance with our procedures, etc.
get to find out if it's Hannah or Hank on Friday!!!
decided to pare-down Sundays, more. I am too pooped to teach 2 classes, then have 3-4 hours of clients. I need to call them all and tell them, but who likes calling with bad news!
definitely going to back up my computer today. after this week, it will be a little less hectic until Don's wife has the baby. this week I am continuing to hep the new TA teach swimming. he is very good and doesn't need help, per se, but can use assistance with our procedures, etc.
get to find out if it's Hannah or Hank on Friday!!!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
some sickos
I was just showing Brad my sitemeter, and our sleuthing determined the biggest hits for the mmblog are ugly baby and kid porn. Both are things to which I have referred, however, the latter was NOT kid porn, but a kid who made a very funny and interesting film for a class project about the Vietnam War that used G-rated scenes from a 70's porn. I don't know what kind of sicko googles kid porn, but I am sure he or she is sorely disappointed to find self-absorbed pontifications that are possibly the antithesis of kid porn. Another hit I sometimes get is the Stuart Smalley - Michael Jordan sketch which is one of my favorite SNL's of all time. But, unfortunately, too, for this internet researcher, the search is futile.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
got to skip week 12
when you get PG, they ask the 1st date of your last period. that date determines your due date. I think it's kind of weird, but I guess not as weird as asking you when you had sex. plus, who knows which time it was. the point of that story is, because our little alien is 7 cm, they said my due date is now 2/19, which puts me closer to 13 weeks. I was hoping for a fellow pisces, but I am sure aquarius and I will get along swimmingly, too. Brad thinks it's shooting a basket, I think it is sculling!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
PID
After I did IMCA, Kathleen W said I would probably get some PID. Why would I get pelvic inflammatory disease? No, post Ironman depression. I did. I had an existential crisis.
I think I am going through a little, now. But nothing like that bout. I don't think completing an IM means anything in terms of my contribution to humanity. Hopefully, my academic research will at least not harm humanity. Possibly, someday, make a nano-contribution to humanity.
I am glad I have a real baby on the way now that my other baby can be abandoned. I was gung-ho to clean out the house and all this stuff, but I don't really feel like doing anything.
I am sure this is normal, and don't worry about me, I am just having a little self-awareness.
I think I am going through a little, now. But nothing like that bout. I don't think completing an IM means anything in terms of my contribution to humanity. Hopefully, my academic research will at least not harm humanity. Possibly, someday, make a nano-contribution to humanity.
I am glad I have a real baby on the way now that my other baby can be abandoned. I was gung-ho to clean out the house and all this stuff, but I don't really feel like doing anything.
I am sure this is normal, and don't worry about me, I am just having a little self-awareness.
done and DONE!!!
I am totally done. I did feel very relieved when I walked out of Brunhilda's office yesterday.
Getting lots done around the house.
Slept all day and all night Sunday, then this morning, woke up early.
I guess I am freaking out a little about getting the nest ready.
Read some of What to Expect During the First Year last night. I didn't know several things about breast feeding. Of course, but there were some surprises.
Go Wednesday for the 12 week. It is a long time to wait.
I think everything must be ok because my boobs are still big, and I can't poop. TMI, I know. But, no one ever told me this was what happened. Just some FYI.
Swam at NW yesterday. It was very hot. But, I did like it better than being too cold.
Getting lots done around the house.
Slept all day and all night Sunday, then this morning, woke up early.
I guess I am freaking out a little about getting the nest ready.
Read some of What to Expect During the First Year last night. I didn't know several things about breast feeding. Of course, but there were some surprises.
Go Wednesday for the 12 week. It is a long time to wait.
I think everything must be ok because my boobs are still big, and I can't poop. TMI, I know. But, no one ever told me this was what happened. Just some FYI.
Swam at NW yesterday. It was very hot. But, I did like it better than being too cold.
Friday, August 10, 2007
finished!!!!!!!!
I have finished my reformatting revisions per the degree auditor at the GS.
Who knew changing the margins from 1" to 1.25" would take 1 million years?
I still do not feel totally done. Not until I schlep it back over to the main bldg, again on Monday and get the format stamp of approval from my friend.
Jesus H. Hodgkinson. I am ready to be done.
I have gotten lots of lifestyle physical activity, lately, including 2 trips to the main bldg from Bellmont, walked to get my allergy shot, and walked to Walgreen's today to get a prescription.
The walk today was especially great because I saw the parakeets by the IM fields.
I also saw a girl, who was not diabetic, buying insulin needles.
I do feel extremely grateful to be alive and to be living the life I am living. How incredible.
I didn't imagine I would be here in 1995. Not even anywhere close.
Wow. I can't put it into words.
Who knew changing the margins from 1" to 1.25" would take 1 million years?
I still do not feel totally done. Not until I schlep it back over to the main bldg, again on Monday and get the format stamp of approval from my friend.
Jesus H. Hodgkinson. I am ready to be done.
I have gotten lots of lifestyle physical activity, lately, including 2 trips to the main bldg from Bellmont, walked to get my allergy shot, and walked to Walgreen's today to get a prescription.
The walk today was especially great because I saw the parakeets by the IM fields.
I also saw a girl, who was not diabetic, buying insulin needles.
I do feel extremely grateful to be alive and to be living the life I am living. How incredible.
I didn't imagine I would be here in 1995. Not even anywhere close.
Wow. I can't put it into words.
Monday, August 06, 2007
FYI
I passed my oral exam for my dissertation.
A couple of things to add.
One kind of big thing I overlooked in the results.
Brad and my parents came, along with Dr. M and Dr. C who were in town by such luck.
Getting it done by Wednesday.
Next Wednesday is my 12-week check-up.
I am not feeling sick at all, just need an afternoon nap. Everyday.
PS I was going to wear my 4" Michael Kors heels with my suit, but I wore my Sas shoes flats from the garage to Bellmont and already had a blister, so I opted for comfort over style.
I do like my swim teacher clothes a LOT better than my professor clothes.
A couple of things to add.
One kind of big thing I overlooked in the results.
Brad and my parents came, along with Dr. M and Dr. C who were in town by such luck.
Getting it done by Wednesday.
Next Wednesday is my 12-week check-up.
I am not feeling sick at all, just need an afternoon nap. Everyday.
PS I was going to wear my 4" Michael Kors heels with my suit, but I wore my Sas shoes flats from the garage to Bellmont and already had a blister, so I opted for comfort over style.
I do like my swim teacher clothes a LOT better than my professor clothes.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
WHITE STRIPES WHITE STRIPES WHITE STRIPES
Sept 16!!!!!!!
The peanut, Brad, and I will get to hear some awesome music!!!
The peanut, Brad, and I will get to hear some awesome music!!!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Top Tens and Elevens
Top Ten Male Vocalists (pop music) of all time:
Chet Baker
Tony Bennett
Jeff Buckley
Ray Charles
Nat King Cole
Brian Ferry
Marvin Gaye
Elton John
James Taylor
Elliott Yamin
Top Eleven Singer-Songwriters of all time:
David Bowie
Bob Dylan
John Lennon
Joni Mitchell
Willie Nelson
Liz Phair
Loudon Wainwright
Tom Waits
Paul Westerberg
Stevie Wonder
Neil Young
Top Ten Female Vocalists (pop music) of all time:
Sheryl Crowe
Aretha Franklin
Judy Garland
Gladys Knight
Allison Krause
Billy Holiday
Patty Loveless
Cat Power
Bonnie Raitt
Diana Ross
Top Eleven Performers (pop) of all time:
Johnny Cash
Elvis Costello
Jimi Hendrix
Mick Jagger
Jim Morrison
Van Morrison
Prince
Iggy Pop
Elvis Presley
Tina Turner
Jack White
Chet Baker
Tony Bennett
Jeff Buckley
Ray Charles
Nat King Cole
Brian Ferry
Marvin Gaye
Elton John
James Taylor
Elliott Yamin
Top Eleven Singer-Songwriters of all time:
David Bowie
Bob Dylan
John Lennon
Joni Mitchell
Willie Nelson
Liz Phair
Loudon Wainwright
Tom Waits
Paul Westerberg
Stevie Wonder
Neil Young
Top Ten Female Vocalists (pop music) of all time:
Sheryl Crowe
Aretha Franklin
Judy Garland
Gladys Knight
Allison Krause
Billy Holiday
Patty Loveless
Cat Power
Bonnie Raitt
Diana Ross
Top Eleven Performers (pop) of all time:
Johnny Cash
Elvis Costello
Jimi Hendrix
Mick Jagger
Jim Morrison
Van Morrison
Prince
Iggy Pop
Elvis Presley
Tina Turner
Jack White
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
positive and not so much
If you haven't checked out Elliott Yamin, you need to.
I say he is one of the top 10 male vocalists of all time.
Not so much is...today I decided getting a PhD is like the hazing one endures to join a fraternity.
I also decided I want to move to the Pac NW. This decision could be likened to Brad's decisions to move into an earthship, buy a motorcycle, or build a geodesic dome. However, I like rain, I like cold rain, and that is a lot of what it is like in the Pac NW. Brad tells me Eureka, CA is lovely. I am going to check out vacationing there for us this summer.
I say he is one of the top 10 male vocalists of all time.
Not so much is...today I decided getting a PhD is like the hazing one endures to join a fraternity.
I also decided I want to move to the Pac NW. This decision could be likened to Brad's decisions to move into an earthship, buy a motorcycle, or build a geodesic dome. However, I like rain, I like cold rain, and that is a lot of what it is like in the Pac NW. Brad tells me Eureka, CA is lovely. I am going to check out vacationing there for us this summer.
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