I don't like fox, foxnews, or now, foxsports. Couldn't watch the game, yesterday. Fell asleep while listening on the radio. Texas won. I have a star Longhorn in one of my classes....
Don't have much to say, just had a little time before the J and have currently caught up on most of my school preps. Watched some of the Buena Vista Social Club movie yesterday. We've been talking in classes about the relationship between wealth and health in US, and I think it's a different story in Cuba. No one has any money, and there is federally funded healthcare. The Cuban musicians who played on the grammy-winning album were between 60-90 years old, life-long cigars smokers, and smiling from ear to ear every time they were caught on camera. It seems the deadly combination for folks is to be poor and move to the US. Although, of course, the universal healthcare is probably the common denominator of health every where else in the world. Newly immigrated folks fare better on health than average Americans for their first 5 years here. After that, they quickly surpass "average" Americans on chronic diseases. It seems, until we do get universal healthcare here, that the only hope is to teach mind/body stress management techniques. And Martin Seligman's learned optimism skills.
Speaking of poor, I decided to stop taking dance classes and lessons until further notice. I am sad about it, but think it's the right thing to do. Have been trying to get in 30 minutes of aerobic exercise most days of the week since I got my 1-hour glucose tolerance test results back. Although, gestational diabetes does not have the behavioral causes that type II diabetes does. In fact, I have none of the risk factors. However, it is a hormonal response to pregnancy hormones and sometimes insulin production cannot keep up with the glucose needed to grow the fetus. They did take my blood 10 minutes early, but I don't think the full hour would have gotten me under the limit. I have to go for the 3 hour test on Friday. A drag. I hope I can sleep between draws. 3 hours is a long time to waste. I've been totally out of reading mode, lately.
Hank is starting to get used to the ECP. It's been 2 weeks. Brad has been taking him in the mornings. He cries on the way to school, but apparently cries not at all or much less after Brad passes him off. It is challenging. I don't want him to think we are discounting his feelings. I do want him to be able to be comforted by others or by himself, but I don't know if this is the right time to do it. I suppose if he cried during the day or long after Brad left, there would be more reason to be concerned. And I guess 2 year-olds don't know how to stuff their feelings. I've been trying not to think about it and trust he is in the care of loving adults and gaining valuable life skills. When I pick him up he looks content or involved in come activity. That seems like a good sign. He loves making challah on Thursdays, and they have been making it with chocolate chips! That's a pretty sure way to earn his approval. My dad used to say about me, I would eat sawdust, if it had enough salt and grease on it. I disagree, but I do think Hank would eat anything so long as the main ingredient were chocolate chips. Brad, too, for that matter.
Did you know Ramadan just ended?
Eid-Al-Fitr (End of Ramadan): September 10, 2010
And the first of the High Holy Days in Judaism just ended. Happy 5571!
I like tradition and ritual. I don't like seemingly antiquated or random "rules." I don't like paying lip-service to something I don't endorse. I don't think there is a religion that already suits me. The Episcopal church comes close, but it comes closer in the way it is practiced than the way it is written. E.g. The Nicene Creed (Did you know that is 1700 years old)? I don't believe Jesus is the only son of God. I don't believe there is only one Apostolic church. I know nothing about Muhammed and can't say he isn't God's son. Or the Divinity of Mary, Mother Theresa, or plenty of anonymous folks who regularly engage in Divine acts.
I also don't think God cares anymore if we mix up the plates for meat and dairy, but it was a good idea to keep them separate before the industrial revolution and pasteurization. I think tradition can adapt. Can't it? It seems humans of all ages are comforted by sameness and ritual day after changing day. Like Groundhog Day. Like watching the same episode of Caillou over and over and OVER. : )
I like going to church for the organ music, a few of the convocations, a few of the prayers, and sometimes the reminders the sermon provides. I don't like reciting things I don't think are true - I don't want to be inauthentic AND I don't want to feel a part from.
I don't think there is a church with big enough arms AND high enough ritual for me. One of my favorite things about Judaism is that so much ritual is in the home. I want to engage in that. I guess the thing is to begin today.
I have been able to maintain a Groundhog Day attitude regarding Brad and our differences. I guess it's only one difference, and it is a difference of opinion about what something should look like. We have been at an impasse regarding this issue in particular, which he worries about more than I will, basically, from I do. I feel able to enjoy his company despite not enjoying his attitude or behavior regarding the issue. It seems he cannot quite let go of what he thinks about me long enough to enjoy me for very long. I feel peaceful that I am doing my best, and that is all I can do. I know he is doing his best, too. Even though, I suppose we each have different opinions about what's the others' best should look like. That is a divider.
I think quitting dancing was my way of stepping across the line towards him. I don't need a standing ovation, but I would like some acknowledgment of my grief. Choices the other one makes are personal and not really the others' business. I also think what I think and how I feel are not up for debate. I sometimes feel invaded that he has telepathically interpreted my thought processes and decided they are incorrect. Thought processes are none of the others' business. Whatever mental and/or spiritual path I take to I get to where I am is legal. When the family is affected by the actions of a member, of course, the line is very blurry. And, I suppose my perceptions must be cloudy because I mostly hang around people above my SES, which makes me feel frugal in comparison. I don't get my hair done, makeup, facials, massage, mani-pedis, go out to eat, buy clothes (very often, and I never pay retail!), have the latest electronic gadget, have cable tv, go to expensive activities by myself or with HH. I am pretty sure other women do some or all of these things because I either hear about them and see they have been done. I suppose just because I do not do the "norm," whatever that is, does not mean the norm is "correct," or the way I should do it. And, I guess I need to recommit myself to the Your Money or Your Life techniques. I think I got rid of a lot of stuff I didn't need after reading that book for the second time. Maybe I can get to a deeper level this time. It is the new year, after all. 5571!
OK, don't panic. Today is a day we must carry the message. Man, double a would be my perfect church if we had a couple of organ hymns during the meeting...But, I suppose that would scare the shit out of newcomers. haha
Trust God, Clean House, Help Others.