Friday, March 04, 2016
Screen free day
Today is screen free Friday. It could also be called children's torture day they protect so much. I know that means they have way too much screen time. I like watching screens w them I guess bc that's how my parents and I spent time together. We didn't do much else together. Once I got old enough I went to park by myself or played w friends by myself. We didn't do family activities. I have a hard time thinking of creative ideas to do w them so we are just being together enjoying each other's company. I catch myself thinking if we can just get through this rather than enjoying being in it. I get really mad at myself about that. I also want to love them and be loving even when they are not doing what I want or doing something I don't want. I want to let them be upset then be able to move on. Whatever we're doing w them regarding that is not working very well. I try to mirror them and let them yell and be upset. This seems like the right direction, but it seems to take a long time for them to calm down. Maybe it's just the right amount of time. I don't know. I don't remember getting upset about things like they do. I was super sensitive like Hank and cried pretty easily, but I don't remember freaking out like they do. I wonder if they have a hard time calming down bc B and I never get very worked up about anything. So they don't have an example to follow. I just want them to be able to process negative emotions so they don't turn to external substances whatever they may be to fix it. I need to not try to control everything.