Thursday, January 28, 2016


H took 100 paper airplanes to market days and sold 48. He wouldn't take all the fortune tellers we made bc he didn't want to write on all of them. I want to keep C home tomorrow w me bc he has a doc appt in morning, and I don't think he'll want to go anyway. I want to put H&C on Don Crowley's swim team this summer if C can swim 25 yds. Right now he can easily swim 10 yds. He's not side breathing yet, but they're working on it. Don asked me to coach, but I don't have anyone to watch them during the hour they aren't swimming. My hair is long, and I've been French braiding it everyday. I'm not nearly as good as A. I hope we get to go to MI this summer if B has enough vaca. We're playing w a samoyed dog one afternoon a week for a client. C is warming up to him, but not entirely. He's a very calm dog esp for a puppy. I really hope I get to go dancing Sun night. It's probably been 3 months since I've gotten to go. I don't think I've had to wear a jacket. C wants desert after every meal. I can barely get H to eat. They weigh about the same. Even though H is over 4 ft tall. Not sure if H will stay in dual lang for 3rd grade. We've heard bad things about 3rd grade teacher, and he's still not developed and interest in Spanish. I can't remember what I've already written and what I haven't. I'm probably repeating myself. Oh well. I have a hard time staying in the moment and not focusing on trying to get them to do something or trying to get them not to do something. And getting them from point A to point B and back again w all our stuff. I remind myself all the time just to take in every second. And soon they won't take forever getting in and out of the car. And someday they'll be waiting for me to get out of the car, and I'll hope they're patient w me. It doesn't matter if we show up late somewhere. It's really hard for me to be ok w that. My favorite thing in the world is to snug w them. 

Wednesday, January 27, 2016


C said his milk was bad. I said it wasn't bad. He said it's bad ass. Not good ass. H loves playing Minecraft and talking to himself while he plays. H is excited for market days tomorrow where the second grade sells stuff they made to the rest of the school. C is in his third semester of ballet. I really want him to stick with it long enough to like it and to stick with it after someone tells him it's for girls. He likes being around girls, so so far so good. I'm doing WCS and waltz in my lessons. I haven't been able to go to the socials because B has been working. But he is changing jobs so hopefully the new one will not require working on Sun night. H is taking a Minecraft Lego class after school one day a week. They both take swimming twice a week. Charlie just got moved up to level 3. I volunteer in H's classroom once a week to help with writing. There's a wide range of proficiency. H doesn't like the Spanish part of school even though his teacher is very good at presenting it. I don't know if he will continue next year as we have heard bad things about 3rd grade teacher. C is dying to learn Spanish and comes home speaking Spanish syllables pretending he's speaking Spanish. I'm trying to get a grant to study HS students at recovery HS. Other than that I'm still at the J. It's ok because the hours work with the kids. B wants me to work in my field so he can work part time. The thought of not being with the kids when they get out of school makes me sick. I don't think I could physically be away from them for that long. I also think they need me. In a different way than they need him. It's an argument we have. B also says I spend too much money but will not tell me what is the correct amount. 

Friday, January 22, 2016


Got to eat lunch with them today. C giggles and plays with his friends. He's glad I'm there. Today H was hiding in my scarf and puts my arm around him. It's really hard for me not to cry. It's getting a little easier because I go once a week. I get very little done on the day I go because I'm gone 2 hours and get home and have to pick up C 45 minutes later. Totally worth it of course. I'm so blessed and grateful I get to eat with them. Today after school we're going over to a client's house to play with her dog. They are both very excited. I wonder how they'll be with the dog. They've never really been around one. H is making 200 paper airplanes for market days at school which is when 2nd graders sell stuff to the rest of the school to make money for a class trip. We already made a lot of fortune tellers, but he didn't want to have to fill them all out. H got 3rd place in 2nd grade at the science fair. He was very excited, but also very excited his friend got 2nd place. There was talk of H sleeping over at a friend's house, but when it closer, he didn't really want to be gone overnight. They both still sleep in bed with us. They don't want to sleep by themselves, and I'm not sure I want them to either. I figure it will take care of itself. I hope so. 

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Jan 20, 2016

H read by himself a Plants Vs Zombies book last night without any prompting. He usually says he hates to read and doesn't want to do it. C told me I looked pretty yesterday and H agreed. I was wearing a white Henley shirt that I think makes me look fat. H is playing Minecraft and Lego Jurassic World on the Xbox he got for Christmas from Nana. H finished his science fair project on permineralization with a little help from C. Every morning C doesn't want to go to school and asks me to eat lunch with him. Every day he tells me had had fun and often talks about playing with his friends. C takes a long time to get in the car. He doesn't want to line up in the gym and wait for his teacher. He wants me to wait with him outside his classroom. C likes a YouTube show called roadkill about fixing junky cars. They both drink a ton of chocolate milk and eat mostly simply carbohydrates. C loves chocolate and H likes mega icing Oreos. C likes to ride in the racecart at the grocery store. 

Monday, January 18, 2016

Oh and me, too

Still dancing and loving it. Did showcase in the. Summer. WCS w DID. I was so nervous I couldn't make myself smile. I worried about it so much, then when it was over, I was sad. Got to visit MI over Xmas. I love Brad's family. Kids loved sledding. I play hello kitty on my phone waiting for the kids. Still trying to lose 10 pounds. Laying off the Oreos and eating one meal of veggies and yogurt. Hope it starts working. Brad hates his job. I am working on some research and looking for a grant to fund it. I volunteer in H's classroom once a week. I did that in first grade also. I like to watch the Vampire Diaries and Suits while I exercise. I run on and off. I'm so slow now it really bums me out so it's sort of a vicious cycle o not doing it. That's all for now. 


I haven't been writing stuff down the kids do because I'm busy watching them do it or playing with them. But I want to remember every single second with them. Here's some things that come to mind. When H was 5 he wore his Darth Vader costume to NW park, often on his bike. C still says mom, I love you out of the blue. Last night when I wanted H to stop watching the iPad and read he said he hated me and wished I was dead. H brings nerf guns to NW park now and makes new best friends every time. C talks in Spanish syllables pretending he's speaking Spanish. C still likes to play with vehicles. H even played with garbage trucks and dump trucks recently when C was playing with them. H loves minecraft watching people play on YouTube and playing himself. He went from watching Clone Wars music when he was 6 to dinosaur music. And now watches Halo music. H still likes it when I come to lunch although for the first time the other day, he played a little attention to a friend. C asks me to come to lunch every day. I come once a week. H does not like being in dual language. He loves science and science is in Spanish. He thinks he doesn't understand Spanish so he doesn't pay attention. H still snugs with me at night and wants me to read to him. Even last night after he was so angry at me. He doesn't like to read. C wants to read so badly. C takes ballet. H took a semester at Go Dance last spring but now says he already knows how to dance. They both take swim lessons at Tom's dive shop. C just moved up to level 3. H would watch the iPad or play Xbox all day if left unchecked. C just learned to ride a bike without training wheels about a month ago. H got a new gear bike about the same time. That's all I can think of today. I will remember more and remember to write more more frequently.