Tuesday, May 16, 2006

meant to put this one up last week. I liked it and not too tough. gre outdoors chlorine is screwy. felt itchy and burning on skin when I got out. boo.

WU 400 Fr
300 K
500 Pu
200 Dr

I.200 Fr
4x100 IM
300 Fr
6x75 fly/bk/br
400 Fr
9x50 IMR
500 Fr

II. 3x150 Pu desc 1-3

CD 300 EZK
200 EZ Fr
=5000 yds

got to 22000 m last week. awesome. running SOME. it is hard to not do what I CAN do versus what I SHOULD do. ran some with marie this morning on the track. it was no problem to run pretty fast, but now my fib is a little achy, and a new little irritation emerged in the front of my hip. lateral hip feels fine, though, so maybe that's progress. still loving swimming a lot. I feel like a swimmer. funny.
trying to get things done around the house and RELAX. this is challenging. my brain. not motiviated to do some things that have been waiting for me to do around the house all semester, yet I have a hard time sitting still and/or just being. this morning I tried to think of things i LIKE to do. I like to have a really clean house, and I like to be organized. no, those are not things I like to do, but I am willing to use a means to get to an ends. therefore, the workout post, and cleaning off my home desk.
going to the other room some. I know how to detach in anger and frustration. I have no idea how to detach with love. except maybe from my grandmother, or someone I love who doesn't have a strong emotional attachment.
one of my clients helped me realize all my women friends are very self-sufficient. very interesting. I want the fruits of those relationships, so I know I need to cultivate them. those are places of safety and comfort. where to get my needs met. I have a hard time discerning what is a reasonable expectation and what is crazy. then, the next step is to know that just because it is reasonable doesn't mean that it will be met by one person, or one person in particular.
it is funny how when I dodge growth opportunities they do go away for a while, then they come back. I thought I had already figured out what Meredith likes and what her core values are, what she is willing to live with and what she isn't. this one I didn't dodge, but ironically has reemerged on a new level. things to seek God about.
if life were eating cake all day, I wouldn't need God's help. easy to remember sitting at the computer.
lots of clients today. tomorrow back to school.

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