Friday, March 06, 2009
Haven't written in a while. Busy with Hank, work, the house, etc. Hank went to 4 hours of BokerTov (Mother's Day out) this week. He will go for 13 weeks. He cries when I leave, but they said only for a minute or two. We are off letting him cry by himself. We each tried it a couple of times for 5 minute increments. It did not feel right to me, and after rereading parts of the Attachment Parenting book I feel affirmed it is not right for us. Brad is putting him to sleep tonight and tomorrow night. And we're going to try to close the all-night café. I am fine with continuing nursing before his 2 naps for a while longer.
Had a little breakthrough with relaxing my arms in my dance lesson last time and tonight. Went to my first social dance on my birthday. I stayed out until 10 pm! I am going tomorrow night to a workshop then social dance at 7:30. It will be much easier to leave the house for a 7:30 class than an 8:30 lesson and 9 pm dance. I did have fun at the dance, although afterwards I felt a little discombobulated, like what the heck were all those do-si-so's? I also made a disclaimer to a guy I didn't know that I had only had 2 months of salsa 2. He said, that's ok, because this is merengue. haha. Tonight I wanted to work on Rumba a little with DID, so we did. He used the word "sultry." I reiterated that I did not have any interest in being sultry. He said I picked the wrong dance, and I guess I looked shocked because he backed off a little. He said in social dancing Rumba you don't have to be all that sultry, it's just that you have time to move your hips and settle into that contraindicated locked knee with all your weight on it. I hope me and all these dancers aren't sitting around the osteopathic clinic when we are 50 with osteo-arthritis in our knees.
We watched a little of Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now lecture on PBS last night. Is it now? There you go. I wanted to go buy that book. I haven't finished a New Earth, yet, so that seems to miss his point. I did enjoy Hank extra today by continuing to ask myself the question, is it now? when my mind wandered in to the future. Wandering into the past is not usually painful for me. I like to look at it and know it's over, good or bad. Wandering into the future is rarely fun. His point is, joy is now. You might miss some present joy if you don't spend your time in now. Makes sense. ALL my anxiety is in the future. Seems like an easy way to stay happy. Stay out of the future!!! It's so seductive, though. What if? What if? What if? Is it now?
Yes, it is.