Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Diagnosis spider

BH was bitten by a brown recluse and he won't go to the doctor.

I had baby duty for 24 hours because we initially thought he had the flu. For the first 2 months, I did not ever want to be away from the baby. Now, I need breaks. Especially due to his acid reflux. Poor guy. It's hard to be around him with no break when he is upset. MA and I talked about feeling guilty when we left our husbands alone with the kid. Or feeling like the husband was baby sitting the kid. In fact, the responsibility is half his, and he is not baby sitting. Our husbands never act like it is more our job or act like we should feel guilty when we leave, this is just our thought process. I even sometimes feel guilty when I go to work, particularly when BH is usually at work and is staying home to work. He can work from home any time he feels like if he doesn't have meetings. I guess this is one of those things I have to say, isn't that interesting, Mary. It's not bad or wrong, just interesting. The reality is, I love the baby, and I want to be around him 99.9% of the time. Normal people have to have moments of silence to themselves. I am a normal person. I suppose that is up for debate.

Determined to write up my dissertation as a manuscript to submit to a journal. Feel like if I had a block of 2 hours every now and then I could get it done. I cannot think long enough to write complete paragraphs when I only have 20 minutes here or 20 minutes there. I am hoping the dude will eventually get on enough of a schedule I can predict when I might have 2 hours.
I can clean the house in the short breaks, answer email, become self-absorbed on my blog. But, I can't use very much of my brain unless I have a block of time. That was true even before baby.
It's funny how almost everyone I know from age 30+ complains that their brain does not work as well as it used to, and they think they are abnormal. Maybe this is another one of those things. I am going to stop telling myself my brain isn't working even when it isn't. The other day I couldn't think of the word highchair. Isn't that interesting.

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