Things to say/not to say to a pregnant lady

Not to say:
You look bigger than last week. (My thought: You look uglier than last week).
How ARE you? (Great, how ARE you?)
Are you glad it's a [boy or girl]? (Nope, sex change, right out of the chute).
How are you FEELING? (Great, how are you FEELING? I feel pregnant. Duh!)
Are you/How long are you going to nurse? (Until the child can ask for it and unbutton my shirt).
How much l0nger are you going to work? (I'm thinking I'll stop, now!)
You're drinking/eating [that]?! (Did you want a bite?)
Is your husband excited? (No, he's upset the baby is the milkman's child).

To say:
You look radiant/beautiful/healthy. (My thought: thank you. I feel fat, but I am glad my skin isn't pimply).
Your boobs look awesome. (I know, right!)
Hi. (Hi!)
Congratulations! (Thank you!)