Thursday, December 30, 2010

Looks like we made it

I always sang that song in my head coming off the last hill of the dam loop. I don't miss that ride at all.
HH, CH, and I made it through 2 weeks of home alone for long stretches. This well was smoother, but still a challenge.
I usually write on Dec 23. This year is my quinceneira. I was sick and worn out last week. I am going to try to get a chip this weekend.
Wish I could go to Go Dance NYE party. It was $25 in advance. I asked for a nondrinker discount, and they said no. A nondrinker and stay about an hour. Probably fine to stay home, rest, and steer clear of the amateurs.
I'm using my iPod touch, which I call an itouch, just to be annoying, but anyway the touch screen is acting a little weird.
I am still hacking up and blowing out gunk from my sinus infection-over 2
weeks. The worst is not getting enough sleeps due to cough. I always get this cough and have to beg for guaffinessin with codeine-one of the 1st cough meds and the only one that works for me. Just suffering. I wish docs understood some patients are not idiots and can use deductive reasoning if nothing else to diagnose themselves. Oh, well.
I'll stop, now, because the keyboard is being weird

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Louis CK and Unvacation

I saw a John Stewart interview with Louis CK about his FX series.  He is hilarious.  Reed used to tell me he thought Bill Hicks was his soulmate.  I feel this way about Louis CK.  He is so sweetly irreverent.  I was talking with a dad at Ramsey whose red-headed son was playing with Hank, and I mentioned Louis CK.  He also found him hilarious and also found others didn't get him.  I have tried to explain a few bits to Brad, but I admit, make Louis CK sound mean or raunchy, or just not funny.  I clearly, though I like to think I am, am not a comedian.  I don't have the timing or delivery necessary.  The entire FX series is on instant netflix.
I also recently saw a Dave Chapelle standup routine.  He discusses the ridiculousness of women in women's magazines giving advice about men.  E.g., 100 ways to please your man, written by a woman.  He said there were only 4 ways, and I paraphrase, "perform oral sex, something else related to oral sex, make him a sandwich, and don't talk so much."  I love that.  Although, I don't think that describes Brad.  But, maybe I have read too many women's magazines.

Hank, Charlie, and I have been home, alone together for the past week and a half (except for the hours of 5-8:30 am several weekdays and Sunday mornings).  I think Hank has done well with the transition of the addition of a huge attention stealer.  He has regressed, I guess for lack of a better description, in some emotional expression.  He has made progress verbalizing his want for attention or disturbance simply with the change in the game.  Last week, I thought a lot about the Calgon, take me away commercial.  It felt like an all day crisis management, and I was sick, and didn't feel well,  and sleep deprived, etc.  This week, after getting 2.5 days home with me and Brad, he has done much better.  He still has a few teary meltdowns when I deny him candy or going to the store to buy more toys, or something like that.  It is SO sad the expression on his face when he cries.  I want the instant gratification, I suppose, of entertaining his want for instant gratification.  I keep reminding myself that just because he cries when he asks for candy, and he has already had more than I intended to give him for the day, that I am not helping him by giving him more candy.  A cocaine addict would cry for more cocaine, and that doesn't mean they should be given more cocaine.  And not that Hank has developed an eating disorder or something like dependence, it is my job to be the self-regulation that he cannot yet provide for himself.  The fact that he even eats candy is not what I had intended for him.  Other parents tell me their kids would eat candy all day everyday if they let them.  Some parents have managed to keep their kids away from candy altogether.  The other day, he was eating some reese's peanut butter cups and said, "I love this candy."  He said it with the same sweetness he uses when he says, "I love you," to me.  He sometimes says, "I love you, too, mommy," as the initial statement.  It is so sweet.  This morning I was so sleepy, and he was waking me up by kissing my face.  It was funny, but also SO sweet.  I hope I will be recovering next week with some seriously long naps.

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