Saturday, April 25, 2009
I have about 4 large binders' worth of basketball cards. anyone have any idea to whom I might sell them? I don't want to f with selling them off one by one.
last night accompanied B & N to Go Dance for the Drop-In and Dance. we all got in free because they were new and I brought them. I think I could have dropped them off, as they handled themselves with grace and much enjoyment. but it was kind of fun to be there. this teen aged boy who rotated to me said, "tell me when you are ready for me to turn you." I smiled and said, "well, you get to tell me when I am ready." I also danced with a perfectionist hot-head who decided to sit down after he rotated to me. I felt horrible. I was not giving him any advice, and I was following his robot steps, but he was very frustrated he wasn't cuing the turn at the right time. I can relate, but I did not expect to "get it" on my first lesson. progress, not perfection. stayed for 45 minutes of the social dance. got to dance with DID. I hope he will say I was more relaxed. I was trying SO hard to stay relaxed. I know. not going to work. it's like trying to untie a knot with all your might!
going to the last On2 class today. going to keep my chin up to keep my brain in positive mode. hopefully, the neurotransmitters will beat the hormones today as the hormones of not being pregnant descend. it's ok; back to work!!!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
when I first read The Outsiders, in my mind I read the word, 'socs' as "socks" instead of "soshes." know what I mean? and I didn't get it. duh. why are they called socks? I think Cynthia's mom was secretly pleased that Cynthia knew something I didn't. we were in Germany after 8th grade when I found out. I don't blame her, because I think I came across as trying to be a smarty pants. I was just dying for some approval, but I think it was hidden under the unpleasant smarty pants-ness.
I went to deja vu salsa on Sunday. I went to deja vu salsa on Sunday. social dancing. I stayed a whole 35 minutes past the 30 minute lesson - until after 9:30 PM!!! I had one very successful dance with a kid brother, one fairly challenging and fairly successful dance with a kid brother's fancy best friend, and one medium success with an older brother. I was mostly proud of myself just for showing up.
got a dress for showcase. I need to get it altered if I am going to wear it. sent the dress I already had off to get dyed red. if it doesn't turn out, I will keep this black one and wear it. got it at a website with some good stuff.
if you haven't seen it, already, garrett weber-gale has a neat website, also. his most recent post has some videos of Olympic swimmers hanging and being Navy Seals. it's neat.
here's our latest video.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
went to my On2 class at noon. wasn't feeling too into it, but reasonably content. while dancing I had a sudden onset of sadness. I thought I was going to cry in class. no reason, other than hormones. I do view female sex hormones as a Gift and evolutionarily adaptive (except the cramps. Jesus!) However, I don't know why the sudden extreme sadness. I would have thought I could dance my way out of it, but it wouldn't go away. I left before the partner work part. I also really didn't want to dance with the guy with extremely sweaty hands. I almost snuck out undetected, but DID asked me where and why I was going. I stage whispered "woman things." there were 5 people standing there all staring at me once he asked. I assume he will assume I meant cramps. I am not having any cramps. Just this weird brick of sad. Brad picked me up and took me to Whole Foods. very sweet. HH is at nana & poppa's for the first time in a couple of weeks. Brad is going to take a nap. I would like to, too. I'm not sleepy, now, though.
this month I haven't taken any pregnancy tests, yet. last month I probably took about 8. the problem was, there were at least 3 that didn't work. they would neither confirm nor deny if I was pregnant. we only put 1 bullet in the chamber this time, so I am sure I am not. last time we worked diligently for several days, so I was sure I was.
last night went to salsa and merengue. merengue was fun. not so many hard and fast rules, it doesn't seem. and I kind of snuck in to merengue 2 because I didn't go to any merengue 1. I know, it's scandalous. but I did fine.
I don't feel like dancing at ALL right now, and I wondered if I could get my money back for showcase. I know this too shall pass, but I think it will never pass. even after many many many times of feeling ____ and it always feels like it will last forever, and it never does.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
our refrigerator KENMORE the WORST REFRIGERATOR IN THE HISTORY OF REFRIGERATORS broke, again, for the 2nd time in its short, 7 year life. we originally bought the extended warranty, but when that sucked so bad we were going to have to wait for 2 weeks with rotten food in the refrigerator as instructed by the Sears representatives, we wrote them back to say, no, thank you, we would not care to renew our extended warranty, again.
funny news, on the way to take a bunch of food from the grocery store that I bought today to my parents' refrigerator, we saw an Indian run that was a walk. a line of walkers, walking pretty slowly, with the tail person jogging up to the front. there may be another name for it these days, but I am pretty sure Native peoples would want to claim this as a practice - the Indian walk/run.
Saturday night, Brad took it upon himself to cook some chicken. I was sick and already in bed. And I am not suggesting that, because he is a man, he should not cook. He works outside the home more than I do, so as a person, I feel obliged to do more of the cooking. However, he had a mishap with one of the pans and the gas stove. Needless to say, the smell of burning plastic still permeates the downstairs. We opened all the windows, and I performed my amateur shaman routine with lots of incense, but it still stinks.
On the other hand, this morning I was sleeping on my stomach, and I think I smelled some of Hank's spit up on the bed. It was dry, not like fresh spit up. But, it smelled GOOD. Isn't that the strangest and most adaptive physiological response?! Now, the time Hank actually threw up, that did smell gross to me. And now the poop is not smelling so great to me. But it's not as repulsive as the smell of anyone else's poop. I wonder why it is adaptive that one might find one's own poop or foot smell pleasant. OK, maybe not pleasant, but haven't you ever smelled your own shoe more than once? I have. It's a little like a train wreck. Keep going back for one more smell to make sure that's what it really smelled like.
While watching Monday's DWTS yesterday morning, I had another little epiphany regarding the regarding of the sexiness. Shawn Johnson, the gymnast. (I always want to call her Shaun Jordan, the male, Olympic swimmer). She's 17, and Mark Ballas is about to turn 23 (thank you, Wikipedia). So, it's illegal for them to make out. They are NOT going to make out. But, they ACT like they WANT to make out while they are dancing, knowing that they will NOT make out either while or after they are dancing. ACTING! (Jon Lovitz). So, it's just about ACTING like you might enjoy making out with this person while you are dancing the sexy dance while KNOWING you will not make out. At least that is how I am going to think about it. I tried at my dance lesson last night, not to go that far, mentally, but to get lost in the movement and following. I had some moments of being lost. DID was in a good mood and didn't give me a hard time when I goofed. The double spin in my current bane. Hard!!! I regret not acting or even trying to act in the 7th grade play when I was supposed to be the love interest of Kevin Huey's character. He was killed while riding his bike home from school 2 years later. An extreme example of missing out on life due to fear, (on my part) but the similarity is not lost on me.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
saw the lady who makes $40,000/month in ads from her hilarious blog. I would be very happy with $40,000/year. she writes about her boobs; I am sure I have talked about my boobs before, have I not? come on, Oprah, read my blog, too!
been down with a sinus infection. VERY tired. feeling better this morning. missing my parents a lot when I am sick. Hank was sick for 2 days, fortunately, before I got sick. I blame his 25 minutes in babysitting last week. ended up taking some antibiotics that I thought had made me nauseated. took them with pizza the first time to avoid side effects. called dr lamy (so easy to call him dr lamo!) to refill my last antibiotic for my last identical sinus infection. nurse called back to tell me I would have to come in for an appointment. this is why, we the people, self-medicate. if a 37 year-old, college educated, sinus infection aficionado can't recognized her own illness...
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
today at boot camp they were asking me about CPR and getting certified. talked about circulation, AED's, and pocket masks. "do you carry a pocket mask, Meredith?" "no, Bob, it's just going to be my lips on top of yours." bob's wife: "that sounds like more fun than you have had in a long time."
took Hank to J babysitting for the first time yesterday. he cried for 25 minutes, so I opted to take him back home. today it appears he has a cold. I hope it's just allergies. didn't know 14 month-olds could have allergies to airborne stuff.
signed up to dance salsa for :90 (that's seconds) with DID at Showcase on June 7. the funds are coming from my birthday present money. (most of the money goes to Lifeworks, a non-profit that serves needy children and adolescents. it's a former beneficiary of the 3M half marathon, too). I asked if he thought I could wear the same dress I wore on the cover of ifIhadahIfi. he asked, didn't I want to get a new dress? no! not in the budget. have I considered putting rhinestones on my clothing? no, I have not. yes, I guess one should ease into wearing rhinestones on one's clothing. I do already have some awesome Latin dance shoes, of course!
supposed to go to Dallas tomorrow, but may not get to due to sick HH. : (