Last night made a little progress by just withdrawing when BH was in a mood. Without airing all our dirty laundry, this is the same place we have been since before we got married. It occurred to me this morning, beyond staying adult, which is going a little further than withdrawing, although in the moment I think I was relatively adult last night, I can be an advocate. It is challenging to stay adult and to not take it personally. However, I think I can do that. Beyond just struggling to stay in the present is, what does BH need from another person? It is clearer than ever that it is not about me, and is very much like -ism. The Jekyll and Hyde description from the Book comes to mind. And the Lovesong of J Alfred Prufrock for some reason. "That is not what I meant at all, that is not it at all." That's all I wanted to process with you, world.
In other news, read some of the Positive Discipline book during Hank's nap yesterday. Decided to put him on his mattress after he fell asleep last night. He is still there.
I was worried I was doing something to reinforce whining or eating cookies for lunch, but I don't think I am. Just like with the other situation, stay present, and don't take it personally. Oh, yeah, and be loving. I think I can do that, too.
Started a new bone health class at the J, yesterday. Seems like it will be a challenging and fun group. Also going to start back with the NC traveler next week - 2x/week.