had such a detailed and crazy dream this morning. I assume as a result of my breaking up with DID, yesterday. I actually didn't do it myself, to avoid wishy-washily ending up not breaking up. it was almost as yucky feeling as breaking up with Reed. something sick, I suppose. according to the 3rd party who did the communicating, DID was very understanding. consequently, we are not doing the cha cha at showcase. now, just the Rumba with DIT, which is coming along, the LB team, and a half of another thing. decided to go ahead and get up to get some writing done on my secret novel. wrote down the whole dream, first.
LBPB and I are becoming friends, and it is helping me look at him while dancing. last week, I quoted Blue Velvet to him (Dennis Hopper) to ask him not to look at me while dancing. it was even funnier that he has not seen Blue Velvet. but he looked just over my ear, and it was cracking me up. but I could look directly at him. haha. we have a LOT in common. a LOT.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
swing turned salsa dress success
Wore my black swing dress for the black and white salsa bday party for DID and Becca. I thought BH looked annoyed when I left, but maybe it was my imagination. Because he wasn't annoyed when I got home. wink wink nudge nudge say no more...
Didn't get to do that much dancing, but got a little in and felt pretty coordinated.
LB team practice was fun Sat. LBPB 2-stepped me a little between our lindy and blues practicing. That's fun with moments of success. I wish I could go to 2-step class. LBPB said he may resume salsa. That would be fun to practice more, too!
I am VERY sleepy this morning, however. Still have debris in my sinuses as does Hank, but we are both continuing to improve. Poor little guy can't loogee. I have no idea how to spell that. He does go over to the edge of the porch when we are outside, however. And he cutely makes a spitting noise and the body and head movement of spitting without actually spitting.
Busy morning. 2 peeps at J, 2 peeps at their respective houses, to Don's, to JCAA. 6 hole hours of working outside the home!
Didn't get to do that much dancing, but got a little in and felt pretty coordinated.
LB team practice was fun Sat. LBPB 2-stepped me a little between our lindy and blues practicing. That's fun with moments of success. I wish I could go to 2-step class. LBPB said he may resume salsa. That would be fun to practice more, too!
I am VERY sleepy this morning, however. Still have debris in my sinuses as does Hank, but we are both continuing to improve. Poor little guy can't loogee. I have no idea how to spell that. He does go over to the edge of the porch when we are outside, however. And he cutely makes a spitting noise and the body and head movement of spitting without actually spitting.
Busy morning. 2 peeps at J, 2 peeps at their respective houses, to Don's, to JCAA. 6 hole hours of working outside the home!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Robert Pattinson mags
December issues of VF (more pics up here, recently) and Bazaar are out with RPattz on cover. I already read both, and learned nothing beyond what my cheaper and trashier OK magazines told me. I am SO glad I don't read fashion magazine, anymore. It makes me so much more peaceful and self-accepting. All those air-brushed legs, butts, and faces. And products I don't need that are a waste of money.
And, they pretty much showed us all the pictures on their websites. Well, they still got me to buy 2 magazines. Touché!
One more boring story. Yesterday, Sarah was trying out a $1700 competition dress (she a pro and a teacher at Go Dance). She looked absolutely beautiful. She is always beautiful, but the dress was skimpy, but not slutty, and the C&W tan boots looked great with the dress. And she just looked amazing. I was very happy I could appreciate her beauty without thinking, "I wish I looked like that." Didn't occur to me. That's progress!
And, they pretty much showed us all the pictures on their websites. Well, they still got me to buy 2 magazines. Touché!
One more boring story. Yesterday, Sarah was trying out a $1700 competition dress (she a pro and a teacher at Go Dance). She looked absolutely beautiful. She is always beautiful, but the dress was skimpy, but not slutty, and the C&W tan boots looked great with the dress. And she just looked amazing. I was very happy I could appreciate her beauty without thinking, "I wish I looked like that." Didn't occur to me. That's progress!
too early
Some people stay up too late; I get up too early.
Think how much money the world could save on coffee if we simply got adequate sleep...
Yeah, heavy.
My nose is waking me up. Went to doc, again, yesterday. My GP, who is probably over 65 and semi-retired knew what the latest research on sinus infections was. Impressive. He said most sinus infections are viral, but he gave me 5 days of antibiotic, anyway. I told him I didn't have prescription insurance, so he gave me samples. Fascinating, I know. But, nice. I'm also using Veramist nasal spray, Astapro nasal spray, Claritin-D. When I went to fill my prescription for cough med (so I can sleep without drainage, which did work for 6 hours).
I wanted to buy more Claritin-D because I knew I was running low. Not low enough, apparently, because she could only sell me 5 tablets without exceeding my limit for pseudoephedrine products. I know meth use is a terrible epidemic, and if the ingredients are readily available, that makes it easier to make. But, geez, people, your drug dependence is screwing with my sinuses! Plus, meth is yucky. (haha, as if making your own meth using cold medicine isn't a bad enough problem). I would guess people who make it themselves sell it, too. But, I don't know. More on that subject, I heard an author speaking about meth use in the midwest. He told the very tragic story of a guy who made meth in his house. Accidentally set his house on fire. Was burned. When police came, he asked them to shoot him. They didn't. He lived. Has no fingers. Ugh. SO sad. And, now is back on meth. UGH, so sad. So grateful to be sober!!! Thank you, God and Universe.
I googled meth use biography ohio and got this book review. I think this is the book. Another blogger. Hello, other blogger. Is your mom the only person who reads your blog, too? (And BMM, thank you for your patronage).
Had lessons with DID and DIT, yesterday. I had warned DID via facebook that I might be a little vulnerable. I don't know if he had read it before our lesson or not, but he was nice. And, although I felt like I was starting over cha cha at times, I also felt some improvement. I have a hard time telling what are rubber-bandy arms and what are too loose or too stiff. I NEED SOMEONE WITH WHOM I CAN PRACTICE.
Lesson with DIT was also fun. Tried the dress. I am going to rip and sew a slit up the right side to show off particular parts of the routine. Thinking about getting a new sewing machine.
Any product suggestions? Maybe google ads will give me some. The hug is actually get a lot better. It looks good. It's just getting out of the hug I am having a hard time with. I get my foot stuck on DIT's foot or I look silly taking my arms overhead. We are starting to add arms styling, one of which is me running my hand across his chest. Just seems silly and weird to me. But, he's the teacher, and I will defer to his expertise. DIT is so sweet. I don't think I have ever seen him even get irritated. And it doesn't seem like he's faking being happy. He said sometimes he does feel grumpy. He must be able to get out of it pretty quickly. Unlike DID and I - M O O D Y.
BH is moody, too!
Hank's been sleeping on his mattress at night. He fell off one night, and I put him back in our bed because he was irritated and I wanted to go back to sleep. I mentioned moving back downstairs to Brad. We could use the upstairs as an office/rec room. Put the tv and sofa up there, in addition to our desks. We could use the armoir thing as a divider. Wow, that is a good idea. We need to update the electrical and put in insulation if we move down here, though.
Anyone know a cheap electrician? Probably not. The guy we used to wire the shed, who did a great job, BTW, was not a full-blown electrician. I.e., he was supposed to work under someone else's supervision. Of course, to get there requires a certain number of hours working under the head electrician for quite a bit less money. He was doing that, too to get his hours in. I saw him on the news getting busted for placing an ad on craigslist. Fox news, I'm sure. I understand the reason the law is in place, but if an individual decides to use a craftsman, he should be allowed to choose him, knowing how qualified (or un) he is. Maybe our guy is full-blown, now.
I know, this is a boring post today. Well, no news is good news.
Think how much money the world could save on coffee if we simply got adequate sleep...
Yeah, heavy.
My nose is waking me up. Went to doc, again, yesterday. My GP, who is probably over 65 and semi-retired knew what the latest research on sinus infections was. Impressive. He said most sinus infections are viral, but he gave me 5 days of antibiotic, anyway. I told him I didn't have prescription insurance, so he gave me samples. Fascinating, I know. But, nice. I'm also using Veramist nasal spray, Astapro nasal spray, Claritin-D. When I went to fill my prescription for cough med (so I can sleep without drainage, which did work for 6 hours).
I wanted to buy more Claritin-D because I knew I was running low. Not low enough, apparently, because she could only sell me 5 tablets without exceeding my limit for pseudoephedrine products. I know meth use is a terrible epidemic, and if the ingredients are readily available, that makes it easier to make. But, geez, people, your drug dependence is screwing with my sinuses! Plus, meth is yucky. (haha, as if making your own meth using cold medicine isn't a bad enough problem). I would guess people who make it themselves sell it, too. But, I don't know. More on that subject, I heard an author speaking about meth use in the midwest. He told the very tragic story of a guy who made meth in his house. Accidentally set his house on fire. Was burned. When police came, he asked them to shoot him. They didn't. He lived. Has no fingers. Ugh. SO sad. And, now is back on meth. UGH, so sad. So grateful to be sober!!! Thank you, God and Universe.
I googled meth use biography ohio and got this book review. I think this is the book. Another blogger. Hello, other blogger. Is your mom the only person who reads your blog, too? (And BMM, thank you for your patronage).
Had lessons with DID and DIT, yesterday. I had warned DID via facebook that I might be a little vulnerable. I don't know if he had read it before our lesson or not, but he was nice. And, although I felt like I was starting over cha cha at times, I also felt some improvement. I have a hard time telling what are rubber-bandy arms and what are too loose or too stiff. I NEED SOMEONE WITH WHOM I CAN PRACTICE.
Lesson with DIT was also fun. Tried the dress. I am going to rip and sew a slit up the right side to show off particular parts of the routine. Thinking about getting a new sewing machine.
Any product suggestions? Maybe google ads will give me some. The hug is actually get a lot better. It looks good. It's just getting out of the hug I am having a hard time with. I get my foot stuck on DIT's foot or I look silly taking my arms overhead. We are starting to add arms styling, one of which is me running my hand across his chest. Just seems silly and weird to me. But, he's the teacher, and I will defer to his expertise. DIT is so sweet. I don't think I have ever seen him even get irritated. And it doesn't seem like he's faking being happy. He said sometimes he does feel grumpy. He must be able to get out of it pretty quickly. Unlike DID and I - M O O D Y.
BH is moody, too!
Hank's been sleeping on his mattress at night. He fell off one night, and I put him back in our bed because he was irritated and I wanted to go back to sleep. I mentioned moving back downstairs to Brad. We could use the upstairs as an office/rec room. Put the tv and sofa up there, in addition to our desks. We could use the armoir thing as a divider. Wow, that is a good idea. We need to update the electrical and put in insulation if we move down here, though.
Anyone know a cheap electrician? Probably not. The guy we used to wire the shed, who did a great job, BTW, was not a full-blown electrician. I.e., he was supposed to work under someone else's supervision. Of course, to get there requires a certain number of hours working under the head electrician for quite a bit less money. He was doing that, too to get his hours in. I saw him on the news getting busted for placing an ad on craigslist. Fox news, I'm sure. I understand the reason the law is in place, but if an individual decides to use a craftsman, he should be allowed to choose him, knowing how qualified (or un) he is. Maybe our guy is full-blown, now.
I know, this is a boring post today. Well, no news is good news.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Flickr
I organized my flickr photos better this morning. Important stuff.
Woke up too early due to my sinuses running.
I feel fine. May go back to doc to see if antibiotic is actually working.
See if this works. Remember, it's an archive. EVERYTHING including the dog's dog and the dog's kitchen sink are there.
flickr
Annoyed with myself that I am letting what I think someone else's feelings about me are is occupying my thoughts and feelings. Reminder: do not yell at self to tell self to stop thinking about something. Dear Meredith, You are ok. You are doing the best you can. I like you. You are nice. Take care of me. Don't yell at me. Love, Self.
Get to have lessons with DIT and DID, today. Going to try out the rumba dress a little.
Woke up too early due to my sinuses running.
I feel fine. May go back to doc to see if antibiotic is actually working.
See if this works. Remember, it's an archive. EVERYTHING including the dog's dog and the dog's kitchen sink are there.
flickr
Annoyed with myself that I am letting what I think someone else's feelings about me are is occupying my thoughts and feelings. Reminder: do not yell at self to tell self to stop thinking about something. Dear Meredith, You are ok. You are doing the best you can. I like you. You are nice. Take care of me. Don't yell at me. Love, Self.
Get to have lessons with DIT and DID, today. Going to try out the rumba dress a little.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
without don henley
Last night made a little progress by just withdrawing when BH was in a mood. Without airing all our dirty laundry, this is the same place we have been since before we got married. It occurred to me this morning, beyond staying adult, which is going a little further than withdrawing, although in the moment I think I was relatively adult last night, I can be an advocate. It is challenging to stay adult and to not take it personally. However, I think I can do that. Beyond just struggling to stay in the present is, what does BH need from another person? It is clearer than ever that it is not about me, and is very much like -ism. The Jekyll and Hyde description from the Book comes to mind. And the Lovesong of J Alfred Prufrock for some reason. "That is not what I meant at all, that is not it at all." That's all I wanted to process with you, world.
In other news, read some of the Positive Discipline book during Hank's nap yesterday. Decided to put him on his mattress after he fell asleep last night. He is still there.
I was worried I was doing something to reinforce whining or eating cookies for lunch, but I don't think I am. Just like with the other situation, stay present, and don't take it personally. Oh, yeah, and be loving. I think I can do that, too.
Started a new bone health class at the J, yesterday. Seems like it will be a challenging and fun group. Also going to start back with the NC traveler next week - 2x/week.
In other news, read some of the Positive Discipline book during Hank's nap yesterday. Decided to put him on his mattress after he fell asleep last night. He is still there.
I was worried I was doing something to reinforce whining or eating cookies for lunch, but I don't think I am. Just like with the other situation, stay present, and don't take it personally. Oh, yeah, and be loving. I think I can do that, too.
Started a new bone health class at the J, yesterday. Seems like it will be a challenging and fun group. Also going to start back with the NC traveler next week - 2x/week.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 09, 2009
Latin Music and Dance Notes
Been meaning to make note of these things for future reference:
From the Capitol City Salsa Festival - Dancers and Dance Groups I enjoyed:
Majesty in Motion from San Diego - super polished, I saw 2 couples
Salsa Y Control from Boston: didn't get to see them, but I heard they are awesome
Mi Ritmo Dance Company from Mexico: fun and raunchy super fast salsa dancing
Yamulee Dance Company from Bronx, NY
Paladium Mambo Legends: Freddy Rios and Mike Ramos: WOW
Connally HS Latin Dance: missed them, but saw them getting ready. They looked 25
Semeneya Dance Company from San Antonio: big troupe
reKreation Dance Company from Houston: huge group of kids hip hop influence
Jazzy Dance Company from Austin: DID and company. They were so awesome. Their spins and costumes. I like the song, too. It sounded familiar. I will ask DID what it was.
Troy Anthony was MC, but apparently he dances with his wife, Jorjet. She danced with another partner. They have a son about Hank's age. I think they live in New Orleans.
Oliver Pineda from Sydney: He did a barefoot solo. He was amazing.
Notes from Latin Music Series on PBS: (I probably have many names misspelled)
Enjoyed the first 2 installments the most - the birth and history of mambo and salsa
Mambo and Afro Cuban Music = "Jazz on Top/Traditional Cuban rhythyms on bottom"
I had not considered the African roots from recent history that permeate Cuba. People who look "black" to me, speak Spanish, and seem "Latino" to me that are Cuban. I was a little puzzled as to why Cuban and Puerto Rican immigrants in the 1950's congregated in NYC. Why not somewhere closer, like Florida? Was there more discrimination and less of a community established there at that time? Due to travel options by boat? It seems, although the rest of the country was still backwards and segregated, in certain neighborhoods in New York City, e.g. El Bario, "minorities" were able to live relatively freely, although, in pretty much poverty. And it seems there was an acceptance between the African and Latin ethnicities. And then us whiteys wanted in on it at the Palladium. Midtown Manhattan nightclub frequently by celebrities and the origins of the mambo (salsa "on 2")
Song Watermelon Man - Mongo Santamarin
Song Boogaloo Blues - Johnny Colon
"Boogaloo" as origin of salsa music
Song I like it like that - Pete Rodriguez
Song El Malo - Willie Colon, trombonist, cool, young kid from El Bario, NY, now a producer
lots of funny record covers playing up "gangster"
Singer Hector Lavoe - died from AIDS 1993 - an interesting voice that sits well among the instruments for salsa - timbales, trombones, congas, clave. I guess he was a heroin addict. I guess that is how he got HIV - from intravenous drug use. He wore super 1970's suits, and looked kind of dorky, but in a cool way.
Cuatro player Yomo Toro made Christmas album, La Muerca with Willie Colon
Bill Graham - Jewish musician and dancer
Barbara Craddock - original Mambo dancer
Millie Donay - original Mambo dancer
Cuban Pete - original Mambo dancer, Roy Hernandez reminds me of him
Auggie Rodriguez and Margo Pato Ronay? - original Mambo dancers
Jerry Masuchi - founder of Fania Record label - assembled movie - Our Latin Thing, Anacaone - La Canterra
I got the sense that it was thought he was kind of a scoundrel, although, they never came out and said it. He died in 1993, "a rich man." Apparently some of the All Stars, including one who had written over 300 hits for the Fania All Stars, had to work a second job as a postman to make a living.
Ruben Blades - Panamanian lawyer turned singer, collaborated with Willie Colon. Has a beautiful voice, and was able to create imagery in Spanish lyrics that people enjoyed and could relate to.
Celia Cruz - Cuban singer later brought into Fania All Stars
Cheetah Club - Fania All Stars - "Birth of Salsa"
Johnny Bachecko
Roberto Rodriguez
Larry Spencer
Barry Roger
Reynaldo Jorge
Adalberto Santiago
Hector Lavoe
Roberto Roena
Johnny Pacheo
Orestes Vilato
Bobby Cruz
Santos Colon
Cheo Feliciano
From the Capitol City Salsa Festival - Dancers and Dance Groups I enjoyed:
Majesty in Motion from San Diego - super polished, I saw 2 couples
Salsa Y Control from Boston: didn't get to see them, but I heard they are awesome
Mi Ritmo Dance Company from Mexico: fun and raunchy super fast salsa dancing
Yamulee Dance Company from Bronx, NY
Paladium Mambo Legends: Freddy Rios and Mike Ramos: WOW
Connally HS Latin Dance: missed them, but saw them getting ready. They looked 25
Semeneya Dance Company from San Antonio: big troupe
reKreation Dance Company from Houston: huge group of kids hip hop influence
Jazzy Dance Company from Austin: DID and company. They were so awesome. Their spins and costumes. I like the song, too. It sounded familiar. I will ask DID what it was.
Troy Anthony was MC, but apparently he dances with his wife, Jorjet. She danced with another partner. They have a son about Hank's age. I think they live in New Orleans.
Oliver Pineda from Sydney: He did a barefoot solo. He was amazing.
Notes from Latin Music Series on PBS: (I probably have many names misspelled)
Enjoyed the first 2 installments the most - the birth and history of mambo and salsa
Mambo and Afro Cuban Music = "Jazz on Top/Traditional Cuban rhythyms on bottom"
I had not considered the African roots from recent history that permeate Cuba. People who look "black" to me, speak Spanish, and seem "Latino" to me that are Cuban. I was a little puzzled as to why Cuban and Puerto Rican immigrants in the 1950's congregated in NYC. Why not somewhere closer, like Florida? Was there more discrimination and less of a community established there at that time? Due to travel options by boat? It seems, although the rest of the country was still backwards and segregated, in certain neighborhoods in New York City, e.g. El Bario, "minorities" were able to live relatively freely, although, in pretty much poverty. And it seems there was an acceptance between the African and Latin ethnicities. And then us whiteys wanted in on it at the Palladium. Midtown Manhattan nightclub frequently by celebrities and the origins of the mambo (salsa "on 2")
Song Watermelon Man - Mongo Santamarin
Song Boogaloo Blues - Johnny Colon
"Boogaloo" as origin of salsa music
Song I like it like that - Pete Rodriguez
Song El Malo - Willie Colon, trombonist, cool, young kid from El Bario, NY, now a producer
lots of funny record covers playing up "gangster"
Singer Hector Lavoe - died from AIDS 1993 - an interesting voice that sits well among the instruments for salsa - timbales, trombones, congas, clave. I guess he was a heroin addict. I guess that is how he got HIV - from intravenous drug use. He wore super 1970's suits, and looked kind of dorky, but in a cool way.
Cuatro player Yomo Toro made Christmas album, La Muerca with Willie Colon
Bill Graham - Jewish musician and dancer
Barbara Craddock - original Mambo dancer
Millie Donay - original Mambo dancer
Cuban Pete - original Mambo dancer, Roy Hernandez reminds me of him
Auggie Rodriguez and Margo Pato Ronay? - original Mambo dancers
Jerry Masuchi - founder of Fania Record label - assembled movie - Our Latin Thing, Anacaone - La Canterra
I got the sense that it was thought he was kind of a scoundrel, although, they never came out and said it. He died in 1993, "a rich man." Apparently some of the All Stars, including one who had written over 300 hits for the Fania All Stars, had to work a second job as a postman to make a living.
Ruben Blades - Panamanian lawyer turned singer, collaborated with Willie Colon. Has a beautiful voice, and was able to create imagery in Spanish lyrics that people enjoyed and could relate to.
Celia Cruz - Cuban singer later brought into Fania All Stars
Cheetah Club - Fania All Stars - "Birth of Salsa"
Johnny Bachecko
Roberto Rodriguez
Larry Spencer
Barry Roger
Reynaldo Jorge
Adalberto Santiago
Hector Lavoe
Roberto Roena
Johnny Pacheo
Orestes Vilato
Bobby Cruz
Santos Colon
Cheo Feliciano
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Hello, World in November
Been busy with sick Hank, sick me, lots of personal training, cleaning, cooking. I think that about covers it. Oh, and reading any and every trashy magazine with anything related to Robert Pattinson or Twilight or Kristen Stewart. And fantasizing that I am the one and only fan that would not be irritating. I won't scream, I promise!
Regarding the recent tragedy at Fort Hood, I saw the breaking news broadcast and was so incredulous and sad. I said, "geezzzus!" And Hank said, "geezzzus!" Not at all funny, but kind of funny Hank picked that word to repeat. I tried to get him to say, "shit," yesterday, but no go. Don't worry, CPS, I won't be doing that, anymore!
Not pregnant. Kind of glad I don't happen to be pregnant this month so I don't just look fat for Showcase, but it wouldn't have been too fat. I would have just had some breasts.
The thing about the tank top is, I am not worried it's TOO sexy. I am worried mine doesn't look sexy at all! They went away I am telling you. This is prepubescent bs! OK, I'm fine. Not a big deal in the Universe. Just a very very minor irritation that was caused by the greatest Joy in my life. No Big Deal!
Can't wait for New Moon. Downloaded Midnight Sun (first 12 chapters). It can't be printed! LAME. I was able to print 2 chapters off some crazy site, but it took 9 million years, and I was getting grey hair. Those 2 chapters were great, though.
Really going to try to get to deja vu tomorrow night. Wanted to go last week, but was too tired.
I think I am done being irritated with DPB about not going. He's got his own stuff going on. Not about me AT ALL. And I really really really don't like it when I allow an irritation to come out sideways. Plus, it's a delusion men and women can be good friends. It's true if a man wants to be good friends with a woman, it's because he hopes, someday, they'll have sex. I know I have blabbed about this a lot, but it's an old idea I keep taking back. I, as a woman, can be friends with anyone, but if a man doesn't want to have sex with you, and he is straight, he is not going to spend very much time or energy on you. I don't think that one is right and one is wrong, I just think we are two different animals that sometimes communicate on some level that satisfies each of us. The rest of the time, we are puzzled with each other. I think Brad still thinks I can read his mind. "You have to verbalize your wants and needs. I don't know what they are from moment to moment." I know what the look of blankness usually means, but I don't know where it's coming from or what I should do differently, per se.
Dear XY's, we XX's need to be told, in words, what you want, what you need. I know we can't expect to hear how you feel, but maybe a happy or sad from time to time. We also need you to tell us the same things over and over again, because we forgot. Yes, you proposed, and that means you wanted to marry us, but in our minds, you could be fantasizing about divorce or anything other than being married to us since about 1 week after we got back from the honeymoon. Know what I mean? Please, humor us, just a little! We will sincerely try to lay off the waterworks when you say anything that could possibly be considered critical of us or anything in our general vicinity that is a direct reflection of us. : )
I was going to do some dance drills and finish watching The Recruit, which would SUCK without Colin Farrell, BTW. But, I am going to sleep. Sleepy!!!
Regarding the recent tragedy at Fort Hood, I saw the breaking news broadcast and was so incredulous and sad. I said, "geezzzus!" And Hank said, "geezzzus!" Not at all funny, but kind of funny Hank picked that word to repeat. I tried to get him to say, "shit," yesterday, but no go. Don't worry, CPS, I won't be doing that, anymore!
Not pregnant. Kind of glad I don't happen to be pregnant this month so I don't just look fat for Showcase, but it wouldn't have been too fat. I would have just had some breasts.
The thing about the tank top is, I am not worried it's TOO sexy. I am worried mine doesn't look sexy at all! They went away I am telling you. This is prepubescent bs! OK, I'm fine. Not a big deal in the Universe. Just a very very minor irritation that was caused by the greatest Joy in my life. No Big Deal!
Can't wait for New Moon. Downloaded Midnight Sun (first 12 chapters). It can't be printed! LAME. I was able to print 2 chapters off some crazy site, but it took 9 million years, and I was getting grey hair. Those 2 chapters were great, though.
Really going to try to get to deja vu tomorrow night. Wanted to go last week, but was too tired.
I think I am done being irritated with DPB about not going. He's got his own stuff going on. Not about me AT ALL. And I really really really don't like it when I allow an irritation to come out sideways. Plus, it's a delusion men and women can be good friends. It's true if a man wants to be good friends with a woman, it's because he hopes, someday, they'll have sex. I know I have blabbed about this a lot, but it's an old idea I keep taking back. I, as a woman, can be friends with anyone, but if a man doesn't want to have sex with you, and he is straight, he is not going to spend very much time or energy on you. I don't think that one is right and one is wrong, I just think we are two different animals that sometimes communicate on some level that satisfies each of us. The rest of the time, we are puzzled with each other. I think Brad still thinks I can read his mind. "You have to verbalize your wants and needs. I don't know what they are from moment to moment." I know what the look of blankness usually means, but I don't know where it's coming from or what I should do differently, per se.
Dear XY's, we XX's need to be told, in words, what you want, what you need. I know we can't expect to hear how you feel, but maybe a happy or sad from time to time. We also need you to tell us the same things over and over again, because we forgot. Yes, you proposed, and that means you wanted to marry us, but in our minds, you could be fantasizing about divorce or anything other than being married to us since about 1 week after we got back from the honeymoon. Know what I mean? Please, humor us, just a little! We will sincerely try to lay off the waterworks when you say anything that could possibly be considered critical of us or anything in our general vicinity that is a direct reflection of us. : )
I was going to do some dance drills and finish watching The Recruit, which would SUCK without Colin Farrell, BTW. But, I am going to sleep. Sleepy!!!
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