BH came home for lunch yesterday because I was having a hormonal meltdown. It was very sweet.
He can detach with love or possibly indifference from his work. I know the swim team is an opportunity for me to practice for the ultimate challenge. I realized yesterday I do want my child to answer or pay some sort of attention after his name is called once. I do not think I will drop him off at swim team until he is at least in middle school, and even then, I don't think I will routinely drop him off. I also don't think I will take my 6 year old to swim practice outdoors when the outdoor temperature is below 70 or the water is below 79. The little kids actually didn't drive me as buggy as the big kids did, yesterday. BH told me when they were given a track workout of 6x400, they would want to do 10x400 because they thought that would make them faster. Isn't that the goal??? Most of the big kids try to talk me down like it's an auction. I made the mistake of doing it once, so part of that is my fault. Meanwhile, Steve and I have both given several inspirational talks. It's actually not the whole team. It's the boys that whine like little girls. The middle school kids asks if what is next is going home. I say, "Yes, you can always go home. I don't have a gun." I also have been ignoring the questions: Is this set hard? Is this the last thing? What time is it? What time do we get out?
There may be others. It would never occur to me at any age to question my coach in activity I wanted to do. I remember telling the gymnastics coach I was afraid, but I let him talk me into trying. I don't know. I do know the problem is me, and I need to let it go. Do what I can, and let it go.
I have many thank you notes to write on Hank's behalf. I am very grateful his room is setup enough so that he has a place to sleep, eat, and get cleaned up.