I can see, now that I am coming out of the fog of the semester, once again, that I keep myself busy so that I don't feel my feelings. I think that I used to drink over being lonesome. I know I did. I see that I teach aerobics, have clients, teach swimming, teach triathlon class, work on my dissertation, exercise, there certainly must be more, to avoid sitting still.
I think I will try to see how I have made progress in this area rather than beat myself up about there I go again. Step 1 is quitting rec sports. Step 2 is saying no to a volunteer thing. Step 1 is teaching for Don Crowley. OK, fine, but it's only 2 mornings a week for 6 weeks. I do feel less lonesome than in the past end semesters. I think that other people struggle with this phenomenon. Maybe not in the academic year kind of way, but I hear that others work on balance. So, maybe it is one of those things like someone to pray for - something that I need God for. And probably some outside help, which I am getting. Haven't gotten to the other room, yet.