Friday, July 28, 2006

dark cloud slightly lighter

well, if you are wondering what to get me for christmas.... it's a subscription to multivariate behavioral research. just in case you were wondering. who knew I liked research methods? not I. but, I do!
lana and I went to my offfice today. got my grant proposal updated. just need to do a couple more things and I can send it off. once I get committee approval!
sent them all an email yesterday to try to begin the ball rolling to presenting my proposal. I now see that the ball rolls much like a bowling ball pushed by an ant uphill through sand. ok, maybe not quite that bad, but I didn't get any response from 3 of them, yet.
looked a lot for a job yesterday. many jobs for DSHS (TDH). many. a professor I asked was optimistic and said it was a matter of timing. to me, time is one my side because of my skills. I have a job that I could work more at for a period of months. this seems totally reasonable to me. is it, in fact, unreasonable?
she also said I could work for the city. it also seems to me a school district would be a reasonable option.
I felt very anxious looking. of course the ones I found were for today, this week, etc. a few looked REALLY cool. but, those will be gone. this is how I felt looking for a house. I can see why I have not yet looked.
anyway, trying to talk myself down off the ledge.
afterall, I am healthy, bh is healthy, family is healthy. ok, physically, not mentally, clearly!!! I can run, although my leg is a little irritated so I am biking tomorrow instead of running. I have a great roof over my head. I never miss a meal. I think I need bigger hand paddles to swim with, that's super cool. bh and I are going to the mountains. trying to get reexcited about that one. my house is not being bombed.

I don't categorically support any government under all circumstances. I have been talking with my peeps about the middle east situation. it seems many categorically support a country no matter what it does. I don't categorically support anyone or anything no matter what it does. if brad started bombing people, even if they had bombed him in the past, I would not categorically support him. I would still love him, and I would support him as a person, but I would not support his bombing people.

found out some more old friends died. Alex Magocsi who used to write for the Observer and Mark Durham. sad.
I guess this is what happens the longer you stay alive. it is hard to think this will get easier, especially as people closer and closer go. people say that births balance it out, but I have never felt that.

we did have a birth, however in the fam. d&d had girl #2. very cute. all are well. that is good news.

1 comment:

-Brandon said...

I'm surfing friends blogs...does bh have about tz. I don't understand the bombing and support mentality either. Have fun in the mountains, where are you going? We are going to NYC to race in CT. Then, in a couple of weeks we are going to Kelowna to race...We'll say hi to S&K Wood.