Just got home from the Hole in the Wall hearing some old friends play. The last time I was in there was 2000, playing my final SXSW. The first time I went there was 1987 when I was 15 with my dad. This time it was so surreal. The bar seemed bigger, but it smelled the same - still like cigarettes & beer, although I don't know how many years it's been non-smoking. It was such a relief to be there as 43 year-old me. Not wondering with whom or how I would get home. I don't miss that life in any way. So lonesome and so desperate. Ugh. Psychiatric medication helps, but I think 20+ years of living on earth and of being sober have made me so much calmer. I didn't realize how much peace I walk around in now until going there tonight. What a miracle. Even as dorky and neurotic as I am today, compared to 20 year-old me I'm close to Nirvana, now. I'm so grateful many of my 20 year-old wishes for myself didn't come true.
Did you know there's tons of frat people out all over Guadalupe at midnight? I don't remember that, but I don't remember that much, so maybe it was always that way. Before I left everyone asleep and snoring, I told Brad I was afraid of finding a place to park and of getting mugged. Haha. I paid $7 to park, and I did not come close to getting mugged. I got a free diet coke, and got home well before closing time. Not a bad night for staying up past bedtime.