Sunday, May 31, 2009

:22 of :110

Here are the first 22 seconds of my dance with DID at dress rehearsal.  The camera battery quit for some reason.  Probably taking too many videos of the kid!
As you may remember, Kathleen Wood warned me about PID after IMCa.  I wondered why I would get pelvic inflammatory disease after doing an ironman, but she meant post-ironman depression.  I can already feel the PSD (post showcase depression) sneaking up.  Although, not accompanied by an existential crisis like the IM was.
I am not feeling nervous, and after watching DID dance with many of us in his harem, I feel fine with the sexy arms, etc.  It's just part of the dance and not a big deal.
Now, I want to do a fund-raiser of sorts so that we can do a Rumba spotlight in December.
All the money paid to be in showcase beyond the cost of production goes to Lifeworks.

Turns out our song is 1:50, not 1:30.  And I would like to amend that I noticed my posture was not it's best, and my back break needs work.  I don't know how I am going to warm up without a partner on Sunday.  It takes me about 40 minutes to slow down the 3 and the 7 and "connect my arms to my body," while not contracting my biceps.  I guess I will figure it out when I get there.  We are supposed to get there 3 hours early on Sunday.  I don't normally wish I had a PDA, but I think I will wish that, then.  ipod, too.  Maybe BH will let me borrow his.... : )

Sunday, May 24, 2009

thinking problem

having a hard time not obsessing about the sexy arms thing in salsa.  figured out DID is a Scorpio, and I had thought he was a Sagittarius this whole time.  explains why I am a little afraid of him and I think of him kind of like my dad in a Greek tragedy sort of way.  today we did a Rumba thing where I am supposed to put my hand on his stomach.  I don't know why I find this extremely intimate.  dancer people don't think about it at all.  then I wanted to work on the end of our showcase routine  - something fancy.  he suggested a dip.  the first one is not so much of  a dip, but it is called a dip.  it's basically me standing on one leg like a flamingo, and with my arm around his waist.  I noticed I was putting my forearm on his back, but I wasn't touching it with my hand.  I guess I am afraid it's like a wildfire.  if I were to allow myself to commit to the sexy arms, we would have sex.  I realize this is unreasonable, but I am so black and white, that I just can't find any grey area.  it's all or nothing.  sexy arms, sex.  no sexy arms, no sex.  of course, I do not want us to have sex, nor do I think he is suggesting that, either.  I am so glad Shawn Johnson won DWTS.  maybe she can give me some advice.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

like robbing a highway

Don't know if I mentioned this when it happened, but overheard at IKEA regarding an item someone apparently thought was expensive, "wow, that's like robbing a highway."  I don't know if they were foreign or just trying to be hilarious.
What brought highway robbery to mind was I sold some clothes at Buffalo Exchange yesterday.  It was kind of like halfprice books, but with young people who don't care as opposed to middle aged people who don't care.  I turned them down on a few of their terrible offers, which meant I had to carry the stuff and the kid BACK out to the car, and no, thank you, I don't need any help opening the door or carrying anything, you just stand there. please.  I am not superstitious, and I don't know if I believe in karma or not, but it did seem like a reflection of my former self.  No clue about having a kid or why you would need to bring the kid with you while you carried in grocery sacks full of clothes that are perfectly good but that you haven't worn in 20 years.
The main reason for the purge was to get the rest of my clothes out of Hank's closet.  Mission mostly accomplished except for my coats.  I put my pants in the upstairs bathroom cabinet.  And I put my dresses on the top of my two layer closet in the office.  Now, if I would just sell/get rid of the stuff in the bottom of my closet and Hank's closet, we would be in serious, organization nirvana.
Off to ride the spin bike before the first meet the coaches for Canyon Creek summer league swim team!  My 4th season!!!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

long time gone

been updating my facebook status, annoyingly frequently, I am sure, instead of blogging.
Hank has not eaten at night for over a week.  it's getting a LOT better.  so good that I don't remember any dreams I have had for the past 3 nights.  wow.
had a hard time, hormonally this weekend.  I think BH was tired, and I was, too, and just before I left for my dance lesson on Sunday, I experienced him as being annoyed with me for being gone.  
consequently, I cried on the way to my lesson, then I cried a little during my lesson, then I cried at the end of my lesson.  I had told DID I hardly ever cry, which was true until that sad attack at On2 class.  now, it seems like the dam has burst.  I felt plenty content when I woke up yesterday morning.  Hank and I walked to get my watchband lengthened.  all the way up to near the Nighthawk restaurant.  this morning I woke up crazy early, but not worried or sad, just early.
I have a bunch of Jewish mothers as clients, and I am used to it, and love it, really.  so I am sure DID is used to having emotional women as clients.  I bet if he ever considered polygamy, since becoming a dance instructor, he has abandoned that fantasy.  all the listening and talking, and trying to be supportive without any of the rewards with us.
going to watch my taped SNL and DWTS and ride the bike!