Back to "normal" with everything. Showcase is over. It went awesomely. I was surprised how well it went. I am ready for another dance project. My friend and I are back to fine. I wonder about my sanity and my motives. It's a dance. I think I might be an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. (Just kidding, I know I am).
Got a sweet card and presents from DID and DIT. Took some bachata, country waltz, two-step, and triple two lessons, yesterday. I hope I get to a lot of classes starting in January. DIT approved me for level 2 on the country classes.
Going to Dallas today for a few days after working for 5 whole hours this morning. Good thing I woke up so ridiculously early before the alarm.
Enjoying renting Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes from Netflix.
Enjoying a new awareness about reality with others. (It seems when other people are doing or are stuck in what I want to avoid, I am able to see it, and without judgement, see the solution). Maybe, someday, I will be able to do this for myself.
Grateful for 5 minutes at a time. And one day at a time.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
guilty pleasures
Something that entertains me, even in the darkest hours, is to read English written with poor grammar, or by someone for whom English is a second language. It crack me up when nothing else will. I ordered some books from amazon.fr. I hope a French person will enjoy my musings.
J'ai acheté deux livres en français a amazon.fr. [I don't have the accents for all the letters. That probably won't be very funny]. Je n'ai jamais lit aucun de livres de Jackie Collins, mais, je pense que le genre de ces livres est comme ça. Je n'aime pas les livres de romance en Anglais, mais, je veux parler français, encore, donc j'ai pensé que lire d'etre une bonne ideé.
J'ai acheté deux livres en français a amazon.fr. [I don't have the accents for all the letters. That probably won't be very funny]. Je n'ai jamais lit aucun de livres de Jackie Collins, mais, je pense que le genre de ces livres est comme ça. Je n'aime pas les livres de romance en Anglais, mais, je veux parler français, encore, donc j'ai pensé que lire d'etre une bonne ideé.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
dress rehearsal vids
Thanks to Claus for videoing for me.
Had a tough day, yesterday.
I'll have to put the Lindy one on YouTube. It's big and long.
I did better with the smiling, and I didn't say sorry when I messed up. But, my arms were super goofy, and I almost fell over at the very beginning. My little pivot turn was TOO zealous. DIT was SO sweet. He is awesome!
Had a tough day, yesterday.
I'll have to put the Lindy one on YouTube. It's big and long.
I did better with the smiling, and I didn't say sorry when I messed up. But, my arms were super goofy, and I almost fell over at the very beginning. My little pivot turn was TOO zealous. DIT was SO sweet. He is awesome!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Approaching the Rumba
TOTALLY messed up the spot turn (forgot to let go of Tommy). Need to get my shoulders back. Smile bigger. Hips are getting there, and the feet. And my arms are coming along. Ready for dress rehearsal on Saturday!!! The only thing I feel nervous about is can I "act." Like getting into the drama of the dance to make it entertaining. I hope I can do it. I see what Richard means about making it big. It could be bigger. I need more flexible hips. Working on it.
I'll put a picture of my dress up, soon!
I'll put a picture of my dress up, soon!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
up after dream
had such a detailed and crazy dream this morning. I assume as a result of my breaking up with DID, yesterday. I actually didn't do it myself, to avoid wishy-washily ending up not breaking up. it was almost as yucky feeling as breaking up with Reed. something sick, I suppose. according to the 3rd party who did the communicating, DID was very understanding. consequently, we are not doing the cha cha at showcase. now, just the Rumba with DIT, which is coming along, the LB team, and a half of another thing. decided to go ahead and get up to get some writing done on my secret novel. wrote down the whole dream, first.
LBPB and I are becoming friends, and it is helping me look at him while dancing. last week, I quoted Blue Velvet to him (Dennis Hopper) to ask him not to look at me while dancing. it was even funnier that he has not seen Blue Velvet. but he looked just over my ear, and it was cracking me up. but I could look directly at him. haha. we have a LOT in common. a LOT.
LBPB and I are becoming friends, and it is helping me look at him while dancing. last week, I quoted Blue Velvet to him (Dennis Hopper) to ask him not to look at me while dancing. it was even funnier that he has not seen Blue Velvet. but he looked just over my ear, and it was cracking me up. but I could look directly at him. haha. we have a LOT in common. a LOT.
Monday, November 16, 2009
swing turned salsa dress success
Wore my black swing dress for the black and white salsa bday party for DID and Becca. I thought BH looked annoyed when I left, but maybe it was my imagination. Because he wasn't annoyed when I got home. wink wink nudge nudge say no more...
Didn't get to do that much dancing, but got a little in and felt pretty coordinated.
LB team practice was fun Sat. LBPB 2-stepped me a little between our lindy and blues practicing. That's fun with moments of success. I wish I could go to 2-step class. LBPB said he may resume salsa. That would be fun to practice more, too!
I am VERY sleepy this morning, however. Still have debris in my sinuses as does Hank, but we are both continuing to improve. Poor little guy can't loogee. I have no idea how to spell that. He does go over to the edge of the porch when we are outside, however. And he cutely makes a spitting noise and the body and head movement of spitting without actually spitting.
Busy morning. 2 peeps at J, 2 peeps at their respective houses, to Don's, to JCAA. 6 hole hours of working outside the home!
Didn't get to do that much dancing, but got a little in and felt pretty coordinated.
LB team practice was fun Sat. LBPB 2-stepped me a little between our lindy and blues practicing. That's fun with moments of success. I wish I could go to 2-step class. LBPB said he may resume salsa. That would be fun to practice more, too!
I am VERY sleepy this morning, however. Still have debris in my sinuses as does Hank, but we are both continuing to improve. Poor little guy can't loogee. I have no idea how to spell that. He does go over to the edge of the porch when we are outside, however. And he cutely makes a spitting noise and the body and head movement of spitting without actually spitting.
Busy morning. 2 peeps at J, 2 peeps at their respective houses, to Don's, to JCAA. 6 hole hours of working outside the home!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Robert Pattinson mags
December issues of VF (more pics up here, recently) and Bazaar are out with RPattz on cover. I already read both, and learned nothing beyond what my cheaper and trashier OK magazines told me. I am SO glad I don't read fashion magazine, anymore. It makes me so much more peaceful and self-accepting. All those air-brushed legs, butts, and faces. And products I don't need that are a waste of money.
And, they pretty much showed us all the pictures on their websites. Well, they still got me to buy 2 magazines. Touché!
One more boring story. Yesterday, Sarah was trying out a $1700 competition dress (she a pro and a teacher at Go Dance). She looked absolutely beautiful. She is always beautiful, but the dress was skimpy, but not slutty, and the C&W tan boots looked great with the dress. And she just looked amazing. I was very happy I could appreciate her beauty without thinking, "I wish I looked like that." Didn't occur to me. That's progress!
And, they pretty much showed us all the pictures on their websites. Well, they still got me to buy 2 magazines. Touché!
One more boring story. Yesterday, Sarah was trying out a $1700 competition dress (she a pro and a teacher at Go Dance). She looked absolutely beautiful. She is always beautiful, but the dress was skimpy, but not slutty, and the C&W tan boots looked great with the dress. And she just looked amazing. I was very happy I could appreciate her beauty without thinking, "I wish I looked like that." Didn't occur to me. That's progress!
too early
Some people stay up too late; I get up too early.
Think how much money the world could save on coffee if we simply got adequate sleep...
Yeah, heavy.
My nose is waking me up. Went to doc, again, yesterday. My GP, who is probably over 65 and semi-retired knew what the latest research on sinus infections was. Impressive. He said most sinus infections are viral, but he gave me 5 days of antibiotic, anyway. I told him I didn't have prescription insurance, so he gave me samples. Fascinating, I know. But, nice. I'm also using Veramist nasal spray, Astapro nasal spray, Claritin-D. When I went to fill my prescription for cough med (so I can sleep without drainage, which did work for 6 hours).
I wanted to buy more Claritin-D because I knew I was running low. Not low enough, apparently, because she could only sell me 5 tablets without exceeding my limit for pseudoephedrine products. I know meth use is a terrible epidemic, and if the ingredients are readily available, that makes it easier to make. But, geez, people, your drug dependence is screwing with my sinuses! Plus, meth is yucky. (haha, as if making your own meth using cold medicine isn't a bad enough problem). I would guess people who make it themselves sell it, too. But, I don't know. More on that subject, I heard an author speaking about meth use in the midwest. He told the very tragic story of a guy who made meth in his house. Accidentally set his house on fire. Was burned. When police came, he asked them to shoot him. They didn't. He lived. Has no fingers. Ugh. SO sad. And, now is back on meth. UGH, so sad. So grateful to be sober!!! Thank you, God and Universe.
I googled meth use biography ohio and got this book review. I think this is the book. Another blogger. Hello, other blogger. Is your mom the only person who reads your blog, too? (And BMM, thank you for your patronage).
Had lessons with DID and DIT, yesterday. I had warned DID via facebook that I might be a little vulnerable. I don't know if he had read it before our lesson or not, but he was nice. And, although I felt like I was starting over cha cha at times, I also felt some improvement. I have a hard time telling what are rubber-bandy arms and what are too loose or too stiff. I NEED SOMEONE WITH WHOM I CAN PRACTICE.
Lesson with DIT was also fun. Tried the dress. I am going to rip and sew a slit up the right side to show off particular parts of the routine. Thinking about getting a new sewing machine.
Any product suggestions? Maybe google ads will give me some. The hug is actually get a lot better. It looks good. It's just getting out of the hug I am having a hard time with. I get my foot stuck on DIT's foot or I look silly taking my arms overhead. We are starting to add arms styling, one of which is me running my hand across his chest. Just seems silly and weird to me. But, he's the teacher, and I will defer to his expertise. DIT is so sweet. I don't think I have ever seen him even get irritated. And it doesn't seem like he's faking being happy. He said sometimes he does feel grumpy. He must be able to get out of it pretty quickly. Unlike DID and I - M O O D Y.
BH is moody, too!
Hank's been sleeping on his mattress at night. He fell off one night, and I put him back in our bed because he was irritated and I wanted to go back to sleep. I mentioned moving back downstairs to Brad. We could use the upstairs as an office/rec room. Put the tv and sofa up there, in addition to our desks. We could use the armoir thing as a divider. Wow, that is a good idea. We need to update the electrical and put in insulation if we move down here, though.
Anyone know a cheap electrician? Probably not. The guy we used to wire the shed, who did a great job, BTW, was not a full-blown electrician. I.e., he was supposed to work under someone else's supervision. Of course, to get there requires a certain number of hours working under the head electrician for quite a bit less money. He was doing that, too to get his hours in. I saw him on the news getting busted for placing an ad on craigslist. Fox news, I'm sure. I understand the reason the law is in place, but if an individual decides to use a craftsman, he should be allowed to choose him, knowing how qualified (or un) he is. Maybe our guy is full-blown, now.
I know, this is a boring post today. Well, no news is good news.
Think how much money the world could save on coffee if we simply got adequate sleep...
Yeah, heavy.
My nose is waking me up. Went to doc, again, yesterday. My GP, who is probably over 65 and semi-retired knew what the latest research on sinus infections was. Impressive. He said most sinus infections are viral, but he gave me 5 days of antibiotic, anyway. I told him I didn't have prescription insurance, so he gave me samples. Fascinating, I know. But, nice. I'm also using Veramist nasal spray, Astapro nasal spray, Claritin-D. When I went to fill my prescription for cough med (so I can sleep without drainage, which did work for 6 hours).
I wanted to buy more Claritin-D because I knew I was running low. Not low enough, apparently, because she could only sell me 5 tablets without exceeding my limit for pseudoephedrine products. I know meth use is a terrible epidemic, and if the ingredients are readily available, that makes it easier to make. But, geez, people, your drug dependence is screwing with my sinuses! Plus, meth is yucky. (haha, as if making your own meth using cold medicine isn't a bad enough problem). I would guess people who make it themselves sell it, too. But, I don't know. More on that subject, I heard an author speaking about meth use in the midwest. He told the very tragic story of a guy who made meth in his house. Accidentally set his house on fire. Was burned. When police came, he asked them to shoot him. They didn't. He lived. Has no fingers. Ugh. SO sad. And, now is back on meth. UGH, so sad. So grateful to be sober!!! Thank you, God and Universe.
I googled meth use biography ohio and got this book review. I think this is the book. Another blogger. Hello, other blogger. Is your mom the only person who reads your blog, too? (And BMM, thank you for your patronage).
Had lessons with DID and DIT, yesterday. I had warned DID via facebook that I might be a little vulnerable. I don't know if he had read it before our lesson or not, but he was nice. And, although I felt like I was starting over cha cha at times, I also felt some improvement. I have a hard time telling what are rubber-bandy arms and what are too loose or too stiff. I NEED SOMEONE WITH WHOM I CAN PRACTICE.
Lesson with DIT was also fun. Tried the dress. I am going to rip and sew a slit up the right side to show off particular parts of the routine. Thinking about getting a new sewing machine.
Any product suggestions? Maybe google ads will give me some. The hug is actually get a lot better. It looks good. It's just getting out of the hug I am having a hard time with. I get my foot stuck on DIT's foot or I look silly taking my arms overhead. We are starting to add arms styling, one of which is me running my hand across his chest. Just seems silly and weird to me. But, he's the teacher, and I will defer to his expertise. DIT is so sweet. I don't think I have ever seen him even get irritated. And it doesn't seem like he's faking being happy. He said sometimes he does feel grumpy. He must be able to get out of it pretty quickly. Unlike DID and I - M O O D Y.
BH is moody, too!
Hank's been sleeping on his mattress at night. He fell off one night, and I put him back in our bed because he was irritated and I wanted to go back to sleep. I mentioned moving back downstairs to Brad. We could use the upstairs as an office/rec room. Put the tv and sofa up there, in addition to our desks. We could use the armoir thing as a divider. Wow, that is a good idea. We need to update the electrical and put in insulation if we move down here, though.
Anyone know a cheap electrician? Probably not. The guy we used to wire the shed, who did a great job, BTW, was not a full-blown electrician. I.e., he was supposed to work under someone else's supervision. Of course, to get there requires a certain number of hours working under the head electrician for quite a bit less money. He was doing that, too to get his hours in. I saw him on the news getting busted for placing an ad on craigslist. Fox news, I'm sure. I understand the reason the law is in place, but if an individual decides to use a craftsman, he should be allowed to choose him, knowing how qualified (or un) he is. Maybe our guy is full-blown, now.
I know, this is a boring post today. Well, no news is good news.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Flickr
I organized my flickr photos better this morning. Important stuff.
Woke up too early due to my sinuses running.
I feel fine. May go back to doc to see if antibiotic is actually working.
See if this works. Remember, it's an archive. EVERYTHING including the dog's dog and the dog's kitchen sink are there.
flickr
Annoyed with myself that I am letting what I think someone else's feelings about me are is occupying my thoughts and feelings. Reminder: do not yell at self to tell self to stop thinking about something. Dear Meredith, You are ok. You are doing the best you can. I like you. You are nice. Take care of me. Don't yell at me. Love, Self.
Get to have lessons with DIT and DID, today. Going to try out the rumba dress a little.
Woke up too early due to my sinuses running.
I feel fine. May go back to doc to see if antibiotic is actually working.
See if this works. Remember, it's an archive. EVERYTHING including the dog's dog and the dog's kitchen sink are there.
flickr
Annoyed with myself that I am letting what I think someone else's feelings about me are is occupying my thoughts and feelings. Reminder: do not yell at self to tell self to stop thinking about something. Dear Meredith, You are ok. You are doing the best you can. I like you. You are nice. Take care of me. Don't yell at me. Love, Self.
Get to have lessons with DIT and DID, today. Going to try out the rumba dress a little.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
without don henley
Last night made a little progress by just withdrawing when BH was in a mood. Without airing all our dirty laundry, this is the same place we have been since before we got married. It occurred to me this morning, beyond staying adult, which is going a little further than withdrawing, although in the moment I think I was relatively adult last night, I can be an advocate. It is challenging to stay adult and to not take it personally. However, I think I can do that. Beyond just struggling to stay in the present is, what does BH need from another person? It is clearer than ever that it is not about me, and is very much like -ism. The Jekyll and Hyde description from the Book comes to mind. And the Lovesong of J Alfred Prufrock for some reason. "That is not what I meant at all, that is not it at all." That's all I wanted to process with you, world.
In other news, read some of the Positive Discipline book during Hank's nap yesterday. Decided to put him on his mattress after he fell asleep last night. He is still there.
I was worried I was doing something to reinforce whining or eating cookies for lunch, but I don't think I am. Just like with the other situation, stay present, and don't take it personally. Oh, yeah, and be loving. I think I can do that, too.
Started a new bone health class at the J, yesterday. Seems like it will be a challenging and fun group. Also going to start back with the NC traveler next week - 2x/week.
In other news, read some of the Positive Discipline book during Hank's nap yesterday. Decided to put him on his mattress after he fell asleep last night. He is still there.
I was worried I was doing something to reinforce whining or eating cookies for lunch, but I don't think I am. Just like with the other situation, stay present, and don't take it personally. Oh, yeah, and be loving. I think I can do that, too.
Started a new bone health class at the J, yesterday. Seems like it will be a challenging and fun group. Also going to start back with the NC traveler next week - 2x/week.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 09, 2009
Latin Music and Dance Notes
Been meaning to make note of these things for future reference:
From the Capitol City Salsa Festival - Dancers and Dance Groups I enjoyed:
Majesty in Motion from San Diego - super polished, I saw 2 couples
Salsa Y Control from Boston: didn't get to see them, but I heard they are awesome
Mi Ritmo Dance Company from Mexico: fun and raunchy super fast salsa dancing
Yamulee Dance Company from Bronx, NY
Paladium Mambo Legends: Freddy Rios and Mike Ramos: WOW
Connally HS Latin Dance: missed them, but saw them getting ready. They looked 25
Semeneya Dance Company from San Antonio: big troupe
reKreation Dance Company from Houston: huge group of kids hip hop influence
Jazzy Dance Company from Austin: DID and company. They were so awesome. Their spins and costumes. I like the song, too. It sounded familiar. I will ask DID what it was.
Troy Anthony was MC, but apparently he dances with his wife, Jorjet. She danced with another partner. They have a son about Hank's age. I think they live in New Orleans.
Oliver Pineda from Sydney: He did a barefoot solo. He was amazing.
Notes from Latin Music Series on PBS: (I probably have many names misspelled)
Enjoyed the first 2 installments the most - the birth and history of mambo and salsa
Mambo and Afro Cuban Music = "Jazz on Top/Traditional Cuban rhythyms on bottom"
I had not considered the African roots from recent history that permeate Cuba. People who look "black" to me, speak Spanish, and seem "Latino" to me that are Cuban. I was a little puzzled as to why Cuban and Puerto Rican immigrants in the 1950's congregated in NYC. Why not somewhere closer, like Florida? Was there more discrimination and less of a community established there at that time? Due to travel options by boat? It seems, although the rest of the country was still backwards and segregated, in certain neighborhoods in New York City, e.g. El Bario, "minorities" were able to live relatively freely, although, in pretty much poverty. And it seems there was an acceptance between the African and Latin ethnicities. And then us whiteys wanted in on it at the Palladium. Midtown Manhattan nightclub frequently by celebrities and the origins of the mambo (salsa "on 2")
Song Watermelon Man - Mongo Santamarin
Song Boogaloo Blues - Johnny Colon
"Boogaloo" as origin of salsa music
Song I like it like that - Pete Rodriguez
Song El Malo - Willie Colon, trombonist, cool, young kid from El Bario, NY, now a producer
lots of funny record covers playing up "gangster"
Singer Hector Lavoe - died from AIDS 1993 - an interesting voice that sits well among the instruments for salsa - timbales, trombones, congas, clave. I guess he was a heroin addict. I guess that is how he got HIV - from intravenous drug use. He wore super 1970's suits, and looked kind of dorky, but in a cool way.
Cuatro player Yomo Toro made Christmas album, La Muerca with Willie Colon
Bill Graham - Jewish musician and dancer
Barbara Craddock - original Mambo dancer
Millie Donay - original Mambo dancer
Cuban Pete - original Mambo dancer, Roy Hernandez reminds me of him
Auggie Rodriguez and Margo Pato Ronay? - original Mambo dancers
Jerry Masuchi - founder of Fania Record label - assembled movie - Our Latin Thing, Anacaone - La Canterra
I got the sense that it was thought he was kind of a scoundrel, although, they never came out and said it. He died in 1993, "a rich man." Apparently some of the All Stars, including one who had written over 300 hits for the Fania All Stars, had to work a second job as a postman to make a living.
Ruben Blades - Panamanian lawyer turned singer, collaborated with Willie Colon. Has a beautiful voice, and was able to create imagery in Spanish lyrics that people enjoyed and could relate to.
Celia Cruz - Cuban singer later brought into Fania All Stars
Cheetah Club - Fania All Stars - "Birth of Salsa"
Johnny Bachecko
Roberto Rodriguez
Larry Spencer
Barry Roger
Reynaldo Jorge
Adalberto Santiago
Hector Lavoe
Roberto Roena
Johnny Pacheo
Orestes Vilato
Bobby Cruz
Santos Colon
Cheo Feliciano
From the Capitol City Salsa Festival - Dancers and Dance Groups I enjoyed:
Majesty in Motion from San Diego - super polished, I saw 2 couples
Salsa Y Control from Boston: didn't get to see them, but I heard they are awesome
Mi Ritmo Dance Company from Mexico: fun and raunchy super fast salsa dancing
Yamulee Dance Company from Bronx, NY
Paladium Mambo Legends: Freddy Rios and Mike Ramos: WOW
Connally HS Latin Dance: missed them, but saw them getting ready. They looked 25
Semeneya Dance Company from San Antonio: big troupe
reKreation Dance Company from Houston: huge group of kids hip hop influence
Jazzy Dance Company from Austin: DID and company. They were so awesome. Their spins and costumes. I like the song, too. It sounded familiar. I will ask DID what it was.
Troy Anthony was MC, but apparently he dances with his wife, Jorjet. She danced with another partner. They have a son about Hank's age. I think they live in New Orleans.
Oliver Pineda from Sydney: He did a barefoot solo. He was amazing.
Notes from Latin Music Series on PBS: (I probably have many names misspelled)
Enjoyed the first 2 installments the most - the birth and history of mambo and salsa
Mambo and Afro Cuban Music = "Jazz on Top/Traditional Cuban rhythyms on bottom"
I had not considered the African roots from recent history that permeate Cuba. People who look "black" to me, speak Spanish, and seem "Latino" to me that are Cuban. I was a little puzzled as to why Cuban and Puerto Rican immigrants in the 1950's congregated in NYC. Why not somewhere closer, like Florida? Was there more discrimination and less of a community established there at that time? Due to travel options by boat? It seems, although the rest of the country was still backwards and segregated, in certain neighborhoods in New York City, e.g. El Bario, "minorities" were able to live relatively freely, although, in pretty much poverty. And it seems there was an acceptance between the African and Latin ethnicities. And then us whiteys wanted in on it at the Palladium. Midtown Manhattan nightclub frequently by celebrities and the origins of the mambo (salsa "on 2")
Song Watermelon Man - Mongo Santamarin
Song Boogaloo Blues - Johnny Colon
"Boogaloo" as origin of salsa music
Song I like it like that - Pete Rodriguez
Song El Malo - Willie Colon, trombonist, cool, young kid from El Bario, NY, now a producer
lots of funny record covers playing up "gangster"
Singer Hector Lavoe - died from AIDS 1993 - an interesting voice that sits well among the instruments for salsa - timbales, trombones, congas, clave. I guess he was a heroin addict. I guess that is how he got HIV - from intravenous drug use. He wore super 1970's suits, and looked kind of dorky, but in a cool way.
Cuatro player Yomo Toro made Christmas album, La Muerca with Willie Colon
Bill Graham - Jewish musician and dancer
Barbara Craddock - original Mambo dancer
Millie Donay - original Mambo dancer
Cuban Pete - original Mambo dancer, Roy Hernandez reminds me of him
Auggie Rodriguez and Margo Pato Ronay? - original Mambo dancers
Jerry Masuchi - founder of Fania Record label - assembled movie - Our Latin Thing, Anacaone - La Canterra
I got the sense that it was thought he was kind of a scoundrel, although, they never came out and said it. He died in 1993, "a rich man." Apparently some of the All Stars, including one who had written over 300 hits for the Fania All Stars, had to work a second job as a postman to make a living.
Ruben Blades - Panamanian lawyer turned singer, collaborated with Willie Colon. Has a beautiful voice, and was able to create imagery in Spanish lyrics that people enjoyed and could relate to.
Celia Cruz - Cuban singer later brought into Fania All Stars
Cheetah Club - Fania All Stars - "Birth of Salsa"
Johnny Bachecko
Roberto Rodriguez
Larry Spencer
Barry Roger
Reynaldo Jorge
Adalberto Santiago
Hector Lavoe
Roberto Roena
Johnny Pacheo
Orestes Vilato
Bobby Cruz
Santos Colon
Cheo Feliciano
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Hello, World in November
Been busy with sick Hank, sick me, lots of personal training, cleaning, cooking. I think that about covers it. Oh, and reading any and every trashy magazine with anything related to Robert Pattinson or Twilight or Kristen Stewart. And fantasizing that I am the one and only fan that would not be irritating. I won't scream, I promise!
Regarding the recent tragedy at Fort Hood, I saw the breaking news broadcast and was so incredulous and sad. I said, "geezzzus!" And Hank said, "geezzzus!" Not at all funny, but kind of funny Hank picked that word to repeat. I tried to get him to say, "shit," yesterday, but no go. Don't worry, CPS, I won't be doing that, anymore!
Not pregnant. Kind of glad I don't happen to be pregnant this month so I don't just look fat for Showcase, but it wouldn't have been too fat. I would have just had some breasts.
The thing about the tank top is, I am not worried it's TOO sexy. I am worried mine doesn't look sexy at all! They went away I am telling you. This is prepubescent bs! OK, I'm fine. Not a big deal in the Universe. Just a very very minor irritation that was caused by the greatest Joy in my life. No Big Deal!
Can't wait for New Moon. Downloaded Midnight Sun (first 12 chapters). It can't be printed! LAME. I was able to print 2 chapters off some crazy site, but it took 9 million years, and I was getting grey hair. Those 2 chapters were great, though.
Really going to try to get to deja vu tomorrow night. Wanted to go last week, but was too tired.
I think I am done being irritated with DPB about not going. He's got his own stuff going on. Not about me AT ALL. And I really really really don't like it when I allow an irritation to come out sideways. Plus, it's a delusion men and women can be good friends. It's true if a man wants to be good friends with a woman, it's because he hopes, someday, they'll have sex. I know I have blabbed about this a lot, but it's an old idea I keep taking back. I, as a woman, can be friends with anyone, but if a man doesn't want to have sex with you, and he is straight, he is not going to spend very much time or energy on you. I don't think that one is right and one is wrong, I just think we are two different animals that sometimes communicate on some level that satisfies each of us. The rest of the time, we are puzzled with each other. I think Brad still thinks I can read his mind. "You have to verbalize your wants and needs. I don't know what they are from moment to moment." I know what the look of blankness usually means, but I don't know where it's coming from or what I should do differently, per se.
Dear XY's, we XX's need to be told, in words, what you want, what you need. I know we can't expect to hear how you feel, but maybe a happy or sad from time to time. We also need you to tell us the same things over and over again, because we forgot. Yes, you proposed, and that means you wanted to marry us, but in our minds, you could be fantasizing about divorce or anything other than being married to us since about 1 week after we got back from the honeymoon. Know what I mean? Please, humor us, just a little! We will sincerely try to lay off the waterworks when you say anything that could possibly be considered critical of us or anything in our general vicinity that is a direct reflection of us. : )
I was going to do some dance drills and finish watching The Recruit, which would SUCK without Colin Farrell, BTW. But, I am going to sleep. Sleepy!!!
Regarding the recent tragedy at Fort Hood, I saw the breaking news broadcast and was so incredulous and sad. I said, "geezzzus!" And Hank said, "geezzzus!" Not at all funny, but kind of funny Hank picked that word to repeat. I tried to get him to say, "shit," yesterday, but no go. Don't worry, CPS, I won't be doing that, anymore!
Not pregnant. Kind of glad I don't happen to be pregnant this month so I don't just look fat for Showcase, but it wouldn't have been too fat. I would have just had some breasts.
The thing about the tank top is, I am not worried it's TOO sexy. I am worried mine doesn't look sexy at all! They went away I am telling you. This is prepubescent bs! OK, I'm fine. Not a big deal in the Universe. Just a very very minor irritation that was caused by the greatest Joy in my life. No Big Deal!
Can't wait for New Moon. Downloaded Midnight Sun (first 12 chapters). It can't be printed! LAME. I was able to print 2 chapters off some crazy site, but it took 9 million years, and I was getting grey hair. Those 2 chapters were great, though.
Really going to try to get to deja vu tomorrow night. Wanted to go last week, but was too tired.
I think I am done being irritated with DPB about not going. He's got his own stuff going on. Not about me AT ALL. And I really really really don't like it when I allow an irritation to come out sideways. Plus, it's a delusion men and women can be good friends. It's true if a man wants to be good friends with a woman, it's because he hopes, someday, they'll have sex. I know I have blabbed about this a lot, but it's an old idea I keep taking back. I, as a woman, can be friends with anyone, but if a man doesn't want to have sex with you, and he is straight, he is not going to spend very much time or energy on you. I don't think that one is right and one is wrong, I just think we are two different animals that sometimes communicate on some level that satisfies each of us. The rest of the time, we are puzzled with each other. I think Brad still thinks I can read his mind. "You have to verbalize your wants and needs. I don't know what they are from moment to moment." I know what the look of blankness usually means, but I don't know where it's coming from or what I should do differently, per se.
Dear XY's, we XX's need to be told, in words, what you want, what you need. I know we can't expect to hear how you feel, but maybe a happy or sad from time to time. We also need you to tell us the same things over and over again, because we forgot. Yes, you proposed, and that means you wanted to marry us, but in our minds, you could be fantasizing about divorce or anything other than being married to us since about 1 week after we got back from the honeymoon. Know what I mean? Please, humor us, just a little! We will sincerely try to lay off the waterworks when you say anything that could possibly be considered critical of us or anything in our general vicinity that is a direct reflection of us. : )
I was going to do some dance drills and finish watching The Recruit, which would SUCK without Colin Farrell, BTW. But, I am going to sleep. Sleepy!!!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
the Joy of taking appropriate responsibility
Exchanged emails with DID, and I am very impressed with his Maturity and Willingness to learn about himself and me. Not only to make him a more effective instructor, but to lift each of us up to be better Humans. I wrongly assumed he just cringed and wished I would get over it, regarding my being extra-sensitive. I did not sense cringing from his email. He seems genuinely willing to Adapt and Grow. I feel the same way. My "c>::" prompt with him is, "make Dad proud of you," which puts me in this tense and child-like place. Staying present is the key! Duh!
Still feeling grateful I tried to find "egomaniac with an inferiority complex" in the Literature. I still haven't found it, nor have I found anyone who can, but I was reminded of so many gem-mantras. "God is either everything or he is nothing," implying God is with us in the Present, but not in the future or in the past. The reason why those places are cryptic and often painful, at worst, and at best, are diverting our attention away from our Gift - the Present!
Was mindful to stay Present yesterday while walking Hank to get my allergies shots. That objective, in itself, is a meditation. To not verbally chastise myself when I get into the future, or on occasion, the past, is the challenge. Instead, recall Mary Steinhardt. "Isn't that interesting?"
I started writing an erotic novel, which none of you will ever read. It's kind of a special interest erotic novel. I'll be just that cryptic and stop. I told Brad, and he thought I said, "a neurotic novel." I have already written that one. It's called "my blog." Although, I actually do have another one I have started about family vacations in NM. Wrote 3 pages yesterday during Hank's nap.
Looking so forward to the salsa workshop today, practicing with DPB, and seeing the performances tonight!!! Does that count as not being in the Present? I don't think so. I guess the key to looking forward to something is not predicting the outcomes.
Still feeling grateful I tried to find "egomaniac with an inferiority complex" in the Literature. I still haven't found it, nor have I found anyone who can, but I was reminded of so many gem-mantras. "God is either everything or he is nothing," implying God is with us in the Present, but not in the future or in the past. The reason why those places are cryptic and often painful, at worst, and at best, are diverting our attention away from our Gift - the Present!
Was mindful to stay Present yesterday while walking Hank to get my allergies shots. That objective, in itself, is a meditation. To not verbally chastise myself when I get into the future, or on occasion, the past, is the challenge. Instead, recall Mary Steinhardt. "Isn't that interesting?"
I started writing an erotic novel, which none of you will ever read. It's kind of a special interest erotic novel. I'll be just that cryptic and stop. I told Brad, and he thought I said, "a neurotic novel." I have already written that one. It's called "my blog." Although, I actually do have another one I have started about family vacations in NM. Wrote 3 pages yesterday during Hank's nap.
Looking so forward to the salsa workshop today, practicing with DPB, and seeing the performances tonight!!! Does that count as not being in the Present? I don't think so. I guess the key to looking forward to something is not predicting the outcomes.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Wade in the Water
After going through the litany of songs from gymnastics, ABC, Blackbird, and Yellow Submarine, I sang Swing Low, Sweet Chariot to Hank last night. Don't know why that occurred to me. Of course, I'd like to think it's the alto vocal cords I was born with that Hank likes, but I have read that babies up to a certain age like the sound of their mother's singing even if she is completely tone deaf. And, I know, one of these days, I will hear, "aw, mom!" when I break into song, but right now I am enjoying thinking he is soothed by every note.
He still lets me pick a little on the guitar, too, before he goes for the tuning knobs. I think I'll add some other "old, negro spirituals" to our bedtime set. Is that what we're supposed to call them? Civil War-era African American folk music. How's that? I prefer black and white. I actually prefer whitey for folks like me, but you can't use it in scientific literature (such as this blog).
Looking forward to watching some dancing this weekend at the CCSF. Also, getting to go to a couple of workshops taught by the male world champion. Wonder if he can make me cry? haha.
(No one can MAKE anyone cry. I know). And some social dancing with people I will hopefully never see again. Had ANOTHER replay with DID. We agreed he will say, "stinky feet," when he feels himself transforming into the Hulk when my right arm is too relaxed or not relaxed enough.
Universe, please bring me a neutral dance partner with whom I can practice. Love, Meredith
(Yes, I know you already brought DPB, but because he didn't hear your message, you're gonna have to send another one. Thanks).
He still lets me pick a little on the guitar, too, before he goes for the tuning knobs. I think I'll add some other "old, negro spirituals" to our bedtime set. Is that what we're supposed to call them? Civil War-era African American folk music. How's that? I prefer black and white. I actually prefer whitey for folks like me, but you can't use it in scientific literature (such as this blog).
Looking forward to watching some dancing this weekend at the CCSF. Also, getting to go to a couple of workshops taught by the male world champion. Wonder if he can make me cry? haha.
(No one can MAKE anyone cry. I know). And some social dancing with people I will hopefully never see again. Had ANOTHER replay with DID. We agreed he will say, "stinky feet," when he feels himself transforming into the Hulk when my right arm is too relaxed or not relaxed enough.
Universe, please bring me a neutral dance partner with whom I can practice. Love, Meredith
(Yes, I know you already brought DPB, but because he didn't hear your message, you're gonna have to send another one. Thanks).
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
nothing going on
I always remember Mickey B saying to me, probably around this time of year, "Meredith, you are the only one who doesn't think you have 'hit bottom.'" I imagine him saying the opposite to me, today. "Meredith, you are the only one who thinks there is any drama. There is none." Correct.
I think I just missed reading Twilights and wanted something to think about. Not necessary. And, it's not like I don't have enough to actually DO. I guess escaping in fantasy, be it someone else's or my own, from time to time, withOUT taking hostages, is permitted.
Looking for "egomaniac with an inferiority complex" in a book, and instead was reminded of so many mantras that used to occupy my thoughts..."see what we can pack into the stream of life"..."what can we give, not what can we get"...and one that I think about, still, from time to time, "everyday IS Groundhog Day."
My head is stuffy from the sinus infection that I think has been waxing and waning for weeks and never fully waned. Finally went to doc. Got some prednisone. Look out, dirty house! (Actually, it's already pretty clean).
I think I just missed reading Twilights and wanted something to think about. Not necessary. And, it's not like I don't have enough to actually DO. I guess escaping in fantasy, be it someone else's or my own, from time to time, withOUT taking hostages, is permitted.
Looking for "egomaniac with an inferiority complex" in a book, and instead was reminded of so many mantras that used to occupy my thoughts..."see what we can pack into the stream of life"..."what can we give, not what can we get"...and one that I think about, still, from time to time, "everyday IS Groundhog Day."
My head is stuffy from the sinus infection that I think has been waxing and waning for weeks and never fully waned. Finally went to doc. Got some prednisone. Look out, dirty house! (Actually, it's already pretty clean).
Monday, October 19, 2009
I'll let you know
when I have a normal dream. Last night I dreamed I went on a long, plastic roller coaster with Mindy Montfort after meeting Diana on a high bridge over Lake Austin where she worked (outside). Then met the actual DA I would be working with. We ate pimento cheese sandwiches on the top floor of the courthouse building. Told me his wife had been arrested in Europe for ordering a fruity drink that had been misinterpreted. Made an escape from an interior subway stand inside a high-rise building. Told them we were in the Swedish music program for children (through high school). Apparently, it was not mean to kids, but they slept like sardines stacked in closely packed containers. Woke up with a foot on my neck...
Despite reasons for, I have decided against DPB being a good DP for moi. My level of attractedness at neutral (neither attracted to, nor repelled by) was the most appealing, but height, skill, and our goals seemed like good reasons. But he has irritated me to the point of thinking it's a bad idea. So, beyond our LB team performance, no more!
In bad news, I keep getting sinus infections!!! Boo.
In good news, Nana is coming back to town!!! Yeah.
Despite reasons for, I have decided against DPB being a good DP for moi. My level of attractedness at neutral (neither attracted to, nor repelled by) was the most appealing, but height, skill, and our goals seemed like good reasons. But he has irritated me to the point of thinking it's a bad idea. So, beyond our LB team performance, no more!
In bad news, I keep getting sinus infections!!! Boo.
In good news, Nana is coming back to town!!! Yeah.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
so much to say
Been writing to you a lot, lately, world. Got home from teaching and Hank and Brad were asleep. I ate, showered, and now have what appears to be some free time on my hands. I think the couch is calling my name. I don't want to risk waking anyone up. DIT and his wife came to my weight-lifting class. I am impressed with their core strength! I was very thrilled to have them there. I was nervous, and it was not as good of a class as it usually is. DIT is such a good teacher. I felt goofy teaching in front of him. Silly.
Had a good practice with DPB yesterday, before official practice, and during. We have lots in common. Some of which explain some of his eccentricities. I'm sure he feels the same way about me and mine. There is part in the blues section where I walk backwards, facing him, and am shimmying my shoulders. He is on his knees. I told him I will die if I look at him during that part. I think it's true. It's a character to be played. It will take courage, but I will risk death to try it. We have the choreo down well for the Lindy section. We have most of the blues section, and it's not hard, it's just a matter of getting the timing and steps down. Then, I suppose when we feel bored with all the steps, we add styling. That will be fun, too. Although, having the acoustic version of Layla in my head is driving me a little nuts.
Way to go, Texas, yesterday!!! Colt told Bradford he was praying for him after the game, while he hugged him. Colt also hugged Bob Stoops. Ew. But, so sweet. Texas said it was an honor to play against a man such as Bradford, the Heisman Trophy winner. So humble and magnanimous. I love that. And they did service work this summer. So great. Way to go, Mac Brown!!! Power used for Good!!!
Had a good practice with DPB yesterday, before official practice, and during. We have lots in common. Some of which explain some of his eccentricities. I'm sure he feels the same way about me and mine. There is part in the blues section where I walk backwards, facing him, and am shimmying my shoulders. He is on his knees. I told him I will die if I look at him during that part. I think it's true. It's a character to be played. It will take courage, but I will risk death to try it. We have the choreo down well for the Lindy section. We have most of the blues section, and it's not hard, it's just a matter of getting the timing and steps down. Then, I suppose when we feel bored with all the steps, we add styling. That will be fun, too. Although, having the acoustic version of Layla in my head is driving me a little nuts.
Way to go, Texas, yesterday!!! Colt told Bradford he was praying for him after the game, while he hugged him. Colt also hugged Bob Stoops. Ew. But, so sweet. Texas said it was an honor to play against a man such as Bradford, the Heisman Trophy winner. So humble and magnanimous. I love that. And they did service work this summer. So great. Way to go, Mac Brown!!! Power used for Good!!!
Friday, October 16, 2009
I know what to do...
One is easy, simple, not without effort, but always with a smile, and always leaving me with a smile. One is moody, always changing. One minute everything is fine, the next minute, it's all wrong. One is always authentic and wants to know my authentic self. I can't tell if the other one is or not, or cares about me at all or not. It so straightforward, but I guess the rest of my life is so completely without drama, that I keep wishing the hardware store will finally be stocking bread.
I think another one is trying to quit me entirely, but that just may be my ego with an inferiority complex. Today was good until about an hour ago. Tomorrow get to do lots of dancing. I look forward to that.
I think another one is trying to quit me entirely, but that just may be my ego with an inferiority complex. Today was good until about an hour ago. Tomorrow get to do lots of dancing. I look forward to that.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Very rough first part of Rumba with DIT with DID talking in background
Had a fun lesson with DID, although I feel like I have no idea how to cha cha, now.
And had a very fun lesson with DIT, afterwards. We are going to take out the hug (wow, it looks silly when I do it!), but the end has a crazy (for me) long pivot turn with us connected, and the ragdoll, which I had never done before today.
And had a very fun lesson with DIT, afterwards. We are going to take out the hug (wow, it looks silly when I do it!), but the end has a crazy (for me) long pivot turn with us connected, and the ragdoll, which I had never done before today.
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