Monday, February 08, 2010

excuse me, while I diatribe

Woke up this morning, to my alarm, angry about our healthcare system. People have anger because it motivates change. Sometimes I forget why we have certain negative affectivities. My situation is minute, obviously. Minutia. But, I was dreaming about decorating a bas-relief that illustrated the history of Nelson Mandela just before I woke up.
I have had maxillary sinus pain and a stuffed up ear for over a week. Went to a "new" but older doctor at Dr. Lamy's office last week. He was absolutely the antithesis of healthcare. Just wanted to employ his agenda and listened to nothing I said. Complimented me, hollowly, to pacify me, which was easier than normal to do because I wasn't feeling well. But he didn't listen to anything I had to say. Told me to do all the things I was already doing. I had attributed some tooth weird-feeling I noticed yesterday to not flossing a night or two last week, but no, I think it's referred maxillary sinus pain. Why would it be only on top if it were a flossing issue? What doctors don't get is, we patients have deductive reasoning, too. We have intelligence; we have experience. We have the benefit of experience with our own bodies! Here are the symptoms I have experienced many times. Many, many times. I agreed to do what he said (which was to continue to do what I was already doing, except, I was doing something more effective, additionally) because I was doubting my self and my experience. Not smart. Experience, being in the same place I have been before, in Health, in Spirit, in Life, is worth something. It has value. It doesn't mean one can predict the future, or that one has expertise in an area, but it does mean, I have been here before, and I know what I did that worked to change it! So, now, I have maxillary sinus pain that is in my upper jaw. Way to go, Dr. Harrison.
I had an appointment with my ENT, but he had to cancel and reschedule, and I haven't called back, yet. Yes, I will call this morning.

Meanwhile, I don't know which other quack to call. The problem with good doctors is that they are much harder to get into. My quacks, I can see the same day. If they will listen to me long enough, I can usually tell them what is wrong with me.

I will spare you all my opinions about prescription drugs. Although, I will tell you, I don't like being treated like a drug-addict when I request a drug that requires a prescription and has any efficacy beyond that of an over-the-counter drug. Yes, I am a recovered drug-addict, but in the over 14 years I have been sober, I have had ZERO desire to use a mind-altering chemical for recreation. ZERO. Yes, I have used prescription drugs as they have been prescribed. Some of them are mind-altering. Have I gotten high? No! Far from it. When I had my tonsils out, I was taking a narcotic, hydrocodone, suffering in great pain while taking the maximum dose. Called the doctor, my doctor was not on call, of course, and the on-call doctor would give me nothing else. Same thing with episiotomy. I realize it's all a liability issue for them. I don't have any sympathy for that. I am an individual. I am an individual with whom they have some history. If I wanted a drug to get high, (which I don't, and haven't for a LONG time, by the Grace of God and a Program of Recovery!) I would call a drug dealer. I would not call a doctor! Thank you. You have listened beyond what you should have been subject to. I am pissed and uncomfortable enough to take more action.
Meanwhile, finally had some alone time with BH where we were mostly both well. Despite my stuffiness, I don't feel bad. He is very good at having alone time, although it is often harder to get him to agree to do than it is to get a prescription drug from a doctor! I can enjoy HH's cuteness with 110% adulation when I have had a little break every once in a while.
Unfortunately, there were few leads at dv, though I had clearance to go. Got in a fancy 2-step and WCS, but other than that, it was a lot of basics of every other dance. Sometimes fine, but sometimes boring. At least not condescending. And talked with some follows. I suppose that is good to do from time to time.
Got my test written for my class. I think it is good and fair. I spent quite a bit of time on it. I wonder if all professors think this about their tests and power point presentations. I know Ed loved his .ppts. I am ok with that, except he wrote them in the early 1990's and still used them in the early 2000's.
Done. Done. Done. Life is good. These are luxury complaints and observations. Anger motivates change. It's not bad or wrong. Thank you, Mary S.

1 comment:

Chris said...

glad it worked out. to your better health, ml.