Wednesday, June 03, 2009

woke up with morals

Woke up with the morals to the stories in my head.  1.  Being sensitive is not a character defect.  Amy Hodges told me that about 10 years ago.  I am well equipped to guide Hank, who appears, at the age of 16 months, to be sensitive.  I don't want to project my STUFF on to him, but when he comes to me from a place of child-like excitement, (probable, during his childhood) I listen, support, etc...don't shut him down.  2.  Don't go to the hardware store for bread.  This one comes up a lot and is maybe a reminder I need to be going to the "other room"  (when I would do that, I have no idea, but...)  I have made lots of progress on this.  BUT, on one hand, I feel like a turtle, which is not very mature.  I'm just not gonna come out.  On the other hand, I can make informed decisions about with whom I am deeply authentic.  Is it possible to be authentic without showing one's entire hand to everyone?  Maybe not.  I guess I don't know exactly where the boundaries on this one are, but I do know not everyone is "safe."  It bugs me people I want to be safe are not.  That's just one of those things.  Can't always git what you want.  It's childlike to think or act like everyone IS safe.  Not reality.  3.  My experiences can benefit others.  I have seen that lots of times with the little kids and water/swimming/being scared.  There was a little girl at meet the coaches who was breaking all of our hearts.  Her parents weren't being mean, they were just being clueless.  She did NOT want to go in the deep water.  She didn't want to be on the swim team.  The mom got in with her with all her clothes on.  The dad was already in with her.  That was pretty humane, but the little girl was barely floating, vertically in the water, crying, and was not swimming.  All the coaches talked with her and her parents at different times during the whole thing.  My gift is with the little girl.  Jeanne was very good with the parents.  Don is good with both.  

Looks like we are not having bootcamp, again.  We preemptively cancelled last week for rain.  Now, it's raining, so I will send out an early-morning email.  I am sure Bob will assume he can sleep-in after seeing the lightening.  : )

I started new client a few weeks ago who has been very weepy each time I have seen her.  I felt very sympathetic towards her.  Although she had been through a LOT of physical and health stuff to which I could not relate, I had been where she was in terms of self-talk.  I am NOT the poster child for adaptive self-talk, but, again, I have made progress.  When you say, "this is my bad side," it is true no matter how founded in physical reality; it's your bad side.  You don't have to lie to yourself, but you can say something more adaptive to move towards progress.  "This side is very challenging."  Something along those lines.  
I am sensitive;  It's a character asset that is sometimes challenging.  How's that?

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