- 4˙ F

I was going to walk over to the gym this morning to see my favorite hippie Taoseños, (I guess that is redundant) but it's -4˙F, and I don't feel like it.

I have swum everyday since Monday. That is good enough for a pregnant lady. I imagine we will stop around Amarillo today, and our favorite motel in Amarillo has a workout room.
On Tuesday at the Genoveva Chavez Community Center pool, it was set up as long course - 50 m. I was reminiscing about one of the first times, if not the first, that I swam over 3000 m in the UT pool when it was set up long course. It was with BM. The thing I remember was we did a set of descending 300's, which I thought sounded impossible and too hard. But, we did it. That was neat.

Yesterday, I didn't feel as perky in the pool, but I had swum 4000 yds the day before, etc, and it was the middle of the day. I do so much better when I exercise first thing in the morning. I hope Hank lets me do that.

He moves around a lot especially when I am still - sitting for a while or lying down to sleep! I asked Brad and my mom if that meant he was going to move around all the time when he moves out. They didn't know.

I have had such a relaxing time this week. I think my mom has, too. The only time I really can relax is in a motel. There is nothing to clean; I am not reminded of my to do list (even though I did get a few things on it done, here). I didn't send out Christmas cards. Merry Christmas, everyone! I LOVE being in a motel, watching their cable, exercising, rambling on the internets, eating every once in a while, getting out only to do something fun. I cannot ever reach this level of relaxation at home. Yes, I take naps, yes, I fart around, but I have a lingering guilt that spoils it. I guess I really need to work on that for 2008. Being present and just enjoying the moment. That is what I am able to do on vacation.

I was worried about missing Brad too much because it seems like the oxytocin is going nuts making me want to be with him every second of the day, but I didn't. Just kidding. It was like ripping off a bandaid - a big bandaid over a hairy arm or something. It was painful to separate, but I haven't been crying over missing him the whole time we've been gone. I am enjoying Lana's company. It also helped we had a gorgeous view of Wheeler Peak outside our window - we didn't always have to get out in the -4˙ to enjoy the mountains.

It looks like the ice on the roads will melt today, and we will have fairly smooth sailing. Last year a lot of folks got stuck in the panhandle - in their cars or in a motel in Lubbock. Now, I don't know if I could relax quite as much in a flea bag motel in Lubbock. There is a nice Comfort Inn Heather and James and I stayed in once, however.

My mom keeps talking about bringing 10 month old Hank here next year. I am not so sure about that one.
I wonder if Brad and I can take Hank on our 14ers quest over the next few years. Weighing Brad down with 30-50 pounds of Baby Bjorn would certainly make it easier to keep up with him. Maybe not, though, he adapts quickly to training stimuli.

I hope you all have relaxing holidays. I am going to enjoy the spirit of my family members and try to bring joy while not trying to control the outcome.
Those are good resolutions - be present, bring joy, and let go of the outcome. What an order!

Hey, today I am 12! DUHHHH!!!!!! December 23, 1995. Hello! Thank God and the Universe for my sanity and continuous sobriety. Life certainly is so much better and so much different than I ever could have dreamed. I never thought I would go to graduate school (much less graduate), be a recreational athlete, marry the best husband in the world, and have a son. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, and debauchery. I was always seeking an always elusive fun. I can honestly say it was so rarely fun, even though I told myself I was out to have fun. Yes, I may have laughed with friends, but it was with a panic of never being present. Wow. I couldn't have planned this. I was headed for an early sex, drugs, and rock n roll end. I can't even articulate how grateful I am. Someday, I will revisit rock n roll for good and not to an end. I hope Hank doesn't say "aw, Mom" until he's at least 12 or so when I break out the Bob Dylan and Replacements covers.

snow delay

Staying one more night in Taos due to the snow we got yesterday. About 6". It's pretty spectacular. We are having a very relaxing time. I have swum everyday, and I finally don't feel like a slug in the water. Even at 8000 feet.
I have made friends at the pool, too: A urologist who works at the hospital whose best marathon time was Boston in 2:32. And a mom who swam all the way through her pregnancy.

Last night we had an AWESOME dinner at Lambert's. We split a salad and an entreé. It was unbelievably awesome.

I wish I could ski today because it would be awesome up there, but probably not a good idea. Plus, Taos just caved and after years of fighting and finally allowed snow-boarders. Boo! Taos is not good for snow-boarders. If they are going to allow them, they need to make them a special area to keep them away from the skiers.

Feeling a lot better, physically. I have only taken 2 naps the whole time we've been here. Just still eating tums like candy and my fiber pills.

a couple pics

nothing new

As requested, I will try to get a pic of BH at 31 weeks. I will get him to take one of me, too. It's hard to put on shoes, now. It just feels like you can't breath very well. And, I get to enjoy food I ate hours ago again and again.

We went to Coach Steve's last night to watch the Patriots with the Natl team. We had a nice time. I ate a concoction of Steve's that was very good, and I can no longer chastise him for killing the bird of peace - a chunk of dove meat, a slice of jalapeño, a dab of cream cheese, all wrapped in a small piece of bacon. He made them and grilled them outside. It was pretty awesome. However, I did experience the retasting phenomenon for several hours later. It was worth it.
We didn't watch the game - partly because the TV area was full of swimmers and partly because we were talking with Steve and his wife about the Bradley childbirth method. I did not know that only 1% of mothers today opt for natural childbirth. Well, I guess more opt for it, but opt out once it starts happening. Coleen said she has a high pain threshold, and she said it was worth it - FOUR times. I have a very low pain threshold. She did tempt me more, however, with what follows birth - the baby and you are totally alert, and you feel awesome. I imagine it's even better than a successful marathon high. Those are better than any drug you can buy, so maybe that's why they decided on 3 more kids. I need to stop harassing Brad about reading the book. Yes, it's called husband-coached childbirth, but I think he feels overwhelmed by other things.

BH redid the windows in Hank's room with new trim and touched up all the paint on the walls. It looks very good. I am ready to put everything back in its place now, however. He told me to close the door and pretend it was. I didn't tell him that that was an unhelpful "male" response. I didn't want an alternate solution, I just wanted to be heard - a "female" desire. (I had volunteered to put everything back, myself, I just needed to know the one area he still wanted to paint because I didn't see it.)
I ramble.

This week I plan to get at least some of the things on my Getting Things Done list done. Last week was not very productive, but it was also not dark at all. I started letting Rockit sleep with us after Brad vetoed the dog. He has been a tempting nap companion. Good thing he sleeps over 18 hours a day. Just like me. Not quite.

Sunday LM and I leave for NM for a week. I bought support hose for the car ride. Geez, those things are hard to put on especially when you can't bend at the waist. However, they are VERY sexy.

what's not to love

She weighs 6 pounds.
I got vetoed on getting one, however. Very sad.

have to go home

Our stay at Chateau Vue Incroyable/Chienne Mignone ends today. I love staying in hotels and in other people's houses. It is the only time I ever feel completely relaxed. I spent way too long searching for Paperanians to adopt yesterday. As much as I believe in adoption, (of dogs and kids. Hey, we'll get there) Chewy is so close to the perfect dog, I would consider a puppy from a breeder. Now, you know what to get me for Christmas!!!
I did get some work done on my paper this week. (I am supposed to be done by last Friday, but classes don't end until next Friday, so that will be OK.) The Best Times Meet went well. Some best times and great swimming. And, it was over EARLY. Awesome.
I am really glad we only have one more week of school. This semester was harder than when I was taking classes. I had good batches of kids for the most part, I just had a really hard time showing up. Not normal for me. This too shall pass.
Bummed OK beat MO. Now, I don't care about any of the teams in the running for big bowls.

note to self

If you wake a paperanian (pomeranian/papillon) up at 5 am for 4 days in a row, she will want to get up at 5 am on the 5th day, also. She is unbelievably cute. And, Brad loves her, so I think the probability of Hodgkinson dog is now 1%.