Thursday, March 04, 2010

good gone bad

This has been the shittiest 4 days in a long fucking time. Mother, don't worry, I WILL be ok. I just need to vent. And express how incredulous I am about how shitty it has been. March 1, the first day of my 38th year. Very shitty. March 2. Shitty. March 3. Shitty. Today. Very shitty. And "I wish I were a lesbian and not a hetero." - Loudon Wainwright III. OK, God. Surrender. I surrender. Enough shittiness. I know it is not God doing it to me. It is no one doing it to me. They are just doing it. And the way they are doing it is very shitty. Why is the Y chromosome so toxic? I do not understand. I understand less about it today than I ever have. They have us. Right where they want us. We give them all this ooey gooey love. Boobs. Shaved legs. Good smells. They turn on and off like robots. Mean robots. Cold blooded. Very cold. I've never met a woman as cold as the warmest man I have ever met. They are cold. Tiger-killing machines. Sperm-spreading machines. Would we have boundaries between countries without the Y chromosome? I think not. The earth would be grossly overpopulated with sweetness and breast-feeding and would be way too hot. Global warming caused by the absence of Y chromosomes. Aren't there fish and flowers who reproduce without needing the opposite sex? Come on, ladies. We can do this alone. The traffic would be so awesome. Us letting each other in all the time. Using our turn signals. Asking for directions. We could do each others' nails for free because we would have so much free time not cleaning up after them. The entire world would be enlightened in just a few more years of us running things. We would become one with the Spirit of the Universe. But, let's keep Hank.

PS Hurtful friend has unfacebook friended me. I guess we are not friends, anymore. Yesterday, friends. Today, argument. Unfacebook friended. That is what friend has done with all other emotionally intimate relationships. Friend says I am immature. I hope it is anything that is the opposite of unfucking facebook friending someone after breaking her heart several times over. That is very sad for friend. Must be much more lonely than I can understand. I will pray for friend to find a Different Way. And to save me from being angry and hurt. I have prostrated myself several times over and cannot penetrate the cement ice-wall. I hope friend can let someone in someday.

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